butterfly you're not like the others
you're humble and earnest
you 're an ancient mystery
like the secret of beauty
and a light of hope
...
/M.A./

controlling the speed is the key
not too fast or there will be a crash
an accident with broken heart..
nor too slow or nothing will move forward
no one likes traffic jams- that weird waiting part
...
/M.A./

time have already passed
new friends came and went
flowers bloomed and died
sun and rain danced

but my mind have
its own rules
it plays memories
about you repeatedly

my mind doesn't care
that i don't like this game
it's like hide and seek
where it seem that i can't win
...
/M.A./

my first love, as i want to say
but then i wasn't old enough
to even know what love is
so my first crush
wasn't something special nor romanic
it was a boy to whom every girl was crushing
it's what i told everybody
but in reality
from time being i have always
liked boys who were not like the others
to whom none were crushing on
'cause it made me feel special
i've always been selfish
...
/M.A./

I’m happy
(I’m depressed)

I love myself
(I hate myself)

I can’t wait to live my life
(I can’t wait to die)

I am lucky to have my friends
(why do they even like me?)

I have a family who loves me
(and I continue to disappoint them)

I am an excellent student
(I can’t focus in school)

I want to travel the world
(will I even live to do that?)

I’m fine
(I’m not fine)

I’m perfectly okay
(please help me)

Each day i walk through the crowd
No one seems to notice me
When i choose to be myself
Everyone laugh, Everyone stares
Judging me, breaking me down
When i ask for help, they keep walking
When i am in pain, they stare
But when i am different
They pushed me around
When i am hurting, they stare.
Each day i walk through the crowd.
Each day i am ignored.

was five years ago

the 26th day in feb

i wasn't looking for love and I ment what I said

you would come you would go

and id try to forget

but soon you consumed

all the thoughts my head..

we first began talking

and i must confess

i wasn't going to give up

untill you said yes

was only thinking off me

at first when we met

all the others before left me full of regret

4 relationships in 8 years

what you expect

constantly trying

feeling mentally wrecked

but it's all over now

so I look back and reflect

I know your confused

I'm hot and I'm cold

but must put myself first

and remain in control

if im in doubt

then you must be told

because I really cant take,

more mistakes to unfold

but we both took things slow

as we got to know

each other better

we started to grow

there would be so many hights

some unbearable lows

but if we didn't meet

I know just where I'd be

so I want you to know

its my life that I owe..

now i reilise

there must be trust and compromise

and I do apologise

for all the secrets and the lies

all the times iv made you cry

when I look into your eyes

and see your faith in me has died

I mean it when I say....

baby i do apologise

I love you so much darlin for all that you done

you have given me a life

and you have given me my son....

you are an amazing mother

to our perfect little boy

and when we found out you were pregnant

how it filled me up with joy

and il never forget them 9 months
and what you went through when you carried

and I really cannot wait untill that date
that we get married

to love and to cherish untill death do us part

forever and always

you will never leave my heart

you left me so broken
and i kept counting my days

you left me so open
and i mourned for you to stay

you kept me for an ocean
and i drowned down and away

and it feels as if i have
just awoken,
it's such a sad day,
and i have nothing to say

so, here's my song
with my tears golden

you told me how precious
i was, until you found a place
to replace my face,

and now i feel so rotten,
so, small and forgotten

it's a vicious tale,
and the words don't fade,

your luscious hair and
brown eyes,

made me believe your
every lie,

this delicious air,
and the crowned skies

make me wither,
and it tastes bitter
more than i,


and i thought,
more than i,

is you, but it was a lie;
you were never my home,

and i can't deny,
what nobody tells you,

about the blues,
heart and the stone

it's not the love, nor hate
but the anger that fills you
once they're gone.