Watch stars burn out and fade...
Books corrode and gather dust...
Man made works of metal crumble and succumb to the sleep of rust.
Tomb stones uprooted and covered with moss.

Watch how even the strongest stone turns to sand....

And all it takes.....


Is time........................................

Entropy

the end of everything there is.  

The looming shadow that throws its gaze over the horizon and ushers in the final midnight of reality.

And despite knowing all this  we continue to deceive ourselves..

Filling up a bottomless cup with ambitions, dreams, friends, family, lovers, children and what have you.....

Eventually you end up burning ambition, shattering dreams, losing friends, breaking with family, hating lovers and burying your children or have them bury you....

Entropy

The final herald and bringer of the lasting silence...

when we all return to the emptiness of space and all we have know will be nothing but a loathing sigh in a vast blackness floating between cold dead stone and dust.


There used to be life on Mars, but now we only find dust... are they perhaps our predecessors? Will we end up the same?

We may never know...
what each and everyone of us knows is that the end is coming. And nothing will slow it, hinder it or stop it from closing its decaying grasp around your throat and squeeze your life out of you.

Best just waiting for the sun to finally implode and ****** us all.

And everything we did was just for nothing.

For eons untold I have watched you rise and fall. Build empires and break them. Cure diseases and be ailed by them. I have watched you commune in many religious ways… watched you slaughter for your faith. Now that the darkness has dawned, finally I have come, soaring towards you.

As the farmer brings his harvest home, the librarian pores over long forgotten a tome, whilst the piper flutes a final tone. Echoes from my insides a most peculiar and maddening drone.
Too long soils you have stained with blood, bygone your time of breeding. Your cancerous race, your viral existence… Put out of its misery soon enough.

I soar, adorned in shrouds of doom and gloom, my wings blowing frigid winds and blotting out the moon. Unseen horror, hidden in the darkest nooks of your feeble minds. The stalking predator that lurks near the sheep pen. Crypt born from the graven mounds of a long stained and rotten memory. Ancient pillars carved for me, worshiping us.

No atonement can there be for the existence of human sin. Only to rend and tear your fleshy vessels. In a nuclear chaos confounded to the self-made oblivion, the blindfold to not see, the unutterable horror that is me…

Flee…


If it makes you feel safe and sanctified. You will feel my leering gaze and gaping maw wherever you may hide. Sleep will creep upon you somehow.

Like in times of old, there are some stories they left untold. To prevent further damnation and total extinction, the worship of the gods of all creation. Floating in a sea most nebulous, blackened and foul, adrift outside of the play garden of time and space, there live things without a face.

The piping of mad flutes a harbinger of my coming, a blazing star to wipe the slate clean. Not even a faint echo will remain.
Go out while you can… Walk hand in hand into extinction as brothers and sister, opting out of a raw deal. The last midnight for the human race…

A cancerous vile growth that only thrives for our amusement…

There is a hole in my world.. A pierced, gazing woods that drips rot... I see no hope... but dead and bleeding in my arms...
I see Truth bludgeoned to death at my feet by Betrayal.
I see reality slowly tearing the flesh from her face... and glare at me in shrieking horror as i stand to lose everything that made me to the person i am today.
I stand alone... amidst a fog bank... racing the same circle, losing my anchor, flying unguided.  My Sadness comfort me... but she heals like a poison. The only cure to heal a pain is an even greater pain.. so I let Depression tear away at me. Emotion lies sickly in bed.. she grasps my hands firmly, begging me to stay but i lack the fortitude to do so whilst staring at faded photographs of all the love I lost and squandered unto people who did not deserve it.
A lake stretches before me to me it feels like an untamed ocean.. Once gentle streams flowed here.. now only coursing waves and sludge remain...
I feel drowned. I feel alone. I feel... unloved....
Cold...
Emotionally torn to shreds......
again....

I keep picking up pieces of me.. my Truth, my Love, my Hope... only to watch them die again... While i play my sadistic game further one..
This aching need to find a person who can still the itch inside me.

I feel like an abandoned child desperately searching for his parents in a long dead world.. where only a skeleton remains of what once was..
They say love doesn’t **** you...
But it sure feels a lot worse than it sounds...

I wonder how long i can keep this up...
Can i watch everything rise and fall again like a castle of sand?

Will there be enough to rebuild again?

At this moment in time...

All I can do....

