Keep on running,
Keep on running they say,
around the dirt path

Keep on running,
As I see 3 of them my age
Getting put in an ambulance
their breath being provided by a mask
The scared look on their faces
Scares me.

Keep on running,
Even though my legs are shaking
And my breath is quaking, difficult to catch
Others have already fallen

Keep on running,
Even when I’m pushed around by more desperate runners
even when I loose my footing, I can't fail anyone else

Keep on running,
The pain in my entire body
slightly diminishes from the muffled cheers of the onlookers

Keep on running,
As I cross the finish line I trip and scrape myself on the concrete-like dirt
Proud of myself
But they all point to me, yelling
bringing my attention back to the race,
It had only been the first lap

Keep on running,
keep on running they say,
but is it worth it?

All these people
All these stressful situations
It’s not my fault that I’m awkward
It’s not my fault I don’t always say funny things,
Have good comebacks.
So why is it that everyone around
Carelessly cast upon me their true opinion?
Maybe a little too true.
Every laugh
And silent whispering
Not so very silent
Ring loudly in my ears, in my heart
It all trails behind me, all my decisions dictated by the preferences of others
Harshly driving me into paranoia,
A cacophony of sorts
Sinking my mind, my soul,
Into a pit of insanity
To the point where I myself join in the slandering
And aspersing of my own being
In order to make it all stop. just for a second.
So I can please all those around
And calm my paranoia down
While shoving my true feelings down my throat.
The only thing getting me through it,
Telling myself it’s not. my. fault.

What am I doing?

Destruction
Between my heart
And head
Because they often fight
Both thinking they’re right
This internal war
Doesn’t let me sleep
In spite of all the white noise, and teas
Keeping me up, reminding me of everything
All my worries
All the decisions I have to choose between,
Until I decide not to make one
At all
But even then,
I. Can’t. Stop.

To what degree will you let the hurt reach? It's in your control after all.

Will you finally trust in yourself, to stand up on your own?

Break down, and sob yourself to sleep if you have to

But when the sunrise comes up once more, maybe it'll be time for you to turn over a new leaf

And explore life past pain.

Unknowingly,
You are taking the time and effort
To read what others make.
A big step in making writers feel proud
That someone read their work.
Unknowingly, your spreading joy
To the hearts of new, or old, poets

Some say love is not but false

Others say they’ve felt it twice

That even through its faults it remains a gift to life

If I were to choose, I’d see it through

In hopes I might feel it too

That sweet and nourishing touch from someone who cares enough to love

For those who opt to not, in the end is also fine

And wouldn’t rot their chances if their unloving phase subsides

If truly they start, and become open to change

Then with clearer eyes, bad habits they must break

For love is a hurricane, a life changing phase, If you let it be.

¶
Your smile and touch; might just be a thoughtless moment
   But is what painted my sky
What has drawn my trees
   And grown my grass
To make my world.
    You might just be one letter
   In an infinitely long book
But without you; how could any of the chapters
   Make sense?
¶

We strive for something more,
Peace,
That let’s us feel relief and content
But to feel that relief
There needs to be something..
Unpolished, impossible
In your life
To make the perfect moments;
Perfect

Crack crack, you hear, the lens from which you view the world fell from your ***** hands, onto the cold hard ground.
You move too late. The people walking demand for you to get out of the way. In an instance you drop, the lens out of view. Left to be stepped on by the soles on everyone’s shoes.
Without it your left to fear, a tear falls but no one sees, you surely can’t.
Again you try to grab on, your hands shake, yet you succeed. Once again you put on the blurred lens, this time more blurred and cracked, and you continue to walk until your shaking hands drop it again,
crack crack, you hear.

¶
The broken clock
Shattered on the floor
Smeared with regret
Was fixed when I entered one day
So I can move forward
Slowly
As time heals all wounds
At least that’s what they say
¶

Another day, no feeling under the sun
again, when things are done,

does it matter who was there but didn’t help?
does it matter, those people who kept to themselves?

Maybe not.

Instead I’ll look to those who accepted me, who respected me
Who loved me since the beginning

It is not until this is realized, that it makes sense in our head
that true life begins, and our envy is shed.

Then confidence proudly burns

And feeling returns, the heat from the sun.

¶

Swiftly prancing
Around the ballroom
My putrid soul
Watches,
Prowls,
****** stains
Marked on my attention grabbing
Dress
The ones who came before,
Fooled by the lust in their hearts
Now have passed
With beautiful red running down their chest
Their fullest love
Mine to claim.
And here comes 2,
No, 3 more
Wanting my
Essence
Don’t they know?
I’m here for theirs.
The muffled screaming
And desperate pleading
A little too addictive

¶

Expectations
Are a funny thing
Some, have seen you work hard, be strong
High expectations
Others, you’ve hurt, shown little effort
Low expectations
In the end both can rip you apart
Especially the expectation inside your heart
Whatever it may be,
Your life can be consumed
With the goal of reaching
An expectation.
Your life,
One huge
Expectation

A butterfly
Flying,
Soaring,
Through the maleficent garden
Not afraid like the others,
Who burrow in the ground
And choose to live on the dark side of the moon
No, instead this one chooses to see
The little star
Shining
In the darkest of voids,
A butterfly destined for the highest of trees
The most charming of buds
This light however,
Has shown too bright
Blinding the butterfly from those
Burrowed in the ground,
Who brought it to its grave, unapologetically.
A sad day, where every petal of every flower,
Would droop
Where the sky,
Blemished by its death
Would pour rain upon the soil
A time in which every member of the garden
Would yearn for another
To show them the smallest star
In the darkest of voids,
Throughout this maleficent garden.

Thunder struck, melted to the core

A bond that lasts longer than any muck fire

Even when aspiration is bound to expire

Together, we’ll remain

two wounded soldiers at war

Seems like forever ago
A dream adherent to the past

Though, not completely out of mind

Anxiety has drowned out the white noise, made everything go too fast.
What was a vast array of the world, only remains a sliver

To attempt a dance with that dream could not be so
Yet the urge to take its hand never fails,

Never ceases to make my courage seem pitiful, my self righteousness thinner.
And so it remains

A dream adherent to the past
Seems like forever ago..