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Sometimes I get sad
and go to a dark place

It's rough there
it's dark there

My saddness in uncontrollable
I don't know where it's from

I'm crying for someone's help
begging to get out

I once beleived that God
could get me through

But I feel to far away
where he can't see me

The light is not around
so bury me in the ground

I want out of this hell
God, help me

I will bleed
until I die

Cut into the skin
that isn't mine

The truth is
I'll never escape

The truth is
I'll never be saved

I've done too much wrong
and I don't belong

Heaven's a beautiful place
I can see it

When I close my eyes
I float off

It's a place with good
there is no fear or pain

But when I awake
reality sets in

I'm dead now
there's no life left

I've got to accept that
get comfortable

My life is not mine
but I have control

I've made too many mistakes
and I won't be saved.
  Apr 2014 Andy KittySmasher
Trisha
Faking happiness is an impossible task,
I was tired of wearing a mask,
faking a smile wasn't easy,
even if I feel sick and dizzy,
no one understood the pain I had,
or why was I always sad,
all they did was make fun,
and it's then when I thought I'm done,
unfulfilled dreams and a broken heart,
I thought I should've ended it from the start,
I burried all the pain deep inside my soul,
but yeah that's how I roll,
Crying all day and night,
and picking up a fight,
with almost everyone everyday,
I hope one day I'll be okay,
and lately I've been falling a little out of place,
thinking about my dreams lost without a trace,
Will they realize my importance when I'm dead,
Ahh my eyes were red and the pain in my head,
I didn't want to live like this anymore,
because the pain everyday was more,
heart full of pain and sorrow,
I wish there was a brighter day tomorrow,
Cutting or self harm was all I thought about,
but I always had some or the other doubt,
I've gone through a lot, seen a lot of things I wasn't supposed to see,
and the only person who ever knew was me,
the pain kills me,
I wanted someone to set me free,
A little love is what I need,
But no one ever paid heed,
the hurt, the pain,
was driving me insane,
If I ever truly showed you what's inside,
you'd say I should've died,
Instead of living like this,
no good food, no love, no goodnight kiss,
just tears, headaches, and lots of pain,
but I wanted to keep cool, that's what I told my brain,
Will this pain ever go away?
**Maybe tomorrow, but not today.
Just a little sad these days, going through a bad phase, so this poem.
I don't deserve the sun
I don't deserve the sea
I don't deserve feet to run
Or eyes so I can see

I don't deserve a home
I don't deserve a friend
I don't deserve to roam
Or with others to blend

But I know you don't agree
You think I deserve more
But truly you deserve better than me
You're not something you buy at the convience store

But I don't deserve you
I don't deserve how much you care
I don't deserve anything you do
And hurt me? You wouldn't dare

When I deserve the rain
And every dark cloud in the sky
You take away my pain
And make the clouds say goodbye

I know I can't provide you
With everything you need
But there is one thing I can do
Is give you this poem to read

To tell you how much I love you
And I care so much for you
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To make sure I keep you

Because if we are honest
I don't deserve you
But I'll try my best
To make this good for you
<3
  Apr 2014 Andy KittySmasher
M
11w
the idea of someone
being in love with me
is laughable
*
Its nice to see your pretty face
In lunch and in the hall
But I never get enough of you  
Not nearly enough at all

Your smile is big
And lights up the room
It brightens my day
Even when its filled with gloom

And even though youre perfect
In every single way
I know theres something missing
Something you want to say

You always stay kind of quiet
And giggle to yourself
I wish youd break out a bit
And show the world yourself

I love the person you are
And the funny things you say
I look forward to seeing you tomorrow
And ill talk to you later today.
<3
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