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May 2014 · 362
The Last Thing
jennee May 2014
The last thing I remembered was when we lit up the sky
Our eyes, they were filled with contentment and happiness
Delight, not fright and our hearts were beating with courage
I remember you holding my hand and saying
"It's finally going to be okay"
And with words that slipped, there remained a smile

Because for once, the sky was on fire
We were the heaven, and above was the hell
And earth, didn't feel like a bad place to live in after all

What remained, were two friends staring at bliss
Tasting it, savouring the flavour
Because we knew
That this happiness, will and won't, last forever

n.j.
May 2014 · 256
Untitled #04
jennee May 2014
What's worse,
Is when you're trying to hold back the tears
Then it starts to hurt
It's like fighting between suffocating
And biting in the sadness
Of the things that were always worth

n.j.
...
May 2014 · 437
But...
jennee May 2014
You're ****** up in every way
And that's what makes you more perfect
You've made mistakes day by day
But I'm always here to say you're worth it

You drank to relieve the pain
And smoked cigarettes to fill up your lungs
You covered yourself in tattoos from fingers to arms
But there's always that person reminding you of the wrong you've done

You swore to carry on
Past the judgements and mistaken looks
The ***** stayed to help and so did I
But somehow that never helped, and so your life, you took

Your smile remained, along with your love
Your laugh, your touch
Your courage was there
But something wasn't enough

You kissed me and it tasted like death
Of whiskey, recklessness and cigarettes
Your heart, it continued to beat less
But on this day, I never knew I'd be all alone because you left

You offed yourself that night
It was summer, and the moon was out
A tight rope, with relief in your eyes
You said you'd carry on
But here we are, you and I

n.j.
Fiction
May 2014 · 299
Untitled #03
jennee May 2014
You're kind of like yesterday's rain
You're gone but not completely
I can still smell you
And feel your presence
How you set foot
And left your mark
But only for a while
Before you leave for good
And come back again
Unexpected
And I hate how you
Just leave without saying
A simple goodbye
Just a reminder that
You were there
And that you'll be
Gone again

n.j.
May 2014 · 758
Cold Sheets
jennee May 2014
You kissed me on the lips
Past slurred words of "I love you"
While I was soundly asleep

It felt so real
The want and the passion
My mouth touching yours
Our breaths pacing
Thoughts filled
And time moving backwards

You kissed me last night
I swear I remember
If you didn't then
Why does my mouth still feel heavy?
From when you pressed body against body?

Your smile
Like a burning image
Ashes that scatter
Gone but clearly remembered
So real
The tension, the presence
You were there
I remember
I remember

---

I woke up with the urge
To want to hold you close to me
So I reached out
But instead held onto a hallow hole
An empty bed side and cold sheets
I needed you, the way you needed me
But I was all alone
With an empty heart,
A heartbreaking realization
That it was only a dream

n.j.
Not my best but hey, I had to because I had a dream about her again.
May 2014 · 409
Untitled #02
jennee May 2014
I need to be saved
And wake up in someone else's arms
Feeling the absoluteness of security and love
Whether be covered in tattoos or scars
I'll accept you wholeheartedly
You're every embrace and flaw
Every feature I fall in love with
And everything else in between

I promise you this

But in return would you accept
Someone in need of saving?
Someone as ****** up as me?
Someone covered in detailed flaws
And darkened scars
From thighs to wrists?

n.j.
May 2014 · 675
Imprint
jennee May 2014
Your face
Is all I remember
At the back
Of my head

Your taste
Is all I can decipher
At the tip
Of my tongue

Your smell
Is all I can inhale
Clouding up
My lungs

Everything else
Is a ******* blur

What have you done?
Apr 2014 · 709
Fiction in Hope
jennee Apr 2014
I'm in love with you
And the thought of fiction makes my heart quench for more
The thought of my fingers intertwining with yours
The thought of having your heavy hands in mine, as one
Is all I'm asking for

Your lips scented of cigarettes I crave
More than any other drug I've taken
And if I overdose from the love you gave
Then I'd rather die a life that's worth getting into your haven