Is cry myself to sleep....

And sinking further away into a silent ocean that suffocates my feelings
So that i hurt the most..

Love sickness does not **** you....

But it sure feels a lot worse than it sounds...

I found it hard to believe that it is pointless to love anyone but yourself. It makes no sense anymore. You don’t tie an anchor to your feet whilst swimming correct? You would drown... which pretty much sums up the journey of a relationship. Sailing on misty oceans, at any given time, a gigantic shark might lunge from beneath the dark surface and tear your boat to shreds. But this is not just any shark.. this thing likes to toy with food.
You see it does not tear you apart in seconds. It tears down anything you liked and loved only to smash itself into your chest and bite a hole where once your heart was. Sound like one ******* of a shark right? He has many names: envy, vanity, selfishness, fornication,..... we all know that hidden aquatic predator. We have all met it. And we will meet it again. For despite all our bumpy rides in negotiating with one another, because a relationship is a negotiation where one constantly uses veto against the other until one or both sides finally give up, we just pick ourselves up and move on again. Because it is forbidden to feel bad, it is forbidden to feel sad in this feel-good society where everyone gets a pat on the back and brushes it off. Yet sorrow is one of the purest feelings you can ever feel. It is a cathartic marriage of self consciousness and fear, making you feel vulnerable. The only moments when you really desire to be loved.. Just like the first days of a new relationship. That fear that has burned you for so long is finally cooled in soothing waves of joy and relief.. your fear subsides and makes room for this fantastic feeling that the world is your doormat.. but a gift once given will always be taken back..
Love seems pointless to me at this point... it has devolved into an accessory, like a bracelet or necklace if you will. And we are the vain creature that has more bracelets than genuine compassion. When it grows tired of the bracelet it simply tosses it away or hangs it in the rack to be forgotten and is replaced with something else. Nothing is ever good enough.
That is why mankind can only love itself.. you can never argue with yourself, you always please yourself, you always do what you really like to do... why bother ruining it with someone else? Nobody really cares for your hand me down feelings. Everything you have to give is used up by yourself first.. your grief, your joy, your laughter.... your anger.....
Nobody wants second hand gifts for his or her birthday.. we deserve only the best of the best for are we not the best? We all want that white horse *******... We want to believe that out there someone wanders this planet who can fill in for us.. but there is no such thing.. A relationship is making due with a person for who or what they are..

It used to be easier.. at some point in time a relationship was critical for survival because your vanity and prolonged suffering, also called existence, depended on the skills of the one you lived with, the perverse pleasures are just a nice bonus to make you feel good. A relationship was a vital tool for your survival which is why it was more robust... it was still just bargaining but the people made due with each other despite their quirks and flaws..

These days... everyone expects perfection chipped out of pure gold. Because no matter how far you would degrade yourself to please the other.. you are still a bracelet... ready to be tossed away at the most random of times. A lone sailor slowly drifting above a dark, unexplored abyss... who knows when some huge sea monster will just pounce you and your little hovel into the cold darkness below?

To my sadness love seems overrated.... love is mistaken for self worship... we feel like a god.. we can scorn our followers when we feel like it because what was offered were just second hand baubles.

I find love for another human to have lost the value it once had... a creature these days is only capable of loving itself.

And when it comes to love.. I have yet to find my equal...

I will remain unchallenged........
And it starts to tear at every fiber of my being....


Keep giving for sole purpose of being given......
Just no second hand feelings thank you very much.

My mind wanders upon paths untreaden for untold times. Man has forgotten its memories here, long forsaken  are the ruins of this place. Silently draped in slumber between the mountains and the glaciers lay the sanctum.

And it was within its waters, upon seeing my own reflection that a void inside had filled itself to the brim with an agonizing terror that crept into the deepest part of my creature. And i cast eyes upon the monster i had thought to have become. A dreary dark casts down its cloak on the sky and the midnight orb spreads a sickening and slowly dying glow upon my skin. The faintest smell of cinder has drawn me near to the forsaken wastes.. a search for salvation, a cure for my illness, my bane.. I had sought mine own undoing. For is it not that paradise awaits in bittersweet death? An escape from anguished life with its toils, its charades and strife. Where better to strike the hand to oneself than in the cold embrace of mother earth.

