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Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2018
I know you treat me with disrespect
Because I don't respect myself
I want you to know I have the same wish you do
For me to change into somebody else.
Did it occur to you that you're not the only one unhqppy with the way I am? Because I dislike myself even more than you do. Then I hate myself for not being able to change.
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2018
Someday we will know perfection
We will meet eachother like we are meeting for the first time
Face to face with fears
Touch our bodies like we are feeling skin
For the very first time
Written 2-18-15
  Aug 2018 Amanda Kay Burke
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Hiding the hurt, hiding the pain
Hiding the tears that fall like rain.
Saying l'm fine; l'm anything but.
This ache in my soul rips at my gut.
My skin is on fire, I burn from within.
The calm on my face
is an ongoing sin.
The world must stay out,
I've built up a wall.
My fragile lie will collapse
should it ever fall
Loneliness consumes me,
It eats away the years
Until my life is swallowed
by unending fears.
Waiting for someone to see
I wear a mask
And care enough to remove it,
Is that too much to ask?
© Melissa Bernards
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2018
I miss all the small
Things you would do to show me
How much you loved me
.....
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2018
Gave me lies and excuses
Willingly welcomed them all
Because it was not worth it for me to lose you
We lost anyways, witnessed feelings fall.

Torn apart from the inside out
Ugly on surface and within
Can't erase scars you left on my heart
Like track marks on skin

Dream of a parallel universe
Think of a world where we could be
In eachothers arms forever
Every day live happily

Hunted, haunted by this unreachable dream
Shadow the only company, mocking clone
Need more than silent mimicking companion
Not your flimsy mask, rather be alone

Take me someplace we can be ourselves
An eye in tornado called life
Longing to feel free but trapped between
Peace and sudden change sharp knife

Caged by indecision
Mind racing around bedroom walls
I can't help but wonder
Did you ever care or love me at all?
I'll never know what i really meant to you
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2018
Trying to get over you but I cannot
It does not matter what I do
Walk roads in every direction
All of them lead back to you

I fill empty pages with words
It has been months since I've written about
Anything besides feelings we once shared
Greif consumes me from the inside out

It's not what I want, it's right
Did not choose to feel this way
It's hard to lose the person who
For a year talked to every day

You probably think I am pathetic
Crying after all this time
I can't help it, I tear up
Whenever I hear music by Sublime

I cannot erase the memories
Can't forget what happened in the past
I cannot be angry with you, I just wish
The days hadn't gone so fast

You have hurt me more than anyone else
Don't care that I'm broken in two
For some reason I can't explain
My heart continues to go back to you
I'd choose you, in every reality, in every dimension, I'd find you and I'd choose you.
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