The thought of getting drunk by your breath leaves me breathless
Each lick, each line that goes straight to the head
Would be enough for me to stay up all night, restless

Your veins will be the last trace of blood in me
Injected and infected like a deadly disease
The thought of having you inside of me, moving freely
Coursing throughout every inch and limb of flesh that I own
Gets me higher like ******* on ice
As cold and heavy like your hands, like stones

You will be my favourite
My favourite everything
Better than the drugs that I've taken
The liquor I've been saving
To keep me awake on Friday nights
You will be better than the *** I've been having and faking
You will be better than any other man alive

And the thought of having you is like fiction asking for hope in delusion
And hate asking for love
For another chance, another try

n.j.
I can't have him
Apr 2014 · 524
Hiroki
jennee Apr 2014
You are perfection
From your lips to your skin
Tanned body and your dedication
To music from within
The aura that bursts
Setting fire to the stage
Your fingers that play
For effortless hours and days
Dreadlocks they extend
From your shoulders
To your chest
Tattoos that cover
Your heavy fingers
With images
Your smile
That keeps me happier
Than anything else
Your recklessness
I love it, the way
You brag around and tell
--------------
But you are a musician
And I am just a girl
I watch from afar
There's always this distance
Like every other fan
In this world

n.j.
My infatuation towards this musician/band member
Apr 2014 · 677
Untitled #01
jennee Apr 2014
My hands are cold
And lonely like my soul
My lips are untouched
Craving for a kiss, wanting more
My body itches
Waiting for you to be by my side
My life is dull without you
Because you are the center
And love of my life

n.j.
Apr 2014 · 548
Acceptance
jennee Apr 2014
Hands sweating, holding and touching
Eyes locked, looking at each other, breaths pacing
Locks of hair intertwining
In disbelief, his tanned skin pressed closer, combining
Teeth gritting, kisses trailing, tongues dancing
Lust exploding, bare bodies, legs spreading, entrances reopening
Closed eyes, his and mine, *** smelt and rising
Tattoos felt, past slashes on thighs, all the care and concern sinking in

Things going fast, but the clock taken aback, wincing, screaming but keeping it in
Forever turned into the past, our bodies collapsed, and I knew by then he accepted me

Lullabies into whispering, my body on top of him, fingers playing, a friend to a friend
Hands sweating, holding then touching
Ear to chest, hearts locked, looking at each other again

n.j.
Apr 2014 · 588
Population: Me
jennee Apr 2014
Take a look inside my head
It's like a whole new world
But it's a mess
It's not different from the world you live
But here I'm all alone, population: me and nothing else to give

There you've got problems and with people to care
Sometimes they take problems for granted but at least you have someone there
To listen, to love, to hurt and to ignore
Either way, it's alright. You have someone worth looking after for

Here I've got me, myself and I but sadly in this world, that's never enough
I don't have someone to love, to ignore, to listen to, or to hurt
I'm left with my own thoughts
With no choice but to walk on my own grave, this dirt

I am the solution of my own pain
If I choose to, I could stay happy for days
But there's no point when you're stuck in solitude
With two mountains on both shoulders, I'm still forced to move

So let's trade worlds, dearest passer by I plead
Don't leave me alone with demons that can cut and bleed
Problems with no solutions, nothing ahead
Just me, and a magnificent scenery of death

n.j.
Apr 2014 · 421
Everything
jennee Apr 2014
She was everything compared to the moon and back
She was beautiful, more beautiful than the sun, lacking its brightness by each day
Warmer than any cup of coffee ever made
Elegant like the flowers, born to sway by each spring morning, each day
Her feet barely touched the ground because she was too afraid that she’d make a sound and startle the trees that soundly fell asleep to her beauty
Every break of autumn morning, she would try to recollect the leaves that have fallen and gather them together in the hallow trunk, all peeled off and old, dead
During the summers, she was the waves that crashed every second by the shore
Her pale skin, were the grains of sand, set foot by man, and she knew how much they’ve traveled to get to the shore, judging by their soles
She was the source of warmth, throughout the span of winter
Warmer than any cup of coffee every made
Warmer than torn, broken and shredded parts of wood put together
But as cold and frozen, like the snow of tears that have fallen by from the recollection of clouds
She was enough, to melt everything away and replace the winter by day
Brighter and more beautiful than the sun, that’s lacking its brightness by every second and slowly, dying, fading away
She could shine brighter than any sun that has ever been born, because she was the seasons, all together
The sand, the trees, the flowers, the snow, the fire, the warmth, the water
She was as heavenly as could ever be
Everything that illuminated from the stars and the skies above
She was the future, past and present and will always be
And when the earth has gone and faded into grey, like the speck of stardust that it used to be
She will be the universe, the earth, the sand, the trees, the flowers, the snow, the fire, the warmth and the water
She will be everything in between
But her feet will never touch the ground because she will be too afraid, to make a sound and startle the universe, that will fall asleep soundly to her beauty