Death is life in reverse. All man has accumulated and aspired to be, slowly vapours into nothing because everything started with nothing. Now walk we shall in a place where man walks beneath earth and earth rests upon him. It is here with trees i did connect and further lost sense of the human being. An uncontainable darkness of the most peculiar and ardent nature didst sink her claws deep beneath my soul, ravenously tearing away layer after layer of my wellbeing.

Hope burned down with furious immolation, upon this altar i submit to my own desecration. The flaying of my essence, bloodletting of the shell that once was mine.

I drink now my own blood, tasting sweet like the redest of wine.
Vampire i have become... the unkindling of mankind hath begun...
‘That is not dead which can eternally lie.. and with strange aeons even death may die.’

When you are in space without oxygen.. you will suffocate.
A black void will strangle all your life out of you...
And your eyes will gaze right into the abyss.

A lonely drifting rock, floating in a place where time loses all meaning and hope is nothing but floating dust.

A vortex tears through this bored reality.

A bleeding **** oozes out blackness, the flicker of a blinking eye, ******* me in.

Emotions implode, a rush of rage, fists land where they were not supossed to land.

Meteor impacts on your skull...

Hope splattered on the walls washed away with the tears of grief and regret. Remorse.

But then all gone, all absorbed into the gaping maw inside me.

Complete withdrawal from life... a retreat to hibernate.

That is how our love feels... this is how you feel.

When i am  sleeping you will push a pillow on my face.

You feel like breathing

So easy, i do not even notice you are there anymore yet i need you to live.

You are like breathing

With a plastic bag strapped over my head.

And i am all out of breath......

My eyes gaze backwards into the void...

A floating dying planet, dusted by particles of hope..

Why won't you let me **** you?

How much force does it take to squeeze the life out of you?
Why do you persist such agonies and endure your strife being beat down into the mud? A vortex of emotions running rampant, but in the blink of an eye, consumed and swallowed whole. Now there is an empty and sick acre. And though the leaves are green on the other side of the fence, i sit here bound to you.

Time has become a mind numbing drug that i hav egrown impervious to over the years. I no longer have the dirt left to bury you. The only  hope for me was to **** you but here you persist. Neither narcotics nor psychoanalysis got rid of you. I could not fit you in any container.

Unrelenting, savage, corrupted, mauling and swiping at me. Sleep was a temporary escape but you found a way into that world as well.

It seems i will forever carry you on my shoulders. My burden to bear, my medal of shame, a trophy of my failings, a banner proudly flying in the rainy nights.

So why can't i **** you?

Is it because you are a memory?

Now that i know i never said goodbye or locked you out of my mind.

Time kicks my face to the grinder as i bide my time.
While i fell from you admiration. Sometimes i wish i could hate you but sometimes hate is not enough. So i am runnin'away hoping to lose myself.

I don't yearn for your death i only seek for your decay. But yearning is not enough. So i'm runnin' away. In hopes of finding a better place because my hatred is not enough to burn the noose you tied around my neck.

Your kiss as sharp as our love. And now i am left with an aching hole in my chest, staring wide open into the world like an open door.

Unlike you i prefer to be broken and carry my wounds for all to see rather than walking around like a plastered up corpse, ashamed of being broken.

She jumps back and forth on a mud stained road.
Her little yellow boots violently shattering the tranquility of shallow puddles.

" I trample upon the weak"

A breeze, moaning softly of autumn confessions lifts her blonde hair and reveal 2 bright opals reflecting a dark sky.

The smell of mouldy cornfields and rotting leaves ****** the noise.
Leaves gritting their teeth. Blissfully she splatters through the countryside.

" My scars mark the path which you shall follow"

A sudden halt of the feet, fleeting moments of gazing into her own reflection. A realisation of nothingness..

Just for a brief spell

She realises that she is alone...
That she has no meaning...

" I walk this road alone, I am the shepard of a flock made of condensed hope."

A flash of lightning breaks the introspection. Woefully she splashes along the dirt road, relishing the autumn mirage of a dying countryside.

Her rubber boots squeaking followed by soft snickering.

" I refuse to see the harsh and bleak snow that hangs in the clouds."

a vast ocean of black looks up from a shallow puddle at my feet.

Her boots in my stained hands...
I lean myself against a shovel, stabbed firmly yet violently into the muck of the earth.

And for a glimpse i see her reflection.
For a moment i realise

I am alone
my life has no meaning.

