She was more in love with their future
than she was with him.

So she chained him to her wrist,
dragging him through the years
while he admired her handiwork.

Most night
they only smiled at sunsets
because it meant
another day had passed
without a hurricane.

I don't know. Don't
Remember
What it felt like to not remember.
Sunkissed skin like ******
That ****** poems and backward humor could never win. My heart
Like a box of sweet tarts
With messages on them, like:
"Be mine." And,
"Stay with me." And,
"Will you be my Valentine?" Because I
Don't know. Don't
Remember
What it felt like to not remember.
Freckled cheeks paired with lips that have sung
Words I only remember because it stung to not
Remember. Her voice
Barely audible over child-like giggles and my silent praise of her perfect prose that
Fidgets and struggles,
Trying to roll off my bloodied tongue so that she can hear
And know
What it feels like for me to constantly remember
The space her image fills in my temples that trembles and threatens to fade.
Because it's easier to sway me to
Not- want to know.
Not- wand to remember.
What it felt like to remember.

someday my kids will ask me
“what happened in the year 2020?”

what didn’t happen?
2020 wasn’t a year
it was a war
a war between society
and mother nature herself
it was chaos
it was a pandemonium
it was when fires grew
higher than trees
burning homes and the lives in them
killing the ones that fought
against it
it was when the bryant
family dreams were crushed
a girl that would never
play basketball again
and a father that would
never get to cheer her
on from the sidelines
or watch her persuade the same
career he did
both never getting to see the light of day again
it was when a man couldn’t breathe
because the same people that are
supposed to save us
also killed one of us
they were white
he was black
making moms scared for
their kids lives
if they decide they ever
wanna become an officer
it was the year a legend died
while making kids think it’s cool to
do drugs
but not warning them about it
until it was connected to his
name on the headlines across
the usa
it was the year riots happened
instead of protests
where people got mad over the death of blacks
but put themselves at risk
not caring about the color of their own skin
thinking it would
make a difference in the
world if we got
rid of those who
serve us during shootings
rapes
murders
robberies and ensure our safety
it was when our president failed to
keep us safe
causing a pandemic
and deaths of families members
and emitting fear in people of all ages
it was the year he also thought it was right
to rip kids from their families
due to the ethnicity they were born with
thinking that it would be a positive thing
to give families trauma and fear for
the rest of their lives
it was when people thought
that letting a pregnant elephant
eat a pineapple that they rigged with
firecrackers would be
okay to do
cause that’s just a “normal” thing
not killing one animal but two
and the hope of many
to stop animal cruelty
the year the world got diagnosed
with depression
because people would
rather risk the lives of their families and selves
to do something without a mask
when kids started to hate their parents
for trying to keep them and themselves safe
and when our jobs became a source of little payment


but that’s not all that happened
it was also the year that
biden became president
putting us out
of our misery and
preventing further damage to
our would and society
they year baking and cooking
became a thing
for people of all ages
bringing kids and
parents together
its the year that people
came together
to make masks
and make sure that
others stay healthy and safe
the year that people realized
how hard and
scary it is to be black
and that you can
be doing nothing
but still have to be aware of cops
and not looking
dangerous or suspicious
its the year that kids who
wanted pets got them
even when their parents
said not in a million years
the year kids got creative
making viral videos
and doing great things
its the year that crayola
launched a new box of crayons
with diverse
skin colors for children
to "accurately color
themselves into the world."
its the year that we learned that
homeschooling is harder than it looks
and finally appreciated our teachers
for all the things
they do and deal
with on a daily basis
while getting paid so little
the year that we came
up with creative things to do with
our friends and family
outside and on zoom
the year we got to make so
many memes and tik toks
about covid that
the rest of the world finds relatable
and funny as well
it was the year we got to see
into the lives of celebrities and
show host while they
give us news and their kids
dance in the backgrounds of
the screen
it’s the year of a lot of deals and
free things because
who doesn’t like making people
smile over the little things
the year we all finally got to
catch up on our favorite tv shows
and spend time
alone and/or with our kids
being able to pick up and finish that book
everyone raves about
and getting up late because
you don’t have much
to deal with
the year the good games
came out and the best shows
became available
the year we all saved money
from not having to drive so much
and by the things we would need if we were living
life normally
and the year that we will get to tell
the best and most unbelievable and dramatic stories
about when your kids have kids, when we have kids,
or just to brag to people about in the future
its the year covid became scarier
than being grounded by
dad for getting a c+ in school
or mom getting mad at you for argue
back even though you didn’t
it was the year everything fell apart
only to bring us together to bring everything together
the year that the worst became the good
the year that no one else will witness and
experience than the ones
that lived through 2020

i’m happy again
not the happiest
but
happy
i can look at myself in
the mirror and smile
smile
because i’m okay with who i am
i appreciate the beauty i’ve been given
i look at my flaws
and don’t want to change them
they make me who i am
i’m able to be sad
without the consent feeling
overwhelming me
making me feel like i am
drowning in my everyday emotions
i can be with people
i don’t need to ask for
assurance that i’m loved
over and over again
until i drive them away
i can breath
breath in
breath out
only the fresh air
tinted with the smell of the ocean
and my fruity perfume that
i’ve been wearing since i lost her
her
i can think of her
and thank her
for coming into my life
even though she left so soon
i can be happy that i got a part of her
i don’t have to cover my scars
the scars that i made
the ones that people couldn’t look at
they show what wars i’ve fought with myself
but they are fading
and i’m still standing strong
stronger than ever
i can appreciate the life i was given
even though i was a mistake
you can make something great out of one
and my parents didn’t get to
stay around to see me grow up
but my mom did
and she would tell the whole **** world
and i’m the greatest mistake
that was ever made

Take a minute.
Take a breath.
In...
...
...
Out...
...
...
Look around you.
Look outside.
Look at the sky.
Smile.
Smell the air.
Dance a jig.
Wave at a stranger.
And continue on with life.
While contemplating the beauty of simplicity in the world.