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awknight Mar 2019
The dreams roll through my
mind as it hovers over the edge
of rest. A constant feeling of feeling
everything at once.
I cry as the clouds cover my eyes
and I fall into a land where I am
Dripping down my cheeks comes
the blood of reopened scars
slashed wide in fear of existence.
I walk through tunnels into green
fields of hope and sun and reflection.
Fences unbury themselves; capturing
my thoughts again.
As they ascend the small child grabs my hand
and vomits on my face.

I wake up.
awknight Mar 2019
Its fight or flight
when it comes down
to the end of things

flight is comfortable
we walk away with less
— external — bruises

fight is harrowing
its a double edged
sword, my dear

bruises and scrapes
show on our flesh
but — internally — thrive

what to do with yield signs
thrown in my greener grass
is this the other side?

paradise turns, choked
choked to undergrowth
and vermin

a misunderstanding of
what a truth is

perception versus reality
awknight Feb 2019
All the things I am scared to say
pile in my brain;  begging to flood over
they don’t know their own names, but
crave to be heard.

your voice. its vibrato, true velvet
floating across every atom of my being
a truth spoken that only comes from your lips
a masterpiece no mere humans could create

my darling, do you sift through the clouds
scanning my eyes as I worship the light you bring?
do you hear me call your name as my dreams
project themselves toward where you are.

your eyes. their stare, a protective state
I have never known; dancing across my
every move. laughter finds itself within the
outlying colors of your world. Don’t you see…

don’t you see, our eyes match intensities to
create another creation. a world colliding
but not in a collision. A big bang, but in serenity.
a secret kept; only for us.

please, don’t allow me to write about the hands
that write me everyday. defining a path in the dark
a leader, led by truth and goodness
sought by many; found by me.

I fall into an eternity, wrapped into you —
you rise and fall; I reciprocate. We are
patterns; carefully placed alongside
juxtaposing backgrounds, only to become one.

I surrender, fully. I understand now. For you
my heart would fall from my chest, fulfilled
it leaps.
I will not chase it, it has found its freedom.

Freedom in the throwing up of hands.
A white flag positioned
when a person creates an understanding of gods
awknight Feb 2019
Fear lingers the air
A rush of emotions
my guard was down
safety in the plush maroon
blanket shrouding my tear-filled face.

I have begun to escape the bliss
I have seen the bad in myself
I have seen that you see them too

I am no longer the epitome of your
perfection, you scrape across me
with your saddened eyes

You see the flaws I let seep from my shell
The labyrinth of my mind invited you in
but you got lost
slamming against the walls
an anger is misunderstanding
an angst in the unknown

I wish I could calm the tempest
that has found home in your temples
veins arise in anger and lack of oxygen

my dear, I used to be your breath of fresh air
now I am toxic waste
flooding your system
only to drown you in the short comings of
awknight Jan 2019
I am still here
remind myself to quit
quit subjecting myself
nothing but failure
leave my mind and
fall into the safety of
my heart.

My outlook has been
skewed. knocks along the
temples ache in the pain
a diluting of happiness
and a concentration of fear.

Wipe the tears from my eyes
and peer into the windows
clouded by misunderstanding
hold me until I understand
you feel home in the beat of
my veins.
  Nov 2018 awknight
Brynn S
Those dark cold nights
The ones I held so dear
They dissipate as ends prove near
I was always blind
I fled from the silence
I ran to false profits
Those who gave me solace
A woman of straightedge
Narrowed by the path
Now holding fire
breath in the wrath
Lost in the found
I am poison
Fleeting through time
The hours conclude
The rasping grind
Run to the roses
For the thrones pierced your eyes
Darling of nature
Watch as all lies

With two eyes absent the third appears
awknight Nov 2018
As your eyes
dance across mine
our irises bounce light
off the other's glare.
I understand —
finally —
where people find gods
create altars
build temples
give sacrifice

how they devote
entire lives
to things unseen

only felt.
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