I miss you
You ******* know I do
But what good is missing
When you're not missing me too

You weren't mine
I knew that much
But you told me you loved me
And I connected your touch
To emotions
And realness
But it was all lies
Now you're caught up
In krystals
And milky white thighs
She's not even pretty
She doesn't love you
But it's all about *****
And I ******* knew it too

I'm ranting forgive me
But I'm missing you so
The fact that it's over
And I've let go
No
I won't be returning
This time I'm done
I can't be up at night
Yearning
While you're out having fun
Ignoring
My need for you
My hoping for some
Of your attention
Your kisses
But I'm not the one....

******* all *******
Lover, you see
Was a ******* pretend word
That meant down to **** me
To feed me your false words
To make me believe
I was exclusive
You were a thief
Stealing my heart, the very essence of me
Leaving me dead
In an ocean of see
See you with her
See you without me
See you enjoying
See you ******* free
See you forgetting
Every curve every shape
Every moonlight
Every midnight and hate
Hate that it's easy
That it was pretend
Hate that I'm writing
It doesn't seem to want
To end

Type type
Finger to screen
Broken
Shattered
Wanting only to scream
**** it
A sigh
Putting it down
All that's left
Always
The tears of this clown...........

© MV

I'm not pro specific races...
White, black, red
Means nothing to me
I'm pro love, life, peace
Humanity
I'm done with the negativity
Standing up
Only to be what you claim
Your against
Coming off the same
Racist
Discriminatory
And simply
Unknowingly
Adding more fuel
To hate
And giving more power
To minority
Oppression
And poverty
No
Enough of this stupudity
Humanity is the majority
Embrace individuality
Fight positively
And bring up
Your enemies
Blood drips red
On every color concrete
Don't feed into
Media
Sheep, you claim not
To ever be
But look at you
Following the crowd
You against me
Same opportunity
Same hood
Same class
Same bowl
We used to eat
I was the minority
And yet cloaked eyes
You speak
Come further than where
Your expected to be
Take another look
Inside
And free
Your mind from the evils
Of a hyped up personality
We are all one
One religion
One race
One humanity....

I'm done ....

©MV (drops mic)

Before they seal the coffin shut
Let me memorize his face
Touch his skin just one last time
Trace his silk, navy tie
Let me my memory
Leave behind
That I never
Said goodbye
Nor I love you
Just one more time
Wait a moment
Please
A little more time

The stuffed TY (beside your head)
A duck from me
I'll always remember
It was ET
Duffus, Wrestling and **** Thead
How can I forget?
Mike Myers, Freddy and the 13th
Gremlins, trolls and in between
A Weird Al song
And gasoline
We set the world on fire

We skated ice
And ran in rain
In underwear
One in the same
Skateboards
Superman
And Choo choo trains
Fights
You were a liar

My brother
Peeing in apple juice bottles
Talking to rice krispies
Milk in hair
My best friend
Firecrackers
Sling shots
Everywhere
Even apart
Not far behind
Wait a moment longer
I can't leave him
He's mine

I'm crying
Holding on
Like those moments
On the red carpet stairs
Chubby cheeks
Wet eyes
Mohawks and double dares
Pretending we didn't care
But we cried
At each goodbye
Why? Why?
No....
I don't want to let go...
Don't shut it yet
No....
It's too dark inside...
Please please
Open your eyes
I have to be dreaming
Come back to life

Shattered and screaming
The coffin is closed
They're holding me
Spinning out of control
Too young, too soon
The good always go
But I wasn't ready
It just can't be so...

A blurred ride and rain
As they lower you
Slow
Goodbye
What's goodbye?
I want hello
I'll never forget
12 years or so
I swear it was yesterday
Still can't finish...
Still won't.....No!!

©MV

And so with sigh and parted sorrows
She lay her head to rest
She focused on the ifs of morrow
And the bes of best
She drifted slowly
Swirling light
And arrived upon the gate
Of dreams and mares of midnight horrors
Of karmic, destined, fate
She followed through in laughing fear
And soon upon a twist
She allowed herself the gift of gods
And took upon the risk
To control the final outcome
To make it go her way
To realize her worth
To simply, cease the day
A pinch as she awakened
More than just from sleep
A part of her own being
Lost within each weep
Dreamt dream, now faded memory
Dawn's light throughtout her sky
A second chance at yesterday
A tear and silent Bye!

©MV

I blame my fingers
More than my heart
It speaks silently
While fingers
Loudly shout
On pages and on smartphone screens
Typing out
What my heart has tried
To keep
Under secrecy
Tearing me apart
Ripped sheets
As I push upon their mercy
No writing
No typing
No
But once it settles
Heart at steady
Fingers
Stab and jab
And so
They write
They question
They put into play
Heart
Attacks
Slows
Worries
Replays
And braces itself
For the come what mays
The consequences
Of heart betrayed
By finger stains.....

