how is it
that
I would do
anything
to please you
yet
I can’t
find it in me
to
please
myself

if i still flinch at the things that scare me
does that mean i'm still alive?
some days i'm not sure

i'm a stencil of a body
with a beating heart in the middle
like a stick figure
only you can't guess my letters

some say i'm a mystery
they can't figure me out
i think i'm drawn to that too
that hidden sadness inside

the more i know about you
the more i make sense

when you hurt
i can feel it
when you're happy
i can feel it

the pain is still real
i'm still alive
and we're breathing
somehow together
until one of us leaves

i still flinch because this scares me

there's an end in sight

today i am sure

kiss me goodnight

i feel closer to you
when i put words on paper

this one's difficult to write
even years later

do you believe me now?
you thought i was a liar

how could anyone love
a soul full of fire

you have demons of your own
i know it's bittersweet

see, you're a stubborn love
you're just like me

i wave goodbye to the past
because i don't wanna see

i'll love you from a distance
that's how it has to be

demons
hold me back

tether me away from the outside world

i can't go out there

don't make me go

my mind is eerie
but i know what to expect

these demons are my friends
they know me best

why did you decide
to make my body home

stop pounding on my chest
i know you're not alone

there are millions of you

only one of me

i'm outnumbered

please
just set me free

So it's been 6 years
Almost 7 now
I still remember that day
How it broke me somehow
But look what I did
I made it out
Look what I did
This is me walking out

Take one step forward
just one step
one step is progress
she tells me
but how do you take a step forward
when you don't know
which direction you are facing
It takes some time
to gain control
To rid myself from the concrete
But I take my first step
and the cement begins to break
it's left scars on my feet
they feel painful
but free
I'm wounded
but still standing
and which direction I'm headed
I don't yet know
but standing
is enough for now

You wore camouflage
I was in neon blue
You set your sights on me
But I couldn't see you
You took one shot
And then served me on a platter
You had me all to yourself
It's like I didn't matter
Is that all I am?
Just a piece of meat
Is that all I am?
Now obsolete