and sometimes
we need to lose it all
   to find ourselves.

There's this mask I wear
The glue is so tight
Hiding me, hiding all
All you don't see, unless you get really near
That I'm not alright
My eyes are dark and deep enough for you to stand in
My wrists are ******, so are my thighs
My heart is shaky
And I've got non stop anxiety
But from far you see this mask
You hear my loud laugh
And see me hold my tummy in pain from giggling at my own joke
You swear I have recovered
When actually my late night tears help me keep the mask on
I may not look injured
Nor hollow
Or in pain
Just with this smile on my face
Of this mask that I wear
I hurt unheard and unseen,
Impatient for good days.

If my heart was transparent
A lot wouldn't be the same
Anyways, I'm already used to building these walls around my heart.
It's protected, I guess. From the outside world yet within me the storm never calms.
Tears wet these pillows
All night through sometimes wishing that morning must never come
Holding the grudge against myself
While smiling to all standing right in front of me.
Asking is this how life suppose to be.
Limping with anger yet holding the last thought of laughter
One hell of life we living.
You see...
This mask doesn't show things in 3D
That's why I love rainy days
Coz my tears are never recognized
Sadness engulf my soul while hoping that one day I will be able to remove the glue on this mask I wear.

Here’s to the feelings that flow
through my veins,

here’s to the love whose trip
was a lot of pain,

here’s to the days
where I am in vain,

and here’s to your heart
that I cant seem to obtain.

I wish that someone was interested enough
In me
To read between the lines and read
Deep
To point out where I failed
And places I was strong
To stalk me and examine me
And notice my song
My rhymes
My patterns
And rythyms
And tell me that they notice me, because I
Would never guess that anyone would ever
Notice me

Why am I not like her?

She has the most beautiful skin,

Remarkable appearance with red plump lips,

Everyone can’t help but wonder as she passes by

How can someone be so pretty?

One Day I came across the thought

Why am I not pretty like her??

I go back and stare at the mirror like never before…

Her body shape like an hourglass made my faint curves shy

Her spotless skin mocked mine with acnes and freckles

Her brown eyes with long lashes while I had bags below my eyes

Her plump lips versus mine that looks dreadful

Why can’t I be like her?

“Maybe because I’m nothing infront of her”

I again take my attention back to myself in the mirror

Just picturing her remarkable feature in my head makes me look ugly

makes me look like a trash, garbage and useless…

Why am I not like her?

I question myself with tears that can’t help but fall down my eyes