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Jan 2019 · 178
pain
Tayler Jan 2019
hot sharp pain
white fire pain
a hold of me
no escape pain

nipping at my ankles pain
squeezing my heart pain
a burning sensation
piercing the dark pain

a slip through the fingers
a just out of touch
a just a little longer
enough is not enough

pain in the past
pain in the present
pain promised in the future
but pain is not forever
Dec 2018 · 202
purpose
Tayler Dec 2018
still searching for the meaning
still searching for the why
it feels like my only purpose
is to be alive
then die
Dec 2018 · 225
optimistic
Tayler Dec 2018
I am told of one way to live
I must follow through with a plan
Yet it is not my own

You must complete this
While living like that
On, but you’re not grown

Your age is just a number
When you try to make your own choices
Unless they line up with theirs

Your plan is not yours
But it is for your life
I guess it’s something we share

I thought my future
Would be my choice
But I guess that’s too optimistic
Dec 2018 · 293
promise
Tayler Dec 2018
You promised to stay
and never leave my side.
You promised to listen
and never guide me wrong.
You promised to help
and never let me fall.

You promised to love me
and never did.

Is it really a promise
if you swore to do something
you knew you never could?
Dec 2018 · 697
without
Tayler Dec 2018
I went to a party
without a date
I went to a restaurant
without a friend
I went to a reunion
without a boyfriend

who am I
without someone
am I someone
without the one

does the one feel the same
without me
Dec 2018 · 140
questions
Tayler Dec 2018
at what cost will I follow through with the plans they have for me?
if my heart longs for more, what will my choices be?
could I go against their wishes or would I be ungrateful?
should I speak my mind or watch my mouth as we gather at the table?
Dec 2018 · 585
proud
Tayler Dec 2018
their lives being reflected
is their biggest fear
what all is expected
is not my own plan

the chances they should have taken
the life they wish they had
those important hands not shaken
the goals they never met

always do what's right
always work
never cause a fight
never stop

the goal is not clear
am I living for me?
am I living in fear?
the answer screams

"I just want to make my parents proud"
I am a first generation college student, so I am forced to only see college as my only option. Even though I hate it right now, it’s still a blessing to have this education. I just want to do what my parents wish they could have.

— The End —