I wish my heart didn’t get juiced from the sight of you

It’s been too long since I have really seen you for that thought to be true

It’s a memory, fair enough
Memories can’t be trusted anymore than Donald Trump
Though we never discussed him
I know you’re disgusted
The same way I was when I realized that you loved him

Not Trump
but someone I despise just as much
Well that’s the past
What’s passed is past but what hurts so bad is the fact that it’s happened **** near
every
day
since

Still I see your still photo and
every
muscle
gets
tense

You’re a reflection on a mirror that contained all of my dreams
I would have let you be queen
You would probably be as happy as could be

You probably are happy as can be
But even if you aren’t there’s no way for any of us to see
That side of the camera phone
That shows you’re all alone
Or how it took you seven tries to get an angle you can show
To all of your friends

Let’s not pretend that we will ever be friendly

I thought you were my best but a test proved you we’re no friend to me

Now I don’t believe in love
And I never believed in destiny

But if I ever fall in love then let destiny take the best of me

As for the rest of me
I know he dies when I meet her

I’m still the same old *******
You left behind an evil creature

That’s how I know I never had
an angel at home

So I let you go

A little dirt on your feet is okay if you know
that your life will go on

Do you feel a year older?
Surprised at my own reaction
I actually feel
older, exactly a year older
I'm freer in the sense that the chip on my shoulder is light enough now that I can call it a boulder
I keep my back strong
I weigh it down with the times that I used to hold her
Time
        like the flames that turned to smolder
A pile,
         just a number of molecules in specific orders
They're the tools that created order
A thought process that made me feel older
That made me feel older, but who delivered the order?
After I blew out the candle
                                     right before my eyes the number changed
Who said the words, who gave the decree, who said that I could be                                                                                                   older?
Why should I be so blessed to
be
older?

A poem to make today meaningful.
Though I did something
It was nothing worth sharing
So you've heard before, no one's caring.

I'll write a poem to make today meaningful.
I'll be constantly reminding
You that you never had a good grasp of timing.
And it wasn't jealousy that forced me to quit responding
It was the fact that you would only text
me that I found alarming
...and you wrote a poem to make the end meaningful

You really must be my favorite author
I've bought your work time and again
I've your words stuck in my head
And you said
"You're reading too much into this" and had nothing else to offer.

Foggy lights look like sunrises to me
Enveloped, capsized, just light on the sea
Driving in a world where I see the air
Light has no inhibitions
Light does not care

Like coffee in the morning
I grew used to you somehow
It started bitter and without warning
  it is ending that way now

Like Gene Kelly or Sinatra
You have Marlon Brando class
Went to pop music from the opera
Now I cant stop thinking about ***

Like two stings out of tune
We always seem to clash
Bring your beauty to the room
Where the music doesn't match

Art is ever changing: lke w/e idc
People rearranging: Thrz no bEutY Ne wer3
(Jaha baha LOL
They prolly tlk like diz N h3L7 )

They feel eternal
These moments
More alive than I
Everyday the same
Exactly the same
They be the same when you die
These moments
they be eternal...............................


My mind sailed away again
(here again I set/smokin' a cigarette)
In these moments
I am not here to bear witness
(watching the branch of a hollow)
Yet they happen
They happen all around me and you
(When it moved just one step)
The pass as your laughing'
(how the willows had wept)
The move with such quickness
(and I was the last one to follow)
These moments

At midnight I was mid breath in a new day
It felt like more than a year of stay and wait
I called a stalemate with this time in my life
and here was a day to celebrate?

So I exhaled in a new year
It became clear it was only new for me
with the news that's on T.V.
There must be a reason that I just can't see

Something to steer me and drive me along
It materialized there while they all sang the song
I am alive and that is enough
My family is here and I am well loved
It came in the form of a pair of beige sandals
I breathed in and blew out the candles

Of all the dreams
Of mist and rain
I've dreamed here by this window pane
Of cloud kissed skies
Of grass with dew
None proved to be as sweet as you

Dreamin'
Always dreamin'
Always up while others sleepin'
Puzzle my eyes can't read the writin' on the wall

or the sun that set this mornin'
I said diets ******' bore me
She said fine just go get high and eat what you want

She reigns constant like reality
I'm washed backed in an endless sea
of champagne splashin' but it never ever hits the ground

This self induced imagination
Helps delay procrastination
if I don't get the guts up
we'll never even speak at all

Tryin'
Always tryin'
Though some days it feels like dyin'
to see you smilin'
pulling a cig back from your mouth

I'm just so in love with you
Well at least the love is true
I made it up
thats just my luck
Well, what can you do?

We were two objects of no value flowing down a river.
We bumped into each other and the experience was jarring but unlike anything either of us could explain in words that fit on the two dimensional space in our minds.
That was okay, I didn't need to say anything and neither did you.
So that's how it was.
Two objects of no value that clung to each other and flow down a river and for a long while it seemed we would never need to find the words to explain how we felt.
Then that storm came and the waters of the tributary flooded the land between rivers and we were washed around with all the debris.
Before I could come to an understanding of these events the river had become unfamiliar and large and wild and I was afraid.
I turned to you to say something but couldn't think of the words.
As I struggled in the waves and searched for the words I noticed we had been separated just a moment before and you were clinging to a branch that had floated too close.
As the river flowed ever forward we grew further and further apart.
As I looked around in my panic the river seemed to never end in any direction.
I thought we may float so far apart that I would never see you again.
I had been looking silently in the direction you floated for so long that, were I too unfix my gaze I would become hopelessly lost.
You, or the dot you had become, were my horizon. all I could see.
Too scared to look away from the comfort of your memory, I gave up.
Motionless, I was on shore. I had been for some time.
I stood up, because it was only then I realized I had feet, which is something of value, and it was as if a third dimension unfolded before me.
I walked out of a river, lost and alone and in awe of this wonderful world which had just been uncovered. Free.
I sometimes think about those days when I was subject to the current of a river and how you made it bearable. Now that I am out of the water and with two feet, stand confidently on land, I wonder,

would I have felt the same about you if we bumped into each other here.

All the pages of the calendar ran past
The fingers, arms, and face and the second counting hand
And for a second, I thought I had a real life plan
Then it turned out real life had a plan
I don't understand
Why
On the third time, these birthdays, for the first time
No head in the sand
I feel like a hundred grand saying "I am who I am"
Even without ionic, atomic, nuclear clocks ticking
I can feel I'm gaining time as the plot continues tricking
my mind and skin are thickening as I continue picking
and pricking the skin, like queen mab said
This world is a dream, sometimes its a nightmare
I'm happy, it seems, having something to share

How many poets have come before me?
How many have cried for someone they did not know?
How many have open their eyes to see their sister crying at the stove?
Who among us has delivered such news?
Was it something you remember?
I never again wish to carry that coal
A fires final ember

How many poets have come before me?
Surely I am not the first.
How many poets will abhor me?
Surely I am not the worst.
How many poets will reject me?
I am certainly worth their time.
How many poets will accept me
as nothing more than boyish rhyme?

How many poets must I prove myself to?
How many more is convincing to you?
I am who I am
Yes, that has been said
These words I left here
To live after the dead

It was a random like
I didn’t even think twice
Just typed it out and pressed send
To start the heart break again

It was a random like
You didn’t even think twice
That little (left hand) heart broke mine
With a random like

I’ll be ******
The internet suits you fine
But I’ll be ****** if I let this chance pass me by
Ill be ****** it seems your life is going well
And if it’s not there’s no way anyone could tell

That was a random like
You didn’t even think twice
That little heart broke mine
With a random like