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Lexi Mar 2018
It starts with the thought:
I    want     to     cry.
It's stupid. Let's not do this, not today. Not over some stupid guy.
(He's no where close to being stupid)
A hot tear slides down your cheek, There is no turning back.
Your breathing changes, your chest starts to hurt.
Your lying in bed comforted by the surrounding pitch black
I can not move I don't know why
Crying and shaking uncontrollably
I am paralyzed.
You don't want to move, you don't want to think, you don't know what you want but your on the brink.
It's getting dangerous you have to calm down. Your thoughts are unrealistic, your heart is lying.
Now all you can picture is your death scene and what it would be like to be finally dying.
  Mar 2018 Lexi
Vanessa Escopin
Don’t fall in love with me.
There are days when I get sad without a reason and I just stare at the ceiling with tears streaming down my face.

Don’t fall in love with me.
On those days, I don’t talk to anyone. I just bury myself in my bed and think about how I became this mess of sadness.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I will become attached to you and I will cry myself to sleep if you don’t text me good night before you go to sleep and I will convince myself that it’s because you got tired of me.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I’m too much. I will depend on you. I need attention, much more than other people. I’ll talk to you in metaphors and make you one. I’ll write poems about you and opening up my skin at 2 A.M.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I couldn’t stand you coming home to find me on the bathroom floor shaking and crying, with blood spilling from my wrists. I couldn’t stand seeing the disappointment in your eyes.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I will pour everything I’ve left of me into you, every bit of love, until I have nothing to give. Until I become completely empty.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I’m scared that my sadness is contagious.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I will replay your sweet words in my head when I hate myself so much that I want to die. Your words will be the only thing that make me stay.

Don’t fall in love with me.
You will live in fear. You won’t be able to leave me, because you’d know if you did, I wouldn’t have anything to live for.

Don’t fall in love with me.
Before I met you, there wasn’t a single person who could’ve made me stay. You’re my reason now.

Don’t fall in love with me.
Because I will fall in love with you.
By: Unknown writer
Lexi Mar 2018
This girl has a mind as beautiful and big as the world and in the world her fantasies dance, coming to life like an amusement park switch turned on.
Colours and objects and happy kids faces.
But like every amusement park in all the books and all the movies.. It became abandoned. The paint becomes chipped, the rides come to a stop. The fantasies dull and the world begins to crumble.
I have no clue what this is. But feel free to like haha
Lexi Mar 2018
Loving you will **** me,
but It's a price I will pay.
To watch and see
how it unravels, and what we say.
Maybe we'll adopt some kids and be happy,
Or i'll move on and get married some day.
Perhaps, without you my love, I'll never know joy.
All I know for certain is loving you will **** me someday.
Lexi Feb 2018
she is a runner, no one quite knows her for she always has one foot planted, ready to run if things turn for the worse.
She runs from the unknown and the problems she has, she runs from the boy she loves because she's going to get hurt.
That's who she is, that's what she's become. Her mind is a bully but she never called quits.
  Feb 2018 Lexi
April
Am I always going to be in her shadow?
Am I always going to be somebody's second choice?
Am I always going to feel this way?
Am I always going to make mistakes?
Am I always going to do stuff so that my parents don't trust me?

What did I do to deserve this?
To feel this way?
I don't like this feeling.
I hate feeling this way.
I hate feeling like I want to **** myself, or that I don't deserve anything, or that I am a mistake. I hate it.
  Feb 2018 Lexi
jayant om
You were that devastating thunderstorm
which, was the most beautiful tragedy happened to me
we are not together now, as it was never on the cards.
nothing is fine and I am worst without you
I don't want you anymore (I say)
I need you, in every step (I know)
You were that endless joy
which is now endless pain
I tried to forget all the moments spent with you
and, ended up in, remembering you all the times
those also were tears which never came out from my eyes
the pain was also that which I never told.

I remember all those dreams
which, we wove together
they were lovely.

I remember the soft touch of your lips, that naïve shamelessness  
I remember everything
I remember all that happened
I remember all the things

I remember that rain in which,
we got drenched together
there was a flame inside us
while we were soaked (In the droplets of rain)
what was that carelessness,
In those moments spend together which passed, yet not passed

I remember such evenings (we spent together)  
when you slept by my side
I kept looking at you,
I remember everything
I remember all that happened
I remember all the things
I am that broken glass which never binds
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