It* is like
I was sleeping
peacfully
Then suddenly
I woke up in the middle
Of a circus; All eyes on me
And I'm 100 feet
In the air balancing
On a rope thinner than
My hair; it breaks
I'm falling and everyone is screaming
Then suddenly
There's silence and my eyes are closed
Something heavy is in my hand
I open my eyes
There's a thick whip and hoop
Pressed into my hand
An angry lion stalking me
I'm shaking
Not knowing what to do
"Don’t let him know you're afraid."
"Don’t let him know you're afraid."
I chant to myself
But it's too late.
He knows.
I try to scream, I try to run
But before I move
He already has me pinned
His teeth crushing my throat
My blood gurgling within
My gaping mouth
Then suddenly
My head is bursting through
Salty waves and I'm bobbing
In the thrashing ocean.
I cannot breathe.
My arms flailing for something,
Anything to save me.
Hands grasp my shaking fingers
I think I am safe.
Then I wake up
Back inside that circus.
The Lion is waiting.
I cannot escape.

-ARI

Soft gentle warmth
Dancing between my fingertips
Like a sweet playful child.

Beautiful hope and
Sweet serenity woven
Together inside my soul.

Colors in my mind suddenly
Faded; cracked like long
Forgotten children's paint.

Breath inside my lungs
Becoming too thin;
I cannot breathe.

My eyes hiding the terror
Sewn carelessly into my mind
By life's rusted needle.

Maniacal whispers ringing
Violently between my ears
Like an unforgiving church bell.

Ding.
Ding.
Ding.

Empty words of false love
Wrapped around my throat
Choking me with a Giants grip.

I'm ok.
Thanks for asking.
I love you too.

-ARI

I'm sorry
I cannot be
A perfect wife;
That’s just not
Me.

I'm sorry
I cannot deal
A perfect house
And delightful
Meal.

I'm sorry
I cannot make
A perfect smile
For your eyes to
Intake.


-ARI

I feel
Bone crushing
Anxiety
And I
Don't know
Why

-ARI

The higher I climb
The better the view
I see.

The higher I climb
The more tired
I become.

The higher I climb
The sweeter the air
Filling my lungs.

The higher I climb
The more blisters
On my hands.

The higher I climb
The more songs I hear
The birds sing.

The higher I climb
The more my limbs
Are aching.

One day I will
Reach the top
Of my ladder.

Who will be there
To greet my weary bones
And hopeful heart?

-ARI

All she wanted
In her life
was a little baby
To hold at night.

Boy or girl
To complete
her crazy
world.

But all she ever got
Was a doctor
Shaking his head
Saying:

Sorry ma'am but
The baby is gone
Sorry ma'am
Just stay strong

You'll be alright
You'll be okay
Just close your eyes
and try another day.

But she didn't want
to try again.
For every night
She'd close her eyes

Counting her babies graves
and all the names
She'd never say
And she'd just pray

'Oh Lord,
not one, not two,
not three, but four,
when will death
come to my door
For I cant do this again."

All this pain
All this aching
In my heart and
Bleeding in my brain.

For now
She'll say goodbye
Yet again
For that's what they expect.

All she wanted
In her life
was a little baby
To hold at night.

Boy or girl
To complete
her crazy
world.

But all she ever got
Was a doctor
Shaking his head
Saying:

Sorry ma'am but
The baby is gone
Sorry ma'am
Just stay strong

You'll be alright
You'll be okay
Hold yourself
Just hold on tight

You can try
Again some other time
But little did he know
time wasn't on her side .

-ARI