why do we go back to the those who hurt us?

like they did us wrong,

why would we go back?

believe their lies again

my emotions are crazy

they control my life

they are the worst

they suffocate me till i can't breath anymore

love is a funny thing

it can pull you in

and destroy your heart

or make you feel good a little while

you're my dreams
i can't wait to fall asleep,
fall into a deep

you're eyes, green as leaves
you make me believe
things are amazing

you make my world begin
and turn and turn and turn
you make me yearn

your arms around my waist
makes me feel,
feel as if there is not a care in the world

you're fingers intertwined with mine
brings me joy
a joy where there is no anxiety

sometimes the best thing is not keeping going but stopping

you need to stop and smell the roses to be happy they say

i listen and it helps

what makes me mad is that the poems i really like is the ones with the least amount of popularity

the leaves moving in a rhythmic motion
i watch them sway back and forth
i notice a certain pattern
why
do i notice the pattern
why do i continue to watch
why am i so concerned about this one little thing

people ask why I wear bracelets

It is the same reason why I wear long sleeves

can you guess why?

I am scared to go
It makes me low

When I think about going
I don't feel like showing

I have a major choice to make
My brain feels like an earthquake

It not only moved from her *******
but to her brain, and lungs

Why does God have to be so cruel?
Why does he hurt the good in the world?

Why can't he give cancer to the bad people?
I am tired of all the loss in this world

We need to find a cure soon
I can't lose my role model

why do i try and live,
if no one wants me here?

I am on a constant roller coaster of emotions
Someone save me from this emotional hell

Staring up the ceiling
waiting for him
laying with just a shirt on
"ditched school for this"
i thought

Flowers flowing
The green grass growing
The sun beaming
The girl screaming

The man taking control
He used his whole sole
She was weak
She couldn't escape his physique

i am terrified
my mom makes threats and I can´t take it
i don´t want to ruin my life and future
someone save me from hell
this hell i am battling
someone
anyone

So last night I was almost not gonna do it and I thought I was better
I thought I was strong enough
I was wrong
I f*cked up so bad
I was a year clean
I am disappointed in myself
The instant I did it hurt my heart more than skin
My mom is gonna lose her ****

Every time I walk into the store you are the first thing on my mind
I can only think about our sweet, unhealthy relationship
You crave those awful times in my mind
I can never stop thinking about you even though you hurt me
The feeling of carving you into my flesh
Made all of my pain melt away
I remember how I started you
I was at a very low place in the 8th grade
One of my friends hade done it and I thought lets try it
Little did I know I would never put you down
    I miss you old friend,
      Your survivor

What scares me the most
most won't guess what it is
is it me being dead?
dead batteries feel more than me

I am scared of being hurt
hurt is all I know

he is driving nuts
i can't remember a time when I felt like this
he turns me into a ****
i just want to steal his kiss

i miss falling asleep to his voice
i miss him holding me in his arms
i wish i mad the chose
i wish we were on better terms

Everyone thinks being in relationship makes you happier
You believe if you are in a good space with them then you will be okay

My grandma always told me that bad stuff comes in threes
It has always stuck with me and know I except more difficult things
I never realized how sad it was until I got older
It never seemed to fail me
When she passed, I failed 5th grade, and my cat died.
When I ran away, my boyfriend broke up with me, and I lost a house.
When my uncle died, I had to see my dad, and my mom had financial issues.
Life is a cruel game and you can never beat it

I don't want to write about love like everyone else
I want to write about the sadness
When you look around and see all the gifts
You get this pit in your stomach
Your heart feels like you have never been loved
You feel alone and nobody likes you
Don't worry someone likes you and is just scared and nervous
Don't worry your friends will always love you

Why don’t we have show and tell for scars?
They are more important than materials we show
They show the memories we can’t explain
Scars last forever, but memories will eventually fade
This world only looks at materials
Some things you can’t hold but love more than the things you can
Scars show how strong we are
Scars show the hardships you lived through
Scars show all the mistakes we did
Scars show that you got back up again
Scars are beautiful so embrace them as you do to your items

Dear Dad,
Even though I have hate
I still remember being scared of catching bait
I haven't seen you in 2 years now
When you didn't allow
Me to climb the trees
When we sit at the beach and feel the breeze

You have not been here for me
We don't agree
You choose drugs over us
We would never discuss
I was scared to be around
I felt like I was bound

Even though I sit here and cry
I think do I even qualify
For your love and care
Hearing you call me bear
And you sing me to sleep
All the memories I keep

You don't text back
It really hurts when you lack
Someone, everyone else has
You were always bias
I just wish you cared about me for once

I am tired of all the meds
The meds make me blurry
They are evil
They look for your weak spots and attack

Being lonely does not mean actually being alone
Being lonely could mean you have loads of friends,
But you are alone in your head
You don't trust your "friends"
You don't need to be single to be lonely
You can be dating someone and feel empty and alone
Being alone is such a dark thing
Looking around and seeing everyone but,
Feeling lonely
Being lonely is like your eyes see black all the time

Many ask why I do it
I get release
I feel for the first time in a while
I do it to feel pain
There are many reasons why I do it

It was 8th grade
I was sitting next to her
She noticed something wrong,
I looked pale
Little did she know that,
The morning before school I took 7 pills
I wanted to feel pain
I wanted to die without my mom knowing
She asked me are you okay?
I simply turned around again without saying anything
I wrote a note saying I was broken
She got up in the middle of class and gave me a hug
That girl told me that life is beautiful
She told me how ****** up her life was
I felt some reason to live again
Little did she know that it was my 8th time trying to die
She didn't know me very well
That broken girl was an amazingly kind person
She didn't think about class
Just me
Thank you for loving me without knowing me

Everyone says you are supposed to love your scars
They say it shows how strong you are
But the funny thing is that when I look at them
I see how long they have been there
The sad thing is they have been there longer than anybody ever has

A dreadful thing comes into your life
You might have to go under the knife
It can spread
It's in her head
It is going to **** her
It is just going to transfer
I can’t afford to lose another
I can't lose another grandmother
She beat it before
Can she take more?

Let me tell you about a little girl.
This little girl got the worlds hate on her
By the age of 5, her Dad got arrested
She remembers that night without a blur
She feels like God made her life twisted
Nobody heard her
By the age of 6, she was sexually assaulted
At the age of 7, she tried to **** herself for the first time
Her body was a shell
She ended up hopeless and empty lonely
By the age of 15, the little girl tried to die 6 more times
That little girl was broken
She tried smokin
She tried taking pills
She tried everything to numb her head
She just laid in bed
That little girl had no one to turn to accept her blade
She was afraid
With scars down her arms
She was hating her body
Her tears always running down her face
On the bright side, that girl is getting better
She wears sweaters
To hide the scars
That little girl is learning to love her body
Because of somebody
That somebody saved her from her hell
That person gave her the urge to compel
That little girl is happy now
That little girl is smiling
That little girl can laugh again
That little girl is me

I am okay is a lie
When someone says I am not okay,
It usually means they have tried
To hide it all for far too long
I am okay is wrong
They are broken
They have not spoken
They are are not “okay”