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  Feb 2018 Danial John
Frank Russell
This has nothing to do with the Absolute -
     this idea of God.

In childhood, God was the loving
     Father in the sky -
Outsized, sporting a flowing white beard, and
     ever attentive to my prayers.

Now, God is an abstract notion -
     transcendent and immanent,
Infinite, eternal, and
     difficult to embrace.

But all of this has nothing to do
     with God -
All these continually mutating
     mental constructs.



- fr
  Feb 2018 Danial John
Mama earth
Fear wondering astray                
Mears pondering I lay
Near fields among the day                    
  Here yield those of gray          
Dear God stuck at play
®️©️
Danial John Feb 2018
Oh man, I can't stop seeing bad omens.
Flowing, from the empty spaces... pouring.
The blood in my ears is roaring.
I must make clear these notions.

The world whispers and murmurs.
I must be put on earth for a purpose.
Blessing and curses.
Still, I feel worthless.

I listen with the ear of my heart.
See with the eyes of my soul.
Getting closer, yet falling apart.
Will not stop until I achieve my goal.

Yet still I listen, transition and complete my mission.
Fate leads me into the ultimate competition.
Wrists twisted, wits missing, the clock ticking.
You must understand that if I don't try I'll never know what I'm missing.

And for the 5th quatrain, I plead the 5th.
My thoughts cannot be shared directly.
Read the omens with me and see pain's lithe.
Please bear with, I hope you don't wish you'd never met me.
Is all around you, just look and listen.
Danial John Feb 2018
I saw you last night in my dreams.
We were together or so it seemed.
The house was dark and not my own,
and something hidden chilled me to the bone.

It darted from dim corners into bleak rooms.
Fast, so very fast, did it move.
What it wanted I do not know,
But I do know one thing... I feared for my soul.

The wicked creature's presence could not be tempered with your embrace.
In fact, if you hadn't been there I may have given chase.
But you grabbed me and held me back.
And honestly, I don't know how I feel about that.

These monsters are mine, and I demand they stay that way.
Of my own will and volition, I will make them dissipate.. someday.
You make it too easy to forget my goals and purpose,
To hunt down these issues, find them, and have them murdered.

But fret not, because I forgive you.
When I say this please believe me: It is I, not you, that is the issue.
Its unlike me to care,
But please, please... heed my warning. YOU MUST BEWARE.

When I awoke, I was dripping with sweat.
I scanned my dark room, only to find my demons manifest.
And all at once, it became just too real.
Perhaps it wasn't a dream at all... but a depiction of how I feel.
I official don't like to sleep anymore. You may be able to run from your feelings and emotions while awake. Just keep moving, not thinking, and you'll be fine. However, in your sleep they easily invade your mind.
Danial John Feb 2018
I am happy.
No, really, I am.
How can one not be when life is so full of beautiful distractions?
The plants and flowers.
The trees and bushes.
The people with their smiles.
Its all just so magical.
Joy creeps through my veins.
My face is flush with ecstasy.
I can truly take in the worlds many lovely little things
when my lungs are full of love.
Who doesn't enjoy the mind-numbing radiance that seems to exude from life?

Now...
if only it could last.

Unfortunately it can't.

So now what must be done
is scrounge enough cash for another sack.



D.A.R.E

Drugs Are Really Expensive

They'll cost you your happiness, sanity, security, family, friends,
and most importantly...
Your money.
Doesn't rhyme
Danial John Feb 2018
Let this be my official declaration.
I
am
done.
Done with joy, love, happiness and all of that
FAKE ****.
If I go on pretending there's absolutely no way I'll make it.

The only things
that I seem to understand are hate, jealousy, and fear.
In all my time
they are the only things that have always been here.

I
MUST
rip the mask from my face.
Otherwise I will never be done running this race.
Its truly a disgrace.

I sleep with a
GUN
next to my bed.
Not for my own protection
but so I might work up the courage
to shoot my self in the
head.

**** ME
**** LIFE
**** DEATH

and
if
you're
reading
this
then
****
YOU
TOO.
**** notes
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