often wonder how you think
but then remember I don't even care that much
cause your thoughts work in your own unique ways
that's extremely okaye , youre entitled to your voice
just please remember to breathe
give me a moment to process your minds technique
its often tumbling its way down
hard to wrap my head around when its just racing down
tryna touch ground without stopping to the direction its in
got me confused as much as their is to be
youre your own person I do believe
and your thinking is some sort of unique
that I can never get to reach me
and honestly I don't hate
im okaye with your ways of speak
but don't push me to the lowest selfesteem
leaving me without nothing to speak
cause you really made me like a tossed out dog treat
not having no feelings of what you really just did to me
I still can not speak
hard to believe , but im so fucken beat
youd left me out to be the meat for a final time
I cant handle the crossing line
I don't care to hear you speak all the excuses your mind can think
you've already made me so fucken weak
I cant breathe when I think about all the past
how it suddenly makes sense
im just in disguist and it hurts my head
it killed my heart
my only real what I thought was a best friend
doing some sly **** and playing me like im some *****
but for why
and for how
or but forreal
I can not even feel
you really played me
I cant remove my uttershock
still frozen in spot
frozen fucken thought
***** played tf out me
how tf  but what
I don't know now
but we aren't really friends now
and I know im still there
just not ever gunna be all there
cause you really cant
you don't and do but wont deserve to be someone I keep at my side
not a relationship
no more friendship
I took my foot off the floating ship
im just drifting away
you sailing away
but im perfectly okay
I got played by a *****
some funny **** to say
something so funny I cant wrap it aroud my brain
I don't care now
your thinking is its own unique way  
and I should want to know that technique
so I can be more on beat
see how you think
but honestly I rather just have a drink
forget that friendship was once a thing
im not even fucken weak
**** im living like theres nothing wrong with me
ive been hit with the stick
woken out a dream
who this ***** really could be
who this ***** is
man, I aint even trippen
it is whatever it is
im just happy it was something
that I knew could be a possibility
just thought more unlikely
cause youre supposed to be my friend
not what now some sort enemy
attacking when the lights went out
like the rest these sneaks
that just got something else going on
that makes them take a ride along
not controlled of their own
I got it , I know
but fool, take hold
youre the one who is supposed to have control
why you let them have tiniest type of leash
I know you aren't that weak
fucken speak
take some time to think
youre better then these thieves
don't follow their ways
pull away from their hold
see all the things you could have done
finally stand up and do what you keep wishing you would've
how come this is always coming up
aren't you tired of the same song
I know its played too long
that way I turned the sound off
im headed out cause I need something that cant be sung
so long . be gone .

Open my eyes
I take my pill
To feel alive
I won’t sit still
No more complaints
No more joint aches
It may be fake
but I’m awake…

A trance-like state
It is a place
So I can hide
No need to face
There is no shame
No more disgrace
The astral plane
My inner space

-

A dreamland Utopian place;
my mind where it exists
Then leave me here, I wish to stay;
This place I want to live
The world out there’s too harsh and cold;
I’m tortured day-to-day
It’s safe in here; stay till I’m old
I’m better off this way
Though it’s not real, it’s real enough
As long as I believe
I’m not like you; I’m not as tough
So, lies are tales I weave
Turn into truths inside my head
My new reality
I live my life as if I’m dead
I’m fine; Just let me be

MGK Love Overdose 551am
Septa 4 2018
      MGK love overdose just one of the very fuxken many songs I am so deeply in love
      They got me all thinking , reminiscing all kinds of everything featuring you
       Swear **** should grow old but it don’t and as much as I’m told “gotta let him go “ it doesn’t seem like so
      See now, hear me out right now
      Been a whole year almost since I had to go and leave you , not wanting it despite the life I had going on
       Knew it would most likely be the last time I’d see your face
         Some days I think the memories start to fade ; sort of makes me insane
         I ain’t want it that way , wish the memories shared would forever stay in brain  
          But life ain’t a blunt to rolll like that
        You drove me insane , made me this way
You’re not at all to blame ;
In fact I praise your name and the gains that came from all types of pain you made me face
          Don’t mean this all as you made Cause I too chose to go along and keep it the same
Though I lost my sane , went partially insane and had to move states
             Love you anyways
            Nothing so the same ain’t planing on it to change , gotta keep going this way till next sun come up
              Pull a chair up , this just started
A year last now , just about can’t let you loose
Wish you were near or magically appear
A year that I haven’t argued
A year with no joking and insults
A year no long drives
A year of no laughter
A year no real feel
A year no busting missions and late night talks till dawn
No hikes up the hills to see the views and just chill
No sneaking around or tryna keep it down
A year of no stares , glares feeling of little no care
Those eyes have not met mine in a year
And I don’t *** to cope
The *** is almost a year since we last had a bit of a blast
Making it all last
Wish it could not be the past
Hoping it was all never my last
A year since I heard your voice
Heard stories of your children and family , the fun and dumb things that have gone on
The times we spent , see not all great not all hell
We never felt the same or maybe we are insane
And couldn’t every admit and only commit to games of playing no same
We had to lie our feel or share and deny
Either or
For whatever
Doesn’t matter cause those eyes
Those eyes met my soul
I recognized it all too well
Felt good to be home
And now it’s s year since I felt
Your souls isn’t matched with mine
Actually in a fight I feel
And if we shall make it
Overcome this year of not speaking
This year of our separation
Baby I promise things could get great
Promised I’ll do my best to make it back
For you with you or not
Doesn’t change s **** thing
Ima ride for you till I ain’t got none left to run on
I know it’s dumb
But your my flame
We aren’t meant to forever separate
We’ll reunite , maybe not today
Just some day
Okaye
Latez .