A flash of lightning breaks my introspection.
The haze lifts and i see her opal eyes gaze up at me from the shallow puddle..

" A shepard with no flock is unfit to guide the innocent to their home."

Those opaline eyes blaming me, judging me. A burden unfit for my shoulders.

I toss the dirt in her eyes.

As i place mine ear against the ravaged and ***** soil of the earth..
I hear her boots squeaking.. and soft splashes.

" I tread upon the corpses of the weak."

Raindrops paint black the world..

Each drop her eye... gazing me down...

Blaming me for deeds that were done.

I yearn to return...

To those days

Of whispering autumn breezes, rotting leaves...

And her...
Blisfully jumping around in shallow puddles...

As i watched her from behind the trees.

I cherish no dreams of sand..
My head aches... my glass thoughts collide.

A ticking bomb... my blood turns to lava and i cook inside my skin...

drowning whispers lick my mind clouds...

a sour taste of discomfort sends a sickening twitch down my beating limbs.

Ejected into a timeless void between worlds..

Where planets eat one another...

A silent witness to the end of all things...


decolorized  and stripped of mortal chains

the sigh i have become...


I hold no dreams of sand...


But when life shows its fragile side....

I have no choice but to cherish the obsolete purpose...

Of our futile human lives....

I feel no pity...No remorse, nor shame...As i put them to the stake...
Hanging them up by their necks... setting their bodies ablaze..Grinding their ashes between my fingers... before mixing them with my supper.

Am i depraved? Am i what remains.. when the blood of dreams have spilled out of me....
And the darkness took shape... giving birth to despair...

And with its birth amidst my blood and *****.....I also ******* all that humanized my soul.Such is the fate of the slaves....I feed of them to sustain myself a little longer...
A sad comfort i find within the tomb of my hollow shell...The rancid smell of their burning flesh brings me back to my inner battlefields..A fading flame of humanity has all but illuminate the way back...

Am I to be dragged upon the altar and submit myself to the thralls?I feel the lash carve open my flesh and tearing my muscle..Nothing but muzzle flashes as i faint from sight..

Awakening at the sight of flesh flies feasting on my festering wounds..I am consumed alive amidst the filth and dirt i left behind...And am exposed for the maggot i am on the inside....

My consciousness evaporates into the faint smell of burning flesh...

Drooling with ravenous hunger.. I gluttonously gorge myself and snarl at the hand that feeds me...Like the ghoul i am... I drool at the sight of the master throwing his dogs a bone...And if he wants me to roll over and play dead...I shall not doubt nor neglect....I will submit myself to his will.. and undergo the bereavement of my innocence.

Until I blossom like nightshade...and reach my full potential...

And i will be burned as incense and my ashes processed in a final supper for all to consume.

Staccato's of clasping chains.. feverishly flaying your wrists...

As a rabid dog chewing off its own limbs to crawl away.


You hide in my shadow.. The only place where they cannot get you...

While your children burn...

A sour scent of ***** floods richly within these forsaken walls...

A tranquilizing melody of ****** gargling


I will mutilate the memory...

I will stain the status you built...

I will pluck your fruit and devour it with voracious appetite

Gnawing your rotting tongue bit by bit...

i drink sepsis that drips from the shank of your thighs..

My hunger everlasting...

Ravenously, depraved, my claws rend and maim your angelic wings...


A carpet of feathers gusts at your final gasp....

A cold lick on your eyeballs...

We drag you into our grave...

Rats...

Swarms of rats...

And i wear a crown baptized and blessed of your blood....

Adorned with warm and beating entrails of the defeated and the devoured...

Bricked in walls....


I can still hear you clawing during the  most sleepless of sleeps...

And taste your rotting tongue...

Surrounded by tearing teeth, grinding their way through sinew and flesh..


A sickening shriek ******* from their throats.

Underneath a bleeding sky

their beating corpses cough up swarms of flies..

Our godess laid bare, covered in the stench of excrements....

Embraced her faithful flock.

As a reward for their devotion.. she gave her body...

Beaten and broken into submisssion...

The servants crack their whips...

Vehemently they violate her angelic body with ravaging lust...

A portrait of flesh...

Bodies sewn together into a pregnant abomination...

***** and bereaved she gazed upon the bloodied sky..

And exhaled from her rotting mouth...

Regurgitating her teeth...

Kneeling in gore , caressing her female features.. fertilizing her soil with blood.

