My forever feels torn away.
My forever grows farther day by day.
The girl she is now.
The girl I am now.
Our worlds a thousand miles apart.
All based off of two hearts.
Hers and mine forever unified.
People try to cut us away.
Our hearts grow stronger each day.
A metal shield around them.
But still I find myself frightened.
The shield is possible to wither away.
The scratched and damages others have made.
The metal is slowly exposing our weak hearts.
Still strongly together.
Never apart.
If the metal leaves.
The shield holding us in place.
If our walls come down.
So do we.
Forever so far away.
My doubts all in the open.
Shield fell down.
Still the hearts in place.
Held tightly by her love for me.
Tighter than any man made shield.
We will be okay.
I love you babe...

The words she paints so gently
Etch my mind
Her voice leaving me stunned
So beautiful and fine
Speaking ever so softly
Sending chills down my spine
She wispers in my ear
Babe are you really mine?
I am yours my love.
Always have been.
Always will be.
Til the end of this universe.
And life as we know it.
I will always be yours.  
Some don't believe in forever.
Some don't think about infinities.
My infinty rests with her.
She is my light.
She is my love.
Whispering gently in my ear.
I love you so my dear.
Is that so? I wisper back.
Well beautiful, guess what?
I love you too.

This is my fire range
The place I put my thoughts when they are rearanged.
Yes this is my firing range.
The only thing keeping me partially sane.
When I need to let go I hold on
This page gives me a new dawn
So yes this is my firing range
Where I fire the most hateful words
With a wirl in my brain.
Welcome to my firing range.

My body shakes
My body aches
I have nothing left to give
I gave my life away
So she could stay
Just one more day
Every cry
The tear that seeps from my eyes
My heart beat slows
My skin no longer glows
My skin is pale
My body is frail
Breaking at the smallest touch
My hair used to be long
Now it's all gone
Long blonde hair
No longer there
Once smooth welcoming skin
Now dry unwelcoming and thin
I'm dying inside
But I stay for her
Not much more energy
Left inside me
I was living just for her
The love of my life now cries at night
Because I couldn't hold on anymore
Now I'm at peace
Died and just slipped away
I just couldn't stay

When I look at her I see pain.
In the dark nights I hear her silent pleas.
She screams about the rain.
How it never stops.
How it's pounding her Brain.
Yes down falls the rain.
Yesterday night she fell weak to the blade.
Told me she'd be strong.
Promised nothing would go wrong.
I went to bed only in the morning to hear her gentle voice say...
"I'm sorry I wasn't strong."
It's okay I replied. You made it through the night.

Many different people are out...
The sunset so beautiful.
Then it goes down.
Darkness.
Her and I sitting on the hill.
The peaceful noises around us.
Sitting close.
Her hand in mine.
She's so beautiful.
Especially her eyes.
The color drawing me in.
I lean in to kiss her and she pulls back smirking.
She asks, what's on your mind?
I can't even begin to describe it.
So here in the dark we sit.
Our words minimum, barely any.
The shadows surround us, so many...
I pull her close and kiss her.
I melt just by her touch.
She's amazing.
The way she wispers in my ear...
The way she freezes and stops when others are near.
The way she has to be high to feel alive.
The way she can talk half the night and still be nowhere near ending the conversation.
The way she smirks when looking me in the eyes.
****... I can't get her off my mind.
So **** amazing.
So love, when you ask what's on my mind, just know it's too much to describe.
I have nothing to hide.
I'm just mesmerized.

Everything can change in the blink of an eye.
One second everything's great the next you want to die.
I honestly don't want to be here anymore.
I guess I'm hanging on for her.
We were had plans together.
Now they are nothing.
Reality went to dreams.
Now I will see her in my sleep.
Wanting to run to her and hug her tight.
Knowing I just want to stay out of sight.
She said if I cut so will she.
I told her she has more potential than me.
I begged her not to leave.
She said she'd need time to think.
I wasn't ready for that today.
She left me speechless no words to say.
Numb.
Finger laying on the trigger of the gun.
Not being able to run to anyone.
Her in the dark my thoughts run wild.
A ******* confused little child.
I want to light up agin.
Put my worries to an end.
I thought I was clean.
No longer had a need.
Leaning on nicotine as my only relief.
Smoking more and more
**** nobody cares.
People really do.
My mind denies it.
Just wanting to forget.
Addicted to running silver down my arm again and again.
The blade is one of my few friends.
Put the gun to my head the end.