©MV

Music loud
Steamed shower doors
Drowning out
His memory
Eyes open
I don't want to be
In the darkness
Where he told me
He ******* loved me
No I don't want
The replay
But songs aren't helping
"Say something"
I've given up
Steamed shower doors
Heart stains ****
Mildew
Left behind
A memory
And I
Can't help but force my eyes
Blind to the reality

That I'm without you.....

©MV

She wanted his arms
His breath in her ear
She wanted his heartbeat
To disappear
She longed for twilight
Hated the dawn
Missed him in moments
Far away for too long
Her heart ached
She reached out
But nothing to say
She faded still hoping
He'd light up her day
But walls kept him guarded
To proud to say hey
I miss you too
But likes are ok
Silent words...

©MV

Poetry.....

Stitching your heart together
On paper
Smearing blood
Upon crisp white
Sheets
Swirling images of life
With raw
Stained fingertips
Dying
To feel its beat...

Poetry.....

©MV

I feel the need
To type hello
To ask if you want company
I feel the need
To keep it short
To slightly tease
To arouse your curiosity
I feel the need
To shave my legs
To cutely dress
To match my bra to my *******
I feel the need
To ready myself
For an answer
I've yet to receive
I feel the need
To hope
That you'll finally
See me
I feel the need
To sleep
Because you never reply
Why can't I be the guy?
Why can't I just ignore...
Not feeling the need
To adore
To miss or to love
Why can't I just feel the need
To give up?
Why can't I give less of me?
Why can't I feel the need for more?
Alas, I'm bound to this heart....
I feel the need
To rip it out of my chest
To allow myself rest
To fall apart......

©MV

No more writing....
No more wishing on paper...
No more words forming spells.....
No more hoping for life
    To live upon pages....
No more blood from ink wells....
No more dreams of memories...
No more laughs turnt lols....
No more questions or uncertainties...
No more twilights or heavenly hell...
No more begging for beating hearts..
No more bleeding hearts as well...
No more foolish romantic...
No more shadows or shutters or fell....
No more reasons to continue...
No more silent breathy heat...
No more I pray forever
    Grant me eternal sleep...
For the more I type of never
   The more I know defeat
No more I type
    But ever, is what I pray, repeat....
Change each no, to ever more,
   Then read again
      Repeat
And allow me darkness
   From your tongue
     Drift fast
As fall.....I sleep.....

©MV

I need a moment with my muse....
I need shadows in candlelight...
I need a "You're so ******* beautiful"...
To feel it, for a night.....
I need the pain as he bites me...
The taste of blood within my lips...
Only to be soothed by the gentle way
He slows his every kiss...
I need his searching fingers
And his lip stains on my skin
I need his cross upon my tongue
I need to relish in his sin....
I need a moment with my muse...
I'm dying fast inside
It seems without his smirk
I'm more dead than I'm alive
Just a few slow
Long hours
I swear,
I can't think
To even write.....

Unless it is about him
Then that's all there is
All night
Writing of my longing
Writing of this want
Writing to forget him
Though with writing
Not forgot
I swear
A tiny moment
So I can shut my eyes
Paralyzed upon his heart
Warm against his thighs
I just want to inhale him
A little piece of him
So that I may live a tad bit longer
To write of him again....
Though, I'm tired of writing missings
I rather write of memories
Newer and not old ones
They're fading
Don't you see....
I'm starting to diminish
My luster,
Getting dull
I need a moment with my muse
I need a moment to feel whole

Within his arms
To taste him
I'm a ranting
Lunatic
Moons and mainly midnights
Do drive me to be sick
Without him I am aching
A moment only
Please
Begging
Not an issue
I'm happy on my knees
Praying for his pleasure
Pleasing to be his
Simply
All I really need
Is a moment
That never ends.......

©MV (scribbling)

It was all in her head
She closed her eyes
Tears
Lies....

He hadn't just said
I ******* love you
He had also said
I know I don't have to
But I do
I ******* love you
He even asked her if she heard
And now ?!.....

Now, all regrets
Taking back words
He even liked poetry
That stated the same
Words said but not said
And falling
Insane....

It was too weird
But he kept her love notes
Asking for letters
Emotions she wrote
Now it was
I shouldn't of
I don't love you....

******* all *******
And he knew it too
But what could she do now?
What could she say?
So she fought back the tears
Pushed memory away...

