So many people focus on finding love
I'm too busy finding myself

“Be silent, dear child, make not a sound,
lest by Herrod’s soldiers we’ll be found.
No whimper, cry or any small noise;
They have orders to ****** boys.”
I’ve heard your playmates’ mothers scream
as their sons were taken from their arms.
And heard their helpless piteous cries
forced to watch as their dear ones die.
The streets of Bethlehem run red
with nearly every male child dead.
All lie victims of Herod’s fears
Of every prophecy he hears.
I hear a brute’s fist pound our door.
He’ll still my heart ere he strikes yours.”

Look at me so I can gaze into the past and fix the flaws
See me so I can mend what was left of that broken body
Touch me so I can surrender myself to this present heart
Release me so I can calm the storm in my future self

My name is Erin
and i was *****
at the age of 7

it has taken me
14 years of my life
for those 13 words to escape
my hollow mouth

the only questions i come to now
is why
why lock me in that room
why take everything from me
my innocence
my purity
my childhood

in that room
where my family trusted you
where i trusted you
the night terrors i have to this day
still haunt my mind

like a never ending
drive in movie that plays
over
and
over
only the moon in the night sky
isnt made to be found here
there is no light in these terrors

i cant sleep this time of year
because every time i do
its you
in that room
locking the door
shutting the windows
******* me
yelling at me
every single night
i close my eyes

it has taken me 14 years
to accept the fact that i was taken by you
i have been numb ever since
left in the dust
rotting away at the core
thinking i was nothing
thinking i deserved nothing
because you took everything

but not anymore
i will recover from this
i am strong enough
i believe in myself
i believe in my own happiness
and i promsie
that when i have children one day
i will never ever let them rot at the core
i will find happiness
the darkness will not take over this time

Just for a moment
I was a time traveler
Nicotine, coffee beans
Trudging through the Ardennes
Running down some cobblestone road
I still don’t know where it goes
Just for a moment
I was a woman
A slightly distorted version of myself
Strong cheekbones petite nose
What are those?
Just for a moment
Seventy-three years ago
A machine gun in my hand
Making my last stand
Just for a moment
I was truly myself  
Something I’ve never felt
My soul is crying out

One more hit is all I need
Then I promise I am done.
For without it reality
Really does weighs a tonne.
Crushing my ribcage
Which used to home roses
But now is bruised
From fists, He stands amused
As he puts his
Hands back around my neck
Without even looking to check
If marks are visible this time.
He is long past caring
My body no longer unsparing
For he has destroyed each part
Making me look like a childs colour chart.
Maybe I am to blame
For why he torments my fragile frame.
One more hit to numb my pain
Though these thoughts I can never tame
In my new found biological remedy
As I blackout I find my serenity
Longing for a new identity
For my body is an empty shell
Storing secrets I will never tell
For fears the words will only spill out.
So I sew my lips together
As my skin looks like worn leather.
When I finally come back through
My body is an array of black, purple and blue.
I take my final hit
Hoping finally this might be it
As the world before me turns to grey.
For now is my time
As I leave the wind chimes
Bringing me into a brand new day.

Words do not echo.
Words do not cry.
Words do not,
Identify.

Scrambled and stirred,
Frozen and baked.
Pulled when needed,
Eaten to be fed.

Pieced together,
Black or white,
Laugh or fight,
Wrong or right.

A sound is bound by key,
A picture by color pigments,
Emotions chemically,
But words contain,
Everything,
And absolutely,
Nothing.

The same word
Can be
Completely
Different,
Depending who, what, how
When it was read
Or written.

What if every word,
Was positive in meaning?
Harmless,
Could not
Destroy feelings.

Words have no senses.
Words have no bounds.
No touch, sight, taste, or smell.
Words have no sound.

Words have no sound.
Unless read aloud.