I'll tell you what it's like....
You'll smile at the thought of him
His whisper will convince you
That fire is pleasurable
Your heart will pound for him
And his, will calm your spiraling soul
You'll fight and try to hide your love
But it will flow out of you like water
Every wall, crumbled
He will control you
He will bend your neck to suit him
Tug at your hair
Control your breathing
Limit your air
You'll beg for death
Upon his lips
Only so that his
Could be your final kiss
You'll miss and ache
The moment you part
The soreness, the sweetest
Memory
And your heart?!
Will never again be
Even slightly yours
And you will long
To stay forever heartless
As long as it meant
You belonged to him
Eternally
Though it may just be
For a moment
A second
His......

©MV (drafting)

It was start of March
The beginning of rains
I was on top of him
****
Blankets around my waist
******* exposed
His taste
Still sweet
Inside my cheeks

We were talking
In the midst of it all
We were laughing
And joking
And play fighting

I was in love with him.....

I giggled against his lips
And he pulled the blankets up
Over our heads
Dark and so hot
We could almost lose our breath

He kissed me slow
His fist in my hair
He tugged me up
And then
He whispered in my ear
"I ******* love you"
I let out a sigh
Holding back tears
I wouldn't cry

Instead I pretended
I hadn't heard
Just to hear it again
Sure of his words

He repeated it
Then I begged him shut up
"You don't have to say it"
I felt it
Enough

I didn't want another lie
He looked me in my ******* eyes
"I know I don't have to, but I ******* do"
He said it again
"I ******* love you"

And with that
I let go
And let him catch me
"I ******* love you too"
And that's the memory
Of the night
I can say
I loved most truly
Still actually do
Though now
It's only
As stated above
A memory
Of the night
I fell .... Red

©MV

I wonder if you think of me
Do you lay in bed and drift
Do you find yourself aching for my touch,
The taste of my lips
The scent of my hair,
My skin, curve of my hips

Do you ever repeat them,
You know, those words
Do you ever pull the covers over your head
And whisper them into the darkness
Like that night,
I pretended I hadn't heard
Just so you would say them again
Which I'm sure you already know

Do you ever want to write,
To tell me you miss me so
Do you toss and turn all night
Remembering my smile
Though I had to go

Do you remember my tongue on your spine
Tracing your Dragon
Do you bite your lip, close your eyes
Do you lose yourself within thought
Of thighs and sighs,
That smirk and intense gaze
Do you ever say my name

How about when it rains,
When the winds howl,
Do you ever feel me on your skin
A soft caress of perfect sin
Does your heart do flip flops
As you try to fight its want
Listening more to head than gut
If only I knew, if I still got you hot
If you even slightly thought
Or rather, missed, a want

If I was more than just nights of passion
And singularly
If you ever felt slightly
Enamored of me...
Do you ever?
Are you now,
Hopefully....

Don't forget
Promise
Sometimes
Think of me?

©MV

Do you think it would be ok
If i pretended
This never was
That this pain
This red
This blood
That none of it ever happened
That I wasn't losing you
That this pain
Was not you slipping
Dying
Losing you...
Would it be ok
If i just sat and cried
Forgot about the love
Not knowing ifs or whys
Not trying to be selfish
Just trying to get through
You were barely
Even there
And now
I'm losing you
Sitting
Feeling
Knowing
Nothing I can do
Wishing I had
Even for a moment
Got to see you
Your eyes
Your lips
What can I say
From forward out
Each day New
But never the same
I'll be without you
A heart beat
That only I knew
But now,
Now lost
Without you
An angel of snow
And it flurries too
Every time snow
I'll never forget you
Though I didn't know
Always
I'll love you.....

©MV

I want to capture that moment
Put it into words
And yet they aren't allowing me
Neither right rhythm, nor perfect prose
So simply, I guess, should do it fairly
And yet, not justly, I suppose
Maybe, I should try more bluntly
But a rose, is a rose??
Too bland, if I dare say so
Too, umm, casual clothes!
I want to dress it up
Gardenias,
Bows....
I want to sing of it
Crescendos,
Altos...
And yet I fail to give it life
These feelings
This love,
These sighs,
And woes
Let me try...
Just one more time...
Ok, here it goes
Your breath was mine
Your palm upon my heart
Fingers trailing my every curve...
That devilish smirk
Whispered lies
Ok truths....if you say so!
Chills and sweat,
"Keep kissing me"
The warmth of your skin
And socked, yet ice cold toes
Is this how I should begin?
I give up...
It's not of words
For they can never describe
That look in your eyes
That feeling of wanting
That breathy, moaned Oh....
That vibration and pull
Of lovers' hearts
That starfucked
Dance of souls........

