How many times can I write a "break up" poem?

Screaming into my empty pages,

"This is it,
                  I'm finally
                                      DONE. " 

I still don't leave, though,
Of course I don't.
Is this what its like to be crazy?
You're the only place I know.
        
Am I insane?
Whos to say?


If you ask me, I wasnt always this way.
I'm almost sure of it.

But if I'm insane, how would I even tell?

For all I know,
I could be in an asylum right now, rocking back and forth in a corner,
just talking to myself.

How would I even know?
Could I even guess?


The terrifying part is,
I wouldn't.

Crazy people never realize they are crazy,
Do they?

So maybe none of this is real. ...

...Maybe HE'S not real...

Maybe we never fell in love,
never had our child,
never planned our future together.

But that was all before the abuse.

                       ...The abuse..... 

                        Was that even real?
I'm not sure anymore...

   Maybe it wasnt.
Maybe, we never even met.

Well if thats the case, and we never met,
I guess thats good.

Because never meeting me, is what you told me you wished for,

right?

                    ...Or...
                    I don't  know.
Did you?

All the ways my heart broke,
in the time that I was yours.
With every fracture of my soul,
my memory obscures.
As I sit beside you now,
in this empty room.
I realize that I am done.
But do you feel it too?
It is a heavy feeling,
deep inside my chest,
sinking down to fill the void,
and giving me no rest.
You say that you won't lose me,
but I fear that it's to late.
Cuz it was only after I walked away,
that you begged for me to stay.
I am done with cheaters,
So just stop acting like you're hurt
Its getting to be ridiculous
Remember you left me first.
You made that choice to walk away,
you chose her not me.
So now you can live with what you've done,
You got your wish,
                                     you're free.

I tore a small piece of star-lit sky,
right from a summers night.
I turned it into a drawstring bag
to hold these last things tight.
I gathered up sunlit memories
of much more happy times,
colored with both our smiles,
They were from the time when you were mine.
I placed the memories in the bag,
and thought for just a moment.
Of silent cuddles and forehead kisses,
and all the days when we weren't broken.
I placed those thoughts next to the memories,
in my stary bag.
As I sang the song you'd sung to me,
whenever I was sad.
As my voice carried out the words,
Of "you'll be in my heart".
I dropped them a little bit recklessly,
and they almost fell apart.
I took those precious moments of love,
And with them added one last thing in there.
A little piece of notebook paper,
marked with the promises we'd shared.
Our life, our plans, and dreams of family.
The future that we had planned.
All gathered up together now
in that stary bag.
I took it to the beach last night.
just before sunrise,
I prepared to do what I'd never done,
Tears began to fill my eyes.
And then right before I let it go
into the oceans rush,
I added one last simple kiss,
to the bag that held the
                                             last
           ­                             of
                                                us.

I gather up all the tiny shards,
pieces of my broken heart.
And hold them oh so carefully,
so they don't further fall apart.
I wrap them so very tightly,
in what I think is love.
And I whisper to them so no one hears,

"I promise that you're enough."