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Tayler Jan 2019
hot sharp pain
white fire pain
a hold of me
no escape pain

nipping at my ankles pain
squeezing my heart pain
a burning sensation
piercing the dark pain

a slip through the fingers
a just out of touch
a just a little longer
enough is not enough

pain in the past
pain in the present
pain promised in the future
but pain is not forever
Tayler Dec 2018
still searching for the meaning
still searching for the why
it feels like my only purpose
is to be alive
then die
  Dec 2018 Tayler
plat
My time has come
My performance is over
For the demons of the night
Have come over me
So I must bid you farewell
For I can no longer fight
Their ever powerful spell
I realize now that the original had the word but where bid is now, i typed this at midnight on my phone so spelling was a little out the window, thanks for all you who enjoyed it anyway
  Dec 2018 Tayler
alexa
is it bad
that i can already taste the goodbye
on your tongue?
-a.c.b
Tayler Dec 2018
I am told of one way to live
I must follow through with a plan
Yet it is not my own

You must complete this
While living like that
On, but you’re not grown

Your age is just a number
When you try to make your own choices
Unless they line up with theirs

Your plan is not yours
But it is for your life
I guess it’s something we share

I thought my future
Would be my choice
But I guess that’s too optimistic
Tayler Dec 2018
You promised to stay
and never leave my side.
You promised to listen
and never guide me wrong.
You promised to help
and never let me fall.

You promised to love me
and never did.

Is it really a promise
if you swore to do something
you knew you never could?
  Dec 2018 Tayler
Things I'll Never Say
I read a quote somewhere that said,
"I don't know how many times I have survived myself, without telling anyone else."

And I felt those words shoot through every nerve in my body. I felt them so deeply.

And I wonder how many of us feel the same way.

How many nights we fought off the suicidal thoughts, the urge to cut, the urge to purge, the urge to run or to hide out, alone, too afraid to worry or bother our friends and family.

How many days and nights have we all suffered in our own darkness alone?

People like us fight a battle no one can ever fathom because it's a battle no one can see. And we don't let them.

I've fought myself and survived myself alone so many nights.

There were nights I use to lose my own battle. But some how still came out alive.

I guess that's how we keep going. Because every time we give up we come out stronger.

You fight yourself and beat yourself up for so long that eventually you become a master of surviving a war.

We're warriors.

"I don't know how many times I've survived myself, without telling anyone else."

Tonight, I'm telling all of you.

I survived myself.

And if you're still here and you're reading this, you survived yourself too.

It's not easy but you did it.

And I'm so proud of you all.
The original quote "I dont know how many times I survived myself, without telling anyone else.", which triggered the whole poem was written by @deadwatered. A talented poet I follow on tumblr.
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