the girl who once had so much to say
is now afraid to open her mouth



-k.l.

Fade to faded photographs
You know the ones
A battlefield from long ago
Broken horses
Broken cannon
Broken men
Faded broken men.

Fade to faded photographs
You know the kind
A desert scene from long ago
Wild ponies
Feathered lances
Proud warriors
Faded broken lifeways.

Fade to faded photographs
You know the places
The ones so hard to find
Clear waters
Untamed wilderness
All God's creatures
Faded fading landscapes.

Fade to faded photographs
You know their names
Seats of power then and now
Wooden desks
Feather pens
Prideful men
Faded broken promises.  

r ~ 4/27/14

The decline begins with me aching
It started in my back
How has it reached my heart so quickly?
I see nothing useful in these scarred hands
Jeez

I want you, but so much more than
light kisses on sunshine rain and
caresses of sweet caramel.
I want trails of your nails against my back,
bite marks on my collar bone,
mulberry stamps in the expanse of my flesh;
proof of you smeared unto my skin.
I want you to press me against the wall
and whisper sultry words of satin in the
shell of my ear.
I want the fury and the passion of your kiss.
Consume me with the ardency of your urgency,
with the necessity of oxygen drowning man desire-
I want you to breath me in, to drink me like
a fine wine, aged and velvety in the tongue as it
slides down your throat.
I want the danger of adventure as you explore
every crevice of my armor and find the *****
that undoes me.
I want what you can give and so much more.
I'll take whatever you'll give me, but I'll greed
for ever more.

Stop describing your terrible ****** encounters
I know you've had other women since I ended things with you
You're acting like you don't have magazines stashed under your bed
What, when I was with you your hand was your secret lover
And now it's not enough?

I'm so cold. I just want the affirmation of another soul's proximity
Is anyone out there?
The spinning feeling increases its tempo
The awful silence crescendos
Bring me back, bring me back
I miss the Saturday night I spent on mushrooms.
Everything was alright in the world
Anonymous carefree the world was ablaze
I convinced myself I was a fire spirit and you were a deer
I'm not addicted: I only tried it once.


All I want is a cigarette and to go back to sleep.
The world will turn without me
Your heart will be cold either way
Why and I vying for your attentions?
I tell myself I'm too antisocial
Until I have asked every single last one of my faceless friends to come get me
I guess it's alright to take some time for yourself
Is this a manifestation of grief or depression?
Is anyone out there?
I prefer the company of strangers to those who I've already become disillusioned with
Will anyone feel my gentle tugging and lend me a hand?
Just a coffee
Just a smoke
Just a walk through the warming days
Spring cleaning
I've successfully ignored your texts for long enough
I think I'll sleep with you
Not because I think that's all I'm good for.

Is it really "being used" if you're aware of it?
Am I not using you as well?
I can't decide if this will turn out well.



To you: Help.

Quiet now children
Trailing your ****** rags
The lights must go out
Back to your cells
Back into your minds
Each of you
Retreat into your personal hell and nirvana
Toss and turn
quietly now...
Burn - be reborn
in remembrance of the torture and the pain

We can all be the village
Carry her bones through the streets
Raise her as our own
As though she is alive

The wind whistles into her skin
Gusting through her body
She is not alive
Her muscles mechanically quiver
Trying to bring warmth to the congealed veins

But if she gave up so long ago
Her heart refusing to pump again
Why shouldn't her body sleep too?
Rest my child
Hush, hush.