The severed head licked her no more....


A spawn of maggots seeped out of every orifice...

Whilst she screamed and gnawed on the bones of her offspring.


And the heavens wept in blood...

When the world was set ablaze...

Remember our moments as children. A time when innocence veiled us from the tears of the outside.

Now but a fainting cloud.
Burrowing through the shadows of doubt.

And we lived such wonderful lives as children.
We shared our colors.. we smelled the flowers..

Running through sheening cornfields in the summerdusk.

All is gone.

And i could never forget you..

So let me take you for a walk..

I expect nothing of it..

Just hoping to go with you on a treasure hunt..

To dig through time...

Would that be fine?

In this mind of mine.. i paint these lives.. all the universes i made with you.

So let me talk you for a walk.

Between the cornstalks we can talk...

I will always remember those days.

But joy never stays..


You made me shiver and quiver...

Now i only dwell in the deepest caves..

And i cannot forget you.


My affection deviates into obsession..

Since that day you died...

I smeared your blood upon my face

I felt purified...

My heart used to beat...

now it only weeps...


My decayed fingers caress the rotten corn with whom I was buried.

Woke this morning, shaving...

gazing at the foam that drifts silently upon the water...

My ****** reflection gets caught up in a haze from the steam..

a small taste of rust comes across my lips.
I see small crimson clouds explode on the surface of the water...

And sometimes i wish i exploded with them..

One bright flash for a moment... my full potential all gone in one blow...
With nothing left to bury... Just disperse like the fog...

But it is hard..... Leaving those behind, that will be crushed by your demise... You do it for them...

You do it... because you never know...

Luck might finally lie just around the corner...

Maybe luck is not for you...

Maybe you and I....

Will spend our lives wondering when we can finally climb out of our shallow graves and breathe again..

When we finally swim back to the surface and breathe...

While i hang above my sink, shaving...

I wish i could be that drop of blood...

simply disperse in the water.. not a trace to be found...

Sometimes i wish i was the water....

The colorless void that absorbs all it touches and yet changes nothing...

Unmoved, unchanged.. forever stagnant...


But you refrain from such things... not completely for yourself

but those you'd leave behind...

And in realizing so you have already found a reason to stay...

And shave your doubts away...

You must be strong and steel yourself....

pain is the best learner...

And yes the thoughts do submerge from time to time...

but do not let them be the wind that blows your sails..

Yet....

Sometimes i wish i was that drop of blood...

So i could leave everything behind

and finally get some sleep..

to please my weary mind.

Morning vapors creep through every nook and split.

An infusion of rust and what once was...

Montone drumming of morning sickness.

4 chairs, one occupied the other 3 forgotten.


Nothing but white noise... and blank dots.

Fatal infatuation with the delusional abominations

shed out of the womb of the spirit.


bloodshot eyes clawing their stare into the walls..

Fingertips tasting the past as they caress your lifeless body.

What about the children? Our children?

My nostrils feel the warmth...

And the smell of decomposed remains...


My head creaks down and my sight drowns in the pool of blackness i see in a cup...

Simultaenously comes a laugh and a cry..

At some point all life will die...

The blackness gazes further into me.. and i drink

from my cup of coffee...

Black, no sugar, no milk...

For there are no things to make something sweet....

Sweeten the blackness... that grew inside her....

Inside our children....

And i realise my hands are stained with sin....

And i feel this same blackness... this cancer....

growing within...


I sip my coffee...

Black, no sugar and no milk...

Mourning nights between tiled walls.

A neon tube flickering... illuminating the darkness of my mind for a brief spell.

I contain, restrain myself... refrain from doing things i might regret.


These white walls.. where i spend most of my sleep...

Splashing water, rinsing my eyes....

pretending you are filth i can wash away..

A bad dream that fades with sunlight


But is never that easy....


Hours drip by... endless pounding

my head against the wall....

Another pain to block out the other..
End these sounds that cause my anguish..

A self inflicted comatose..

I wish i could sleep my life away..

Yet sometimes release seems so close...

my feet anchored to the ground..

To finally catch my sleep...

My thoughts collide.. converge in purest shape..

The flickering neon light bursting in violence...

Nothing but a dark room.... and this eery feeling... of a stranger watching over my shoulder...

It whispers to me.... and grabs me by the neck

my elegy ending with a sour note...

