The scars will not go away.
They will itch.
Your scars will feel like someone is grinding glass in them.
The numb parts will stay numb.
They hurt to touch.
Shaving will never be the same.
Your fingers won't work properly.
The ones you didn’t take care of get worse. Skin sags.
The scars will not go away.
Deep cuts leak.
First-aid supplies are really expensive.
The scars will not go away.
Kids will ask what happened.
People will stare.
Employers will ask if you’re mentally stable enough to hold a job.
They will get sunburnt, and stand out more.
They define every outfit you choose to wear for the rest of your life.
They are the reason *** with the lights off is the only *** you’ll ever have.
The scars will not go away.
You never get used to seeing them,
But you never forget they are there.
People touch you and you flinch. Don’t touch me there, there, there or there.
You will feel disgusting, disgusting, disgusting for the rest of your life.
The scars do not go away.
They do not go away.
They will not go away.

to the self harmer holding the blade, wanting nothing more but for it to kiss flesh, know that you've been days clean and you don't deserve another scar.

to the self harmer digging your nails into your thigh after a fight with your parents, know that this storm will pass.

to the self harmer shaking as you bury countless blades in the dirt, know that you've never been as strong as you are now.

to the self harmer hiding deep under your skin, know that your scars are nothing more than a reminder that you're still alive.

to the self harmer rocking the realest smile you have had in weeks, you made it.

People that don't self harm
Don't seem to understand it.
But I don't expect them to.

First, it hurts, A LOT.
It hurts when you first do it
And it hurts the next day.
It hurts when your long sleeves rub against it
And it hurts when you look at what you did.

Next, cuts bleed, A LOT.
At first they don't bleed,
You start cutting deeper,
Then they bleed, a lot.
It doesn't stop bleeding.

Please don't tell me to just stop.
I can't just stop.
It's so addicting.
Even though I want to stop,
I can't.

It starts out as you control it,
But then it ends up controlling you.
You want to wear short sleeves?
Think again, you can't.
You want to go swimming with friends?
Oh yeah, they'll probably think you're crazy.

Every time you do it one more time,
It becomes more and more addicting.
Just one more you think, but no.
This is the last time, but it's not.
You can't just stop.

I don't mean to hurt the people around me.
In that moment, all I can think about is
Hurting myself.
I'm sorry for hurting everyone else
While I'm hurting myself.

It takes many reasons to recover but one to relapse.

At one moment, your depression is telling you that you don't care what happens. Then the next moment, your anxiety is screaming and clawing at you to do something. Having depression and anxiety is a constant war inside of yourself. Though, there are no winners.

rough ribbons chafing already irritated skin,
sleeves made just long enough to hide what i don't want you to see

A message to the people who pretends,
The guy on the bus, and the lady next to me,
Last time I talked about depression,
Do you really know?

How it feels that something nonexisting
Eats you up and fills you with guilt?
How every waking moment is a painful reminder,
Of what have come and gone

Of every rejection and disdain,
Of every scorn and contempt,
Of every single word cutting like knives
The blood inside rolling down bare skin,

Do you really know?
The terrible tragedies my eyes have seen,
The constant rings of dead sounds in my ears,
And the memories replaying over and over,

And over and over and over
Like an endless sea of perpetual agony
Like the putrid breath unable to come off
It sticks like a velcro on glue.

Nowhere near have you seen
Nowhere near have you heard
Nowhere near have you experienced
The metallic taste of depression and the fear...

Of every friend and family dying
Of every rejection and frustration
Of everything in this whole ugly
Twisted and convoluted world

Do you really know?

self harm takes many forms
from wrist lined in white
to burns on thighs

but i learned
it's much more than that
it's holding everything in
it's those negative thoughts i think
it's when I bite my inner lip
to remind myself that
any day,
i could decide i don't want to live

self harm is
so much more
than those white lines
or burn marks.

-r.y.s