Don't worry, spiders,
I keep house
casually.

(read forward, then backward, line by line)

I ran.
Not knowing what else to do
There was so much blood on my hands
It was mine
The kitchen knife
Caught in my chest
Guilt
Consumed by
Fear
I was heightened by
Adrenaline
But running on
Wasn’t enough
While trying to stay calm,
Losing control
It was me that would end up
Dead. Because
He was
In front of me
The whole time
It was too late
Trapped
I found myself
Locked in chains
My fate was
Death.

Hashtag my soul away, so many can see it
I’m waving my hands saying hey look at me
Posting pics, statuses and videos
Can’t do it quietly
I want them all to See
Envy me and make me their fantasy
A few likes on this post is not enough
I deserve to get liked like I’m roylaty
adore me while you stare at the pictures
I spent hours cropping, adding more filters to guard my insecurities
Before I hashtag it, I dress it with perfection
Cut out any ugliness, clean up the mess
Show the world purity
because if they see the negative
their words will expose my insecurities
Behind this screen I found a secured me
That is the side I only want them to see
So I hastag popular tags so they can all see
The better side of me

One.
I am broken
fully shattered by myself and others,
trying to pick up the puzzle pieces
I’ve been left to find.
Worn into a two edged sword
that has cut my skin and left me unloveable.

Two.
Some days it will seem like I am cured.
I will look whole,
as if a miracle came from heaven
and fixed my aching skin
and wrapped me up in something that will never happen.
I will seem okay as if everything before was just a phase,
but I need you to know that tomorrow
I will be me again.
Jagged lines drawn across rainy skies
that never quite made a connection.

Three.
I am trying.
Can’t you see from the bags under my eyes
that this is eating me alive?
I was two steps from Hell,
but now I am four,
trying to dig my way back to sanity.
There is peace in giving up,
but I have opted for chaos.

R.I.P.
An acronym.
Rest in peace.
But it stands for more:
A rip of the heart,
The tear of someone
From the earth,
The shredding of
An entire lifetime.
But we must learn,
Eventually,
To let our loss
Rest in peace.

Wolf-pup, small and innocent
Loud noises make her jump
and whimper
Her teeth are barely sharp,
her growl high pitched and weak

Wolf-pup snuggles tightly against the members of the pack
scared and tired
and cold

Wolf stands tall, eyes dark
ready to pounce
teeth sharp, ready to tear through flesh
growl strong, loud and pulsates through the ground

the wolf-pup is the alpha now

Hate myself for never being enough
I can't figure out how to succeed
Shelf I keep aspirations on is too high
I am nothing but a servant to incessant need

Another person expecting too much
Honestly that is what's keeping me down
Tired, I write these words
Disappointment pinning me to ground

Don't know how to be different
There is something holding me back
Can't quite pinpoint what is missing
But I sense it's something big I lack

I'm sorry if I mess up
I can't keep my mouth shut

and I've considered cutting off my tongue

I say all the wrong things
more than I've said good things

I want to turn away
and runaway

from all the hurtful words I've spilled
to you
and myself

I won't be able to stay

I want to go away

please stop calling me

I only make things worse
I'm always at a distance

in silence, I give my best advice

I want to turn away
go away

I never stay

holding all the things I want to say