For i find myself a gibbering wreck

I reach the end of my road


shattering the memorable mirror...

Shoving its shards down my throat.....

And i am found between the blood and coffee

that stained the floor....

You could have had it all...

I wanted to give you everything...

I wanted to take the fall...



I knew the risk and what you demand

But still i asked for your hand..



We could have cherished memories of us together...

Now we both regret wasting our time...

One feels sorry for what he did to the other...

The other one regrets the times he stands still on the past...

You made a promise



But it choaled hollow like your conscience...

yet you left an empty spot in me... one that can't be filled



Every kiss now nothing but bitter taste..

Sheets that reek of corruption and betrayal..

Pictures that show lies...

Broken glass on the floor...



we could have had everything together....

It left me with a sting..



all because you gave in to a temporary fling....



that DESTROYED everything

All the sweet words i hear from you.. rewind them like tape and replay...

All the sounds you make when we kiss... put it on pause and enjoy the silence with you

All the screams you made... put them on hold....



I keep playing your voice in my head.. like a tape

I have them all stored in category...



Cries, screams, laughs, joy, love, lies...



I keep hearing you in my head..



I kept it on audiotape....



It's all i have left...



When i plunged a knife into your chest....

Awaken, lay gaze upon a frozen wasteland.

A subtle scent of autumn decay, stings the nose..

A gentle stroking of the ears, with winter's gentle fingertips...


Eyes frozen solid, eternally gazing to the solstice..

concealed in the dirges so long forsaken...

Scars dug deep by men to wage war upon another...

Lifeblood brought corruption to this soil...


And the hollow bones, caressed gently by earth.... desperately trying to claw out...

Gasping for breath...


So awaken, lay gaze upon this frozen earth...

Eyes never blinking... frozen solid.. milky diamonds bleached by the bleak winter sun...

Secluded in a dirge so long forsaken...


A bare laid corpse gazes eternally... from the bottom of a chasm...


Towards the sun....

The moon is fading....

A fog is dripping down from the painted ceiling...

mankind remains wrapped in blindness....

While the dirge slowly fills to the brim....


With milky, colourless eyes....

Gazing to a harsh solstice...

I am a mossman.
Sometimes i am green, sometimes yellow, sometimes gray but always alone.
My horizon touches into the far nihilism.
A place where sunlight is absent and never burns my eyes.
No signs of life, just the falling of leaves and the cries of the wind.
Snow, rain, stars, i have seen it all
but the light, i have never seen.

No dreams to follow, no objectives set, no plans, nothing.

A depressing jest......
just me, myself and the lethargic landscape.
Anchored to the bark, drowning in a sea of time.
A year is an hour..... an hour is a year....
Does not matter to me...
I am not going anywhere.
Mij destination leads to a No man's land.


I am a mossman.
Gazing at the starlit sky until my insomnia slumbers.
Dancing deadlights disperse their euphoria.
And twilight fills with the rusty perfume of melancholy.

Now the fragrance pierces my nose.
That typical rust smell, cascades of scarlet ripples on the floor.
Glittering rubies dripping past my window like the morning rain.
Glassy eyes gazing at a marble skin, that touches like graveyard leather.
Fits the interior, fits my mood.
A shaking hand loses strength, loosens its grip.
Eyes on infinity, through the window, at the dark, at the moon.
One last exhale, curtain call.
Falling forever...


I was a mossman...
Sometimes i am green, sometimes yellow, sometimes gray but always

alone.

Tears float by... endless streams

Like snowflakes, slowly falling.

Coliding with dead earth...



A railroad stretches for miles through a sterile monotone landscape...
Little embers still smolder in their cribs....

A town of fleeting memories and a scent of wet flames...

Layer after layer of thick smog... inhaling...

corroding... turning black my tongue..


I lick the ice from her cheeks... her frozen sorrow so bitter....

bitter with defeat...


Her corpse so fragile, dissolved in the glacial waste...
a trail of blood...
A bridge for me to follow...


A shadow of what i once was....


And my hope melts like snow in the sun...


Spring has come....

I watch you from day to day

And in my mind i visit the grave where my love for you has decayed

Shattered my brain and pierced my soul...

Nothing of me did you leave whole.....


Now you have a taste of life...

As you become someone else his wife..


As the rain just comes and flows..

So do you all your lovers come and go...

All i asked was just once chance...