She fell into her dreams
And woke to his smile
In that instance
In that moment
He was hers
He loved her
And love was ours....

Hours of dreams
And she wished for her death
Darkness his arms
And his kisses
All left
Only in dreams
As she, sadly,
woke again
This time

Nothing left....
All alone....

©MV

Now is forever
Was never a faith for me
When you're free,  if ever
We are free
And if I appeal to you
In some broad way
Then we will prove
That something gold can stay

Glimmering simply
Glimmering? Nay
If free we are ever
Then gold cannot stay
Cause staying is forever
And faith is by day
But by night
It is light and
Flame that we crave
So stay if by candle
For shadows remain

Are the shadows as important as the light,
In the future that we don't mention outright?

Shadows are the memories
The ones we've yet to make
Shadows are the forever
In the faith you claim to hate
No, not hate but
Never pray
Shadows are the moments of ever
When candle by breath met death
And took my breath away
So yes
Think not of light
But what is left
In darkness and your lingering
Breath

We do cling to this breath
But why I cannot say
Being neither the mind's heaven or hell
I know little of shadows
I only live by them
And once over then forever over?
Then while we live, we'll live in clover
For when we die we die all over

To wake again by candle's flame
For that's the nature of this game
To love and lust
And linger here
In shadow's breath
And tangled hair
In clover fields and bales of hay
Lovers always, never stray
Ever always
Though they go
Back together
It's all they know
And so my love of little faith
Of never forever
And doubting place
Gold though it glimmers
Dulls with age
But broad
Your appealing memory
Stains
My heart and my mind
My soul does so claim
This glorious reason for angels
Insane
Hell and its fire
Your mouth is my rain
Kiss me
And ever
Forever
Proclaim.....

A collaboration with the lovely
                Joseph Paris
© (stanza 2,4,6)MV
© (stanza 1,3,5)JP

The truth and compassion is barely hidden behind the glint in his eyes..
The kindness is concealed in the strength of his embrace..
The love multiplies with the simple caress of his hand on the body..

And yet I'm drawn back to his face
The emotion saw raw
I want to reach out to him
Letting him know
It's ok to let me in
To drown in the hollow
Of my breast
To allow me his tender rest
His hair carressed upon
My pounding heart
He plays the role of in control
But I'd have him fall apart
To let me in through crevices
Where once was stone
His heart ......

A collaboration with Tara Cook

©TC (1)
©MV(2)

I need a word
A word that means
More than
Miss
A word that shows
Need
Want
For a touch
A kiss
A word that can bring
Pain to life
And drive mind
Insane
I need a word
To snow and rain
A word more than
Distraught
Or die
I need a word
To dramatize
The ache
The murmur
The treachery
Of a beating heart
With memories
That I have yet
To silence
Forget
That I cannot
But weep
And let
Devour me
And keep my sleep
I need a word
Of ice and heat
Of marks
Upon his
Caramel skin
Scratches
Bite marks
Lend to pen
A word
Ye fairies
Of misery
Lend me a word
So I can see
The agony
Stained
Upon a page
Away from me
And lent to stage
A story
Play
Within
A book
Lend me word
So I may look
Outside myself
And free
Of me
Lend me word
Of Missing
He
Of broken
Jagged
Crooked lies
Lend me word
And lullabies
To end this
Ache inside my chest
Upon with pleasure
He did rest
Oh fates,  
Starfucked
And blatantly
Without
A word
Or ink
Or me...

Nothing
Invisible
Nothing will suffice
And so I end
Without words
Without ......

Goodnight........

MV

And I can't sleep
And I shouldn't write
But my heart's all wrong
And my head ain't right

And I struggle with
Shouldn'ts
With did you ?
And can'ts

I struggle with
Trying
To be more
Than I am

To give you less of my heart
And just
Physically
Try to lie
Through telling eyes
That this isn't
More to me

But you already know
And it's hypocrisy
Being real
While trying to hide
The caught up
Part of me

So I drown tonight
Listening to the echo
Of a moment
Taken back
And the darkness
That screams
Piercing in waves
Through the silence
Of night

Breaking I cry
But I'll be alright
You took it back
Regret
Understood
Suffocating
Trying to breathe
But it's hard cause I'm aching
And chest pains
Got me believing
I'll die
So I'll swallow this pill
**** it
Get high
Fall asleep thinking
Under blankets
Instead
Of that moment
That realness
Not in my head
But real
Such an *******
You can't take it away
I ******* love you
You gave it away
Willingly
And so it'll always be mine
Pretend What you will
But I won't lose my mind
I'll just sleep
Ever knowing
I was a beat
Of your heart
And you loved me
Sad
Slow
Falling Asleep.....

©MV