I tried most truly
And failed its beauty
Though said, it has been captured
And written of
All fools,
I now see
For if it was like ours
Mere poetry
Would never capture the passion
The craze
The heavenly hell
So tenderly
Pen is unworthy
Of This,
I now know.....

©MV

Sweet winter night envelope me...
numb my heart to rest.....
share with me your deepest dark,
pour black upon my chest...
Penetrate with bite and frost
and quick my lungs suppress....
leave me helpless, heaving, panting...
steal away my breath...
Replace my blood with water iced
and when tears, inevitably flow...
Icicles I'll weep and cry..
then shower me in snow...
seal lids and lips, and butterflies
turn snowflakes
as I drift.....
kiss my face with blue and gray and hints of fog and mist...
dizzy me in swirls of flurries
and as my soul does stray,
leave me with his memory
till I forever fade away!  

©MV

In the company of poets
one can never rest....
Unless of course we stop our hearts....
Dead....
Upon a lover's chest!  

©MV

I'll fill a book with thoughts of you
Yes another,
Book number two
But not of musings this time though
More direct
A book to know
How much, I......
Well you already know
But what if tomorrow
I'm gone
And so ....
Atleast this way
When you read
I hope my voice will take the lead
And read for you
Just how I feel
Or felt
In case I disappear
You'll always have a part of me
In story, song or poetry
I'll leave for you eternity
Of star ****** lovers and
Certainly
A love of passion
And most importantly

Of the us, that never was....

©MV

I came across my reflection....

The marks you left
Had faded
And no matter how hard I stared,
Or how much I blinked,
I could not make the stain
Of your lips
Reappear.....

And so,
I touched myself
Just there,
But didn't flinch,
Could not feel the ache of your bite,
Your kiss....
Nothing but a ghost
Haunting my skin...
Teasing me with chills,
Reminiscent of your tongue.....

You were missing...

I was missing you....

©MV

The job of a muse isn't easy
He has to keep me alive
Heart beating
Yet **** me
So I can feel both
Love and misery
So I can write
In darkness
Of its beauty
To live with a broken heart
To die of love
So truly
To breathe death
Within my lungs
And know fragments
Pieced
Are purely

Poetry....

©MV

And I'll write myself
Asleep with you
If only for it to be true
Upon the pages
Of this book
Forever written for all eternity

©MV

I'm livid with you Sandman...
You tease and taunt too much...
You let me rest upon his heart
Then wake me with a ******...
Never enough dreaming
You only sprinkle sand...
An hour is mere seconds
You surely understand
And yet you show no sympathy
No slowing down with sleep
And so I'm meant to be satisfied
With blurred, fast forwards,
Of his heat....
No, no Sandman
It's not enough
I'm happy there, you see
I'd rather be in dreamland
Idealistic reality
Lost within his arms
Twisted in his sheets
Sighs, our only language
Never a need to sleep
Never a need to stifle
Emotions, wants, needs
Never a need to question
To watch the clock
To leave
And yet it always ends
And I wake to chirping birds
Never knowing such a hate
Hate, not a strong enough word
For I try so hard, with haste
To fall back into your world
But I'm lost without direction
Wrong turns and insecure
Sandman, I do loathe you..
Your work is 10%
Never am I impressed
I'm always longing for your best
Awake, awake
I'm done with you....
You bring me back to him!!!
Awake, my heart's without him
Weeks before I'm his...
Pray, take me there, I beg you...
I'll settle on blurred heat
Just lay me in his arms
His kiss and tongue, so sweet...
Pray take me there and leave me
A moment longer, please this time
Enough to wake and make it through
Till the next time he is mine.....
Till the next time in reality
I can trail chest with fingertips....
And lose myself upon the edge of dream
And....hmmm...
Wait Sandman, I apologize
I only saw it now
Reality is dreaming
Dreaming is the how....
For am I not dreaming
When in his arms I'm found,
drifting into sleep....
Softly snoring on his chest...
Oh my, my sweet sweet Sandman
You simply are the best....
Not only do you allow me dreams
You grant them whilst I'm awake
You let me relive memory
And that is why I wake
So that I may feel them really
So I may of them taste
So I may sleep most peacefully
I'm sorry I used hate...
Drift, I'm dowsing Sandman
Rambling through this weight
Of heavy lids and eyelashes
This sleep that calls,
He waits.......
And so I'm off because of you
Sweet sand envelope me
I realized, I thank you
Sweet slumber
All for me......

