It were a lie.
I could see your lips forming the words.
Before you would let them go into my ears.
It were a disgusting sound from a wonderful person.


I acted like I didn’t hear that gross lie.
Instead I heard the voices inside your mind.
Telling me everything about you, your past and future.
They gave me a vision of my future with you.


I was lying on the floor, black blood everywhere.
It wasn’t my blood, but your’s.
Sneaking in my veins, of my precious red blood.
I felt like you, I thought like you… I died like you.


I hated that lie you told me.
“I would never harm you, ever.”
It traveled around my brain, into the deepest places.
For it to stay and holding me awake.


My ocean of thoughts.
My sea of tears.
My pools of blood.
My grave of fireflies.


I died by your hands.
By your feet.
In your blood.
In your mind.

I see things no one else do or even could.
I hear them too, whispering in my ear.
They’re haunting me in even my dreams.
But the one vision would never appear.


Eyelids closed, blocking off everything.
It’s a part of my life, my body, my mind.
Still I never even noticed it.
It was making me more and more blind.


One day I woke up, it was dark and freezing.
I got overwhelmed with a beautiful flashback.
It gave me the ability to see.
To see the blackest black.

I searched
the deepest depths
of the vastest oceans,
I searched way up high,
past the clouds,
in the bluest of blue skies,

I searched
deep in the hearts
of nature's greenest forests...
It turns out,
that I was carrying it within me
all along - only now, do I realise.

By Lady R.F ©2016

The spiderweb catches glistening water
jewels in the newborn sunlight.

Going to the same place.
Staying there for a long time.
Waiting for you to come by.
And place your body besides mine.


I would talk to myself.
Imagine it’s with you.
Placing my hand where your’s always were.
Not together anymore like we used to.


Still waiting for your warmth.
Making my whole body melt before your eyes.
You would whisper in my ear “I’ll stay”.
Hugging me until the sun would rise.


I don’t know how long since I’ve seen you.
With my hands playing with your hair.
Telling each other things none ever have heard.
The precious times we would share.


The bell inside my head rang.
Reminding me of your sorrowful fate.
I stared into the ground.
I knew I couldn’t just stand and wait.


I ran while calling your name.
The tears blurred my vision to see.
I fell.
Deep down the Memories of you and me.

I don’t know what to do anymore.
I've been running all my life.
Not even once did they catch up.
But the end of my time is near.


I can feel their presence.
Sneaking from corner to corner.
Hiding in the deepest space of darkness.
For only the blind eye to see.

Turning around after the light.
Seeing shadows in the corner of my eye.
I always keep repeating the same mistake.
I’m forever trying to escape.


They held my hand through tough times.
They would be there for me.
But now they left me like everyone else.
They did it because of my bad habit.


Watching me in dark times.
Hitting me till I can’t stop bleeding.
I hate them, but they love me.
I could never understand it.


I always tell the truth.
That’s why it’s me getting left behind.
Like a piece of rotten flesh.
No one would ever come near me.


I could fall deep down into isolation.
For only my body to wither.
Bones sticking out from my skin.
Laying in my own tears, regretting it all.


My heart would slowly crack and turn my eyes to ice.
Turn my blood to nothing.
They told me to take care of their friends.
They forced themselves into my life.


I could never understand what all these things were.
I was drowning in them.
Felt like a new person after the party.
A Party Of Emotions.