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Ronin Jul 2020
You tell me
I’m not that skinny
My BMI tells me
I’m way too skinny
You tell me
My waist isn’t that small
The internet tells me
My waist is small enough for modeling
You tell me
Everyone has size 2
Research tells me
The average size is size 12
You tell me
I’m not enough
Yet too much

I tell myself
I’m not enough
Yet too much.
Ronin Mar 2021
they say
death
is a certainty.

they're right.

i'm not
living;
i'm waiting,

full of fear,
i'm waiting
for the next call.

who will be next?
Ronin Oct 2019
how to fix
you
me
us

how to fix
your broken
promises
my broken
heart

how to fix
life
you let empty
words slip out
i was more
careful, keeping
quiet about

how to fix
everything
with a
razor blade

saved.
Ronin Mar 2021
you told me
the roses in my garden
weren't red enough,
so i changed them.

then
you told me
the roses in my garden
weren't big enough,
so i changed them.

finally,
you told me
no matter what i did
my roses would never be pretty
enough for you,
so i cried.

i let you trample up all
my roses
and i took the thorns and the petals
and i chewed them up,
and spit them in your face.

but one thorn
got swallowed
and it
remains stuck in my
throat to this
very day.

for every lie i get told
i swallow a thorn
how many boys would it take,
to get my rose garden back?


& i never even promised you a rose garden.
based on the book titled "i never promised you a rose garden"
Ronin Oct 2019
“just friends”
two simple words
that shattered everything
from my heart
to our future

i trusted you
gave you my fragile heart
please be careful, i begged
you promised me you would
but then you let those two words
escape from your lips

they were said so carelessly
as if they weren’t going to break me
and cause a heartache
my eternal doom

promises mean nothing
they are only make believe
empty words to ignore the heartbreak
that can’t be ignored
the pain is inevitable

you gave me back my heart
so damaged it was beyond repair
forgetting one important thing:
one cannot live
without a heart to love

“just friends”
two simple words
but coming from the right person
those two words are
fatal.
Ronin Nov 2022
You’re the forest
in which I
wander, and I
get lost

You, me
us.
It reminds me of
driving with my
mom, we always
get lost.

Together, but also
alone, I
get lost

You take the map
from my hands,
no navigation
you won’t allow
any guidance;

and alone, I
get lost

In you, me
in us.
Ronin Oct 2019
punish
relieve
hurt
silence

myself
my pain
my skin
my head
Ronin Mar 2021
your words
spin out of control
like the car she was in,

and your words
crash into me
like i'm the garage;
and your words
the car she was in,

and your words
leave scars on my body
like the aftermath
of their words
did;
"that crash,
it was the car she was in."
i love you, kiet.
Ronin Jul 2022
you say you
need space;
but you are
my space.

you are all the stars
in my night sky,
the moon
that i look at every night,
and you are
all of the planets
in my galaxy.

so how am i
supposed to give you
space?
the whole sky will come
crashing down
on me.
i will always love you, no matter what.
Ronin Mar 2021
they throw
their expectations at
me, as if
they were
a ball.

i've never been good at catching.
Ronin Oct 2019
the numbers on the scale
they define my worth
and right now, my worth adds up
to exactly
zero.

those numbers need to drop
until i am gone
annihilated
erased from this earth and from history
there is no "skinny enough"

i can't give in
i need to reach
that sick, sick goal weight
though i already know
anorexia won't be satisfied
because there is no "skinny enough"

the ideal weight
is exactly
zero.
Ronin Oct 2019
self-hatred
is art
just like
poetry
it needs to be expressed

a razor blade
is my pen
my skin
the paper
and my blood
the ink

art tells a story
coming from
deep inside
our darkest secrets
revealed
and once they're written down
they stay
forever.
Ronin Oct 2019
you are with me
within me
every second
of every day

every time
i close my eyes
i see you

kissing her
just like you kissed me

loving her
just like you loved me

being all hers
just like you were all mine

back when
i was enough.
Ronin May 2020
Tomorrow
When you wake up
It will all
Start to
Come back
Again

And you’ll have to relive
Every.
Single.
Moment.
You spent together.
I haven’t been writing much. I can’t sleep, or eat. I am heartbroken.
Heartbreak doesn’t inspire you, if it’s bad enough.
you
Ronin Oct 2019
you
you
are the everything
causing me to be
broken
empty
lifeless

you
did it
it is all
you
your fault
why

me
forever damaged
full of hate
all for
you

— The End —