©MV

Now is forever
Was never a faith for me
When you're free,  if ever
We are free
And if I appeal to you
In some broad way
Then we will prove
That something gold can stay

Glimmering simply
Glimmering? Nay
If free we are ever
Then gold cannot stay
Cause staying is forever
And faith is by day
But by night
It is light and
Flame that we crave
So stay if by candle
For shadows remain

Are the shadows as important as the light,
In the future that we don't mention outright?

Shadows are the memories
The ones we've yet to make
Shadows are the forever
In the faith you claim to hate
No, not hate but
Never pray
Shadows are the moments of ever
When candle by breath met death
And took my breath away
So yes
Think not of light
But what is left
In darkness and your lingering
Breath

We do cling to this breath
But why I cannot say
Being neither the mind's heaven or hell
I know little of shadows
I only live by them
And once over then forever over?
Then while we live, we'll live in clover
For when we die we die all over

To wake again by candle's flame
For that's the nature of this game
To love and lust
And linger here
In shadow's breath
And tangled hair
In clover fields and bales of hay
Lovers always, never stray
Ever always
Though they go
Back together
It's all they know
And so my love of little faith
Of never forever
And doubting place
Gold though it glimmers
Dulls with age
But broad
Your appealing memory
Stains
My heart and my mind
My soul does so claim
This glorious reason for angels
Insane
Hell and its fire
Your mouth is my rain
Kiss me
And ever
Forever
Proclaim.....

A collaboration with the lovely
                Joseph Paris
© (stanza 2,4,6)MV
© (stanza 1,3,5)JP

The truth and compassion is barely hidden behind the glint in his eyes..
The kindness is concealed in the strength of his embrace..
The love multiplies with the simple caress of his hand on the body..

And yet I'm drawn back to his face
The emotion saw raw
I want to reach out to him
Letting him know
It's ok to let me in
To drown in the hollow
Of my breast
To allow me his tender rest
His hair carressed upon
My pounding heart
He plays the role of in control
But I'd have him fall apart
To let me in through crevices
Where once was stone
His heart ......

A collaboration with Tara Cook

©TC (1)
©MV(2)

I need a word
A word that means
More than
Miss
A word that shows
Need
Want
For a touch
A kiss
A word that can bring
Pain to life
And drive mind
Insane
I need a word
To snow and rain
A word more than
Distraught
Or die
I need a word
To dramatize
The ache
The murmur
The treachery
Of a beating heart
With memories
That I have yet
To silence
Forget
That I cannot
But weep
And let
Devour me
And keep my sleep
I need a word
Of ice and heat
Of marks
Upon his
Caramel skin
Scratches
Bite marks
Lend to pen
A word
Ye fairies
Of misery
Lend me a word
So I can see
The agony
Stained
Upon a page
Away from me
And lent to stage
A story
Play
Within
A book
Lend me word
So I may look
Outside myself
And free
Of me
Lend me word
Of Missing
He
Of broken
Jagged
Crooked lies
Lend me word
And lullabies
To end this
Ache inside my chest
Upon with pleasure
He did rest
Oh fates,  
Starfucked
And blatantly
Without
A word
Or ink
Or me...

Nothing
Invisible
Nothing will suffice
And so I end
Without words
Without ......

Goodnight........

MV

And I can't sleep
And I shouldn't write
But my heart's all wrong
And my head ain't right

And I struggle with
Shouldn'ts
With did you ?
And can'ts

I struggle with
Trying
To be more
Than I am

To give you less of my heart
And just
Physically
Try to lie
Through telling eyes
That this isn't
More to me

But you already know
And it's hypocrisy
Being real
While trying to hide
The caught up
Part of me

So I drown tonight
Listening to the echo
Of a moment
Taken back
And the darkness
That screams
Piercing in waves
Through the silence
Of night

Breaking I cry
But I'll be alright
You took it back
Regret
Understood
Suffocating
Trying to breathe
But it's hard cause I'm aching
And chest pains
Got me believing
I'll die
So I'll swallow this pill
**** it
Get high
Fall asleep thinking
Under blankets
Instead
Of that moment
That realness
Not in my head
But real
Such an *******
You can't take it away
I ******* love you
You gave it away
Willingly
And so it'll always be mine
Pretend What you will
But I won't lose my mind
I'll just sleep
Ever knowing
I was a beat
Of your heart
And you loved me
Sad
Slow
Falling Asleep.....

©MV