But i got nothing but a glance...


I don't know where i have failed...

But watching you cry feels like razorhail..

My mind hates you but my heart does not...

But i'm sure you already forgot

That i still care...

Let me share... in your grief

Give me a chance to make you believe...


But in me you saw no gain...

And you drowned me into your pain...

Your tears so crystal and frail...

Slide over my skin like razorhail...

All the tears i did not fake...

All these years, in my chest an ache...


now the pictures are all i have left...
And my tears flow

For these pictures will be all i will know...

Once again i have failed...

Jump out the window..

your dying skin so cold and pale....

over my head falls.....







the razorhail

Distant cries and weeping

Echoing
through my hollow skull

mind is numbing

barely awake

hard to breathe

i pull you near, the surface

of the abyss of my heart


lost at sea and shipwrecked you wallow through dark waters, that reflect in my eyes.

a stare of corpses

starlight crosses

and breaths entwine that what lives and that what is about to die


you stare into my lifeless...

frozen eye



As my eyeball turns away into my skull...



I turn away from you.....

During nights where no man dare to go...

Lies a path that leads to Woe...

A print of limbs in naked snow,

From where did once a red river flow.


Ever wandering, did she so fastly...

Away from places that are so ghastly..

Beyond the reach of boney fingers.

Where the evil eye no longer lingers.


Her tell-tale heart all filled with fright

In a place deprived from light...

Her veins like nitre by dreaded cold.

Her life is thrown into the fold.


Winter gives her final kiss

a farewell for now, for 't is

Death that softly whispers of love.

Heavens cry above

and hell shrieks down below


Her broken body laid bare, bleeding in the dreadful snow.


To suffer the eye no longer, no longer,

Made her deadly desire that much stronger.

Here Anabelle lies, depraved of breath..

Suckling from the breast of Mother Death...

Her corpse now bows so very brave,

towards the symphonies that come forth

from her grave.

Beneath blackened earth, where majestic death gave birth..

Lies Sir Roderick so very still.

Claire wanders and wonders if there is something more,

beyond life she can explore...

In a tome of darkened lore

answers were cast at the question.

If only a mild suggestion

of necromantic, a spell.


To take back a soul from hell....


Claire descends in Roderick's tomb.
They will be united soon..


Indeed it is a graverobber's plight, to take care of such a wondrous sight.

Little Claire did not care, as she played with raven hair.

Words dripped from her lips, as she read from the bloodied tome..

The atmosphere drenched in a shivering tone..

going through marrow and cutting through bone.


Lay still your beating heart, let flow your sea of life..

Come back from Death and love thine wife..
A sacrifice with children's blood she gave

Roderick now ascends from his mouldy grave.

His flesh looks putrid and vile..

Dilly, dally the maggots wriggle

Claire comforts with a single giggle.


Now they dance, hand in hand.

They kiss in brittle moonlight

his tongue like broken glass, such delight.

So full of joy was Claire, as Roderick was festering in his chair.

Claire did not care, playing with raven hair.

Roderick still festering, festering in his chair.


Then she nodded, nearly napping, one last spell inside her head.

Command Sir Roderick to share her bed.

Little Claire was nowhere to be found...

Chewing, drooling, smacking....

Followed by a clamour and loud cracking.

Lay upon the bed, Sir Roderick and Claire.

Sir Roderick did not care, playing with her raven hair.

Loathsome Claire was united no more..

Her cannibalized remains

decorated the floor.

Dreary meadows... empty halls...



I soak myself in candle light...



I wash away my form of wax..



In your tears i find comfort...





Bathing in your mind.. makes me relax...



Ravenously devouring your memories....





I am the creeping dark around the corner...



A future distorted, a past discorded...



your present state in turmoil....



Tumbling further into depravity...



A shadowy fragment of what once was you...



Dripping, gaping maws. Elongated fangs laid bare...



Rend sinew and tissue....



Gnawing violently your rotting tongue....



Venom seeps out of every orifice...



As you transpire myself from you



and dress your misery in flesh and blood...



While your sight evaporates...



I roll my eyes out of sheer boredom



Your frail waxen form.. melting in the heat of my hands...



Dripping in dead puddles of discomfort...



Your sorrow festers like mould on corpses....





And on that faithful day you gave birth to me...



You gave me my name.....



When you look in the mirror you will always see...



You will whisper my name...



Melancholy..