Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Alice Baker Jun 2013
Annoyance scratches at the back of my brain
All the things you say the way that they sound
Is disgusting
And beautiful
And I hate it.
The planned patience of every single word
Sounds pretentious and assuming.
I can't stand it.
I can't stand you.
Alice Baker May 2013
its funny how a comment on a picture
can make you feel insignificant
how a significant other can look at someone else
the way they looked at you
and waves of jealousy strike
waves of inadequacy
Alice Baker Oct 2015
He drenched everything in poison
From his kisses
To the words spilling out of his mouth
Everything he did was painted in
Blurry, muted, pixels
His life was a loop
Work, pills, drink
I never mattered.
**** love
Alice Baker Apr 2014
"I'm sorry" leaves my lips
More than "you're welcome"
Or "thank you"

It sits upon my shoulders
Weighing me down
A grief to drag on

It interrupts my thoughts
Pierces my points
Makes a mockery of me.

Yet I can't let it go
It keeps slipping out
"I'm sorry"

Every thought I have
Is a regret
A sin

Every action I take
Is a mistake
A joke

How can I ever be me
When all I can say is
"I'm sorry"

"For what"
They say
"For existing"

I'm sorry.
Alice Baker Dec 2013
We're broken with intent.

Calculated cuts run down our spines.

We're starving, for attention.

'Cause smiles cost more than a fortune here, babe.

Better take what you can and, run.
Alice Baker Apr 2013
Let's take a few steps back
And look at where we've been
Torn and out in the gutter
Rain pounding on our backs

Now take a few steps forward
And look at where we've come
To stand amongst people
Who will never know our names.
Alice Baker Mar 2021
Dear self,
Tonight is hard.  
You are being flooded
By intrusive memories,
And your mind is muddled
With self doubt and destruction.
Vices beckon
Like skeletons dressed as old friends
And the emotional scars
Sting just as much as the physical ones.

Sweet girl,
You are tracing old marks
In your skin
Please
Do not repave them.
Remember all the times like these?
Consumed by darkness that
Eclipses the sun itself.
How many times have you crawled out
Of the trenches?

My darling dear,
Do not doubt your resilience.
We both know that
Tomorrow will come
And while I cannot promise it
Will be brighter,
It will still be new.
Today I logged on for the first time in nearly 3 years. I’ve been going through an incredibly difficult time lately, and I stumbled across a piece I wrote in 2016 titled “Something New” I’m so grateful I did, as it brought on the motivation to write again for the first time in what feels like forever.

This is the revised version, 5 years later. I made it a new post because I feel I am a different person today, and I wanted to have a record of my progress.

Thank you for reading, here’s the link to the original:
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1569459/something-new/
Alice Baker Sep 2015
Mulling over excuses to talk to you
It pains me to realize
That I can no longer
Call your name
Just to say



I miss you
I love you
I want you



But I do
Alice Baker Apr 2014
Your worth is not in others eyes
Or on the tip of their tongue
It's not in your wallet
Nor the clothing on your back

Your wisdom is not given out
On a year to year basis
Perhaps the simple thoughts
Of a toddler
Are wiser than
Those of a middle aged business man.
Words I wish I could live by. It's funny how we are able to write out our ideals but have such a hard time following them
Alice Baker Mar 2013
Promise me you'll never leave me
Promise me you mean what you say
Promise me the skies will clear.
Can you do that?
Can you love me like that?
Because I never could.
This was written a loooooonnnng time ago. I'm okay now.
Alice Baker Apr 2016
WHEN YOU HAVE POETRY BUT YOU'RE FREAKING TYPING IT AND YOU HIT UNDO ON ACCIDENT AND IT JUST DISAPPEARS AND YOU'RE SITTING THERE LIKE "WHAT WERE/WHERE ARE MY WORDS" AND I JUST CANT UGH NO
AND YOUR REDO BUTTON ISNT FREAKING WORKING LORD JESUS UGH PLEASE NO
Alice Baker Jan 2014
I deserve to burn in the hell I've caused

I'll taste the ashes of the burnt ground

Curl my toes in charcoal

I painted everything in black.
Alice Baker Dec 2014
It's 12 pm, your hollow voice calls
A resounding echo in my head
Of muddled clouds
On a perfect day
Alice Baker Apr 2013
I am not who
I am what

And I resent that

I am not yours
I am theirs

I wish you'd recognize that

And I cannot be held anymore
In such a pedestal

The display is cracking
The flaws are through.
Alice Baker Sep 2013
She smiles coyly,
Playing with her wild tangly mane.

She ***** her head to the side,
Scoots a little closer and says:

"I'd like to think that I tend to trip more people
Than I fall for."
Part one if a series I'm doing on a character to be named.
Alice Baker Jul 2018
Is it weird that I still think of you?

Its been nearly 3 years since we last spoke.

I only knew you for 1 year and 2 months.

But, when I think of everything we went through.

When I think of all the lessons we both learned, how hard so many of them were, how long it took to heal from them...

It’s hard not to wonder if you think of me too.

I don’t miss you anymore, I havent for a long time.

But I wonder.
Heres to an ex i will never speak to, and will always care about. Im sorry we crashed and burned the way we did.
Alice Baker Jan 2016
I fold myself into a billion pieces
So that they will not see the gaps
That pierce my soul
I am an eclipsed moon
On a cloudy night
Alice Baker Sep 2013
I'm getting lost on purpose.
Going down the bad roads,
Looking out for no one not even myself

I'm sick of this place, there's too much
That already has a tie.
I need something free.

I figure ill **** up a little more,
Maybe find myself in the reflection
Of some gas station mirror in the middle of no where.

I think I'm destined to be happy
Just not today
And not here.
Alice Baker Dec 2015
Did you really mean it?
When you said we'd never speak again?
I don't know if I want
To hear your side
But I definitely want
To hear your voice
This probably comes off the wrong way but whatever
Alice Baker Sep 2015
Leave me alone please
I can't handle
Any more of
This broken record
Of your voice
Playing in my head
You have stained
My thoughts
And my words
I want you out


But I also want you back
Alice Baker Dec 2015
I just want another chance
To grow up
My mind is stirring with the
False hopes of childhood
My pockets are empty
And my soul is tired
They say I still have far to go
But how much further can it be?
I keep slipping on the same slopes
Don't give me lectures
Give me peace

— The End —