I feel like when I write,
my concepts begin to disconnect.

I start with the old and end with the older
nothing seems proportionate.

But maybe that's how my life (and my poems)
are suppose to be written out.

Beginning with one adventure, and ending with another.

The silence of your absence terrifies me.
My eyes weaken when you leave.
I’m gone.
I disappear.
I’m no longer within myself or anyone else.
Simply Forgotten

I waited for you,
You ran further away.


The end.

Temptations teach us how to suffer from a smile.
They teach us how to endure
to persevere
and to overcome.
They take your greatest weakness,
and transform it into your greatest strength.

That's all you were.
You were my temptation.
You changed me.
You "gifted" me with a transformation
that wasn't even for me,
it was to give you what you always wanted.
I was your doll.

Until the new one came one out.
Bright, shiny, and new.

You abandoned me, into the pit of your rigorous heart,
forcing medown, it didn't take long to reach the bottom.
All of your other dolls were underneath me.
Their stares all screamed, "I told you so"
and I shattered.
Solitary, and alone.
Broken.

When your heart is broken,
there is no automatic cure.
Your internal grief will grow,
and will never go away,
just slowly become easier to deal with.

Days, and months will pass.
As a smile rises on your face,
a gently curved plastic,
only to hold those who know nothing.

They sit on your swing,
pumping their legs
forward, backward.
But they only rarely move.
Their movements are forced,
by the showers of tears, and expeditious winds.

The heart ache is stable.
Yet will eventually go numb,
nothing will ever be able to cause the same immense pain.
The guards rise up,
neglecting connections.
Flirt.
Smile.
Fake it until you make it.

You will hear the crowds telling us over and over,
"It WILL be ok".
I'm here to tell you it won't.
Never.
So, find useless distractions.

Falling for a new season
The leaves with its monochromatic moments
Of accelerating fall
Finding a new pathway and following
Overcoming more obstacles
and never looking back
You were my new season.
I fell for you.

I lived in your forested eyes
before my oceanic eyes even knew the beauty,
ones pupils could hold.
You were the love
I longed and hoped for,
my fairy tale was you.
We were just stuck in the wrong part of our timelines.
A single moment that would never allow our fairy tale
to have the right ending.

Eventually,
I left your forested eyes,
knowing every pattern surrounding your iris.
I love you.
Why can't I tell you now?
I'm too late.

Maybe it wasn't meant to be...

It's spiraling into the core of my brain.
I want to cry for help,
but you're my only medication.
I dial the ambulance,
but it goes to a voicemail with a familiar voice.

I lost the best thing I had ever known.
I'm sorry.