n.j.
A poem about a girl that I like
Apr 2014 · 611
Wonderlust
jennee Apr 2014
We sat at the end of the stairway
Outside your house past your garden’s gate
Our lips moved whilst exchanging words
Our gaze was vast beyond what ears are heard
My outlines remained shivering and unstill
We talked and talked draining our hearts once filled
Our lips ran dry, craving for water’s bliss
You then took my empty heart and leaned in for a kiss
You parted, leaving me immensely wanting for more
I held your hand and it pricked me like a thousand thorns
Blood started pumping through and past my veins
Into your chest, into your heart infected with pain
I didn’t let go to you holding on
Your lips stopped moving, your words drifted, it was done
I touched you once more, pressing mouth against mouth
Severing heart, this hurt more than our lips filling in the drought
You pulled closer; it struck harder, slashing past before my skin
I took hold of you, trying to stay stronger, mouth deeper than sin
Hand in hand, it was sinking in; I’m falling down the rabbit hole again
The stairway was gone, the gate, the roses, you were still there but I’ve lost a friend
The garden gnome, he held the clock, time was slowly ticking away
Bodies side by side, our hearts then stopped, it had almost seemed like it’s been days
She and I, once innocent, now bare, with no more dignity to hide
She whispered “come on Alice, don’t give up, we’re got our hearts to find”
Scourged skin, torn dresses, unpredictably she smiled
She said “I haven’t been this scared in a long time; it’s been quite a while”
Our footsteps grew distant yet the clock continued to tick
She lifted two roses obliviously, her eyes followed to the one I picked
She held it close to her lips, sliding the stem past before her skin
Blood started streaming down, there’s more than there has ever been
Wounds started to unstitch, scars started reopening
And with the greyest of eyes and the rose between her mouth, it slowly started unfurling
She gave me the slightest smirk and approached me with an embrace
I felt her warm touch draining inside me, the rose pricking me through
And the was the last time, I ever saw her face

n.j.
Alice in Wonderland inspired
Apr 2014 · 704
Absense
jennee Apr 2014
A sunflower that blooms without the sun
A silhouette that lingers along the walls
Without a figure, eavesdropping, wanting for more
A sense of taste without bitterness, sweetness nor contentment
A presence that stood still amongst the crowd
A lost soul forgotten by the bus
Another day, sulking in resentment
A scent that was never there, just a person with a lonely heart
Waiting for comfort, until the day, they finally fall apart
A smile left hanging by a thread
A goodbye less, a long lost hug from a friend
Another half to fill the empty space between two arms
Fingertips that caress unmended scars
Faded, torn, unintended, absent, belittled, irrelevant
Another breathing human less
Another life, crushed and torn into shreds

n.j.
Apr 2014 · 774
A Game
jennee Apr 2014
I'm just your regular girl
I grow tired every now and then
Sometimes I get up when I've fallen
Sometimes I stay down and play pretend

A little game of forced smiles
And holding in the things they've said
A little game of hide and seek
Between my itching skin
And the monsters in my head

I'm always used to this
C'mon now, I play this everyday
But no matter how many times I've tried
I always lose
And, Losers get a hold of the blade

Funny isn't it?
How you thought you could enjoy such games
Lose or win, I get to play the survivor
With a couple of overlapping scars and spaces
And chances of playing another game
Of Pretend

n.j.

— The End —