Darkness clouds around me
I sit alone
Trying to focus

Too many sounds and thoughts
It's different this time
I'm smiling today

Even when the snow touched the ground
I thought of you
I still miss you but I'm happy you live on

In my heart and mind

"Here, we're very supportive"
I call *******
That's what everybody says

"We have an assessment calendar"
Then why is it like this?
Do you even use it or is it just decoration?

"It'll get better"
Day by day I've heard lies
Now I even lie to myself

What joy do I feel when I wake up?

I was in shock
I ran
I cried

I was better
I laughed
I sighed

I was angry
I yelled
I scoffed

It hurt so I cried and ran
Guess nothing really matters now
I cover my eyes as I cry again
I pushed her away as she wanted to hug me
I screamed at her and she looked hurt
I don't have the energy to care

I'm back in my safe haven
It's in the middle of a war zone
Wounds and tears staining the way
Until I realize mine looks worse
I can't bring myself to care
Can you?
I don't care

My ceiling stares back at me as I yawn
My eyelids feel heavy yet I can't sleep
Yet here I am, wide awake

01:00 - The usual time
02:00 - The new normal
03:00 - I might miss my alarm if I don't sleep

I stare at my ceiling as I think
My thoughts are jumbled
Messed up, unclear

04:00 - Is there a point in sleeping at all
05:00 - Barely any sleep time left now
06:00 - An hour until I hear the song

Now there's no point at all
I rub my eyes and I yawn
Yet another sleepless night