My mind is like a cave
thoughts are the monsters hiding inside
they tempt me
whisper things in my ear
pull me in by the noose around my neck
and then drown me in doubt

I can't see anything properly
dust clouds my vision
I'm being dragged deeper
until I can't see the light

I'm alone
I'm going in circles trying to find my way out
I try to call out but I'm stopped
the shame is suffocating
I can't see
I cant breath
I cant call for help
But I can't do it alone

The smoke is gone
I yell
I scream
I cry
I run
I fall

Someone pulls me up
they take me out to the light
they pull off the noose
and we talk
and we cry
and we walk
and then I hear a whisper

a pen
in my hand
touched the paper
and spilled out my emotions haphazardly

then i put the paper
in a glass bottle
sealed it with a cork
and pitched it into the deep ocean

You said you'd always love me
I didn't know always meant until
you got bored.

I remember the feeling.
Like I was getting rid
Of every foul thing inside me.
I would feel so-
Empty.
But at the time
It was better than feeling everything.
And sometimes I would just lay there
And I would cry.
I was so ashamed
Of my bathroom coping mechanisms.
Brush my teeth
So the acid wouldn't make them yellow.
Appearances seemed to be important.
Had to be thin,
Had to be empty.

I didn't realize then
That I was wasting away
That there was another way
To purge my feelings.
But I know now.
I know now.

You saved me.

We fight just to make up
We make up just to fight

i remember crying
asking him to stop
as he held me down
face in a pillow
some people call this
*******
probably because
they know
men are dogs

The walls around me
are tight
They close in.

A seemingly endless maze
of monochrome
full of sharp turns

A piece of the sky
I look up upon
Bright and blue

Not unlike you.

Yes, you are my love . Your voice is the revelation that heals my heart and touches my soul. I survive on the magical letters of your words. I am gifted life’s air from the breath on your lips. I have become an addicted lover of the  madness of our love . I escape with you in the vast blue oceans in your eyes.I am consumed by the US of we . Yes, you are my love , and you are so much more.