“I’m sorry”
I whisper.  Over. And over.
A reflex when things are not okay.
Because no matter what I’m always to blame.

Fears created by years and years of trauma and abuse and manipulation. Triggered by the smallest thing.
I’m sorry.

The fight with your own mind,
Is the hardest war to wage.

But know, the lion that you are facing, is that same strength that you carry.
You can tame it.
Embrace it.

You might be fighting your own strength

If I haven’t told you enough times today,  
I love you. And I am infinitely proud of you. Even on your hard days, you handle it with grace.

Love, when you pray, I smile.
Not because of my love for the Almighty, but because yours shows so much in your words. And your relationship with him shows in your tone. And I smile each night I hear you speak to Him.

If I am not your peace, will you come home to me 10 years from now after a stressful work day and want to talk to me? Especially if there are problems in life? Or will you come home emotionally numb and f** me and then shut me out all over again? Why is this your coping mechanism?