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You never did manage to see
The final nail on the casket nor
The 9 years it has taken me
To unweave it from my crown of thorns

You say you shout you scream
You could not have foretold
The bullet I held clenched between my teeth
Heavy to the touch, heavy and unbearably cold
Not as I my mouth became a steal barrel,
Not as it came racing out
Not as it came to meet your creased forehead's third fold

I shake with loss
I shiver with relief
My silver armor melts away and evaporates into flesh
The life you had left ahead of you was anyway brief
Unlike the fruits you stole from my long life that once lay ahead of me
An ugly, loud, rampant, hobbling thief

I leave my pills to you
For all the times I failed
Trying bleed your blood out from my wrists
Bullet blown, skeletons thrown, casket nailed
I walk back up the stairs light as a feather
A crested crow, my wings unfurled, a crested crow unveiled
Jamesb Dec 2023
Is something I can teach,
At sea or on land,
Use of a compass
And a parallel rule,
Dividers and a plotter,
All to find out where I am
Where I wish to be
And what course to steer,

In matters of the heart,
Also - as do we all -
I do my best to plot
A course to best effect,
But lately I have been
All at sea in darkness,
Steering by dead reckoning,
And raw blind hope,

A nerve racking
Time sailing blind,
Unaware how sands may shift,
How deep the seas or shallow,
How far away the land,
Until now at last the sun has risen,
The darkest hour has passed,
And you my darling destination
Are right across my bow
Sailors will get this. Maybe someone "out there" will too. I hope so.
Jamesb Dec 2023
I have stood my watch
On a warships bridge,
Steered a yacht under sail
Beneath a star studded sky,
Stood to an hour before sunrise
In military training,
So I have seen the dark,

In love too I have
Been a source of shadow
And been shaded on,
Sailed close to the wind
And indeed capsized,
Been cold and lonely in
A darkness greater than any
Night time,

But every dark yields
Before the dawn
Of a brand new day,
Every night founders
As the sun rises
To banish the lightless,
And this heart's darkness too has passed,
But this dawn is the brightest

And the best

I

Ever

Knew
Lacey Clark Dec 2023
I never knew the grief I could feel from letting the sun-drenched clouds cradle me.  Looking below is a city I am familiar with, in all of its muted colors and sluggish movements like a worn-down machine. It's hard to feel the open sky's liberation while glaring into the morose solemnity below. The sun's warmth seeps through my skin while my tears grow heavy and fall, first a drop, then a release while the humidity billows up. In this suspended moment, I see gold lining the buildings and the leaves sparkle below. I start to dissolve as I see the  warm, gilded picture of everything, all at once. I feel at ease and dissolve until all I hear is a collective sigh.
don't get wrapped up in the weather
George Krokos Nov 2023
When the loss of a loved one causes you much grief
and so you can’t for a while seem to find any relief,
it’s very likely that you have been too long attached
and possessiveness must now be in ways dispatched.
_______
From 'The Quatrains' ongoing writings since the early 90's
Sadie Grace Jan 22
In this world, you will have troubles
painful troubles leaving you empty
they tempt me to indulge in temporary pain relief
You know it in the form of liquid, pills, or razor blades
Soon the luster fades and I’m left with the same pain that brought me here and then some
New scars don’t fade
New addictions I can’t break
Am I here by mistake?
What I used to numb my pain turned into just another source of it
In this world, you will have troubles
It’s ok
"I have overcome this world of pain"
"In this world you will have troubles, but take heart for I have overcome the world." JOHN 16:33
Malia Oct 2023
𝘞𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘴𝘩
I sigh as I breathe again,
Finally, I finally
Made it out.
Made it through.
The storm’s behind me
And even if
I see another one brew
I know
I 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 what I can do.
That I can do
Everything.
Devil Atticman Oct 2023
Do as you might, you
Cannot sully the beauty
For me; you'll add some.
Louise Sep 2023
They are both orange or gingers, as in my dreams
both crazy and funny, like you and me
and in our faces, in the morning, they won't scream.

In the apartment we'll never split rent together,
between the rooms we'll never kiss in
the kitchen we'll never cook in, not for each other.

The litter boxes we won't take turns to clean
the food bowls we won't refill, like you and I never did
wiping mirrors until they glisten and gleam
and looking back now, it's a relief indeed

The bills we won't compute, pay and solve,
the fights that we'll never have.
I find comfort in our inexistent marital issues
and the divorce that we'll never have to encounter.
There's joy and pain in every relationship that ends. Grief and relief for every connection that's not meant to be.
Lacey Clark Sep 2023
i keep a tight grip around
everything that hurts
i keep asking my therapist
"how do we let go?"
and what does that even mean?
she says
to only allow yourself
maybe 10-20 minutes
to think about all these things
and inhale
I never realized I had that power
to do that
and exhale
A draft from 2020. Pandemic feelings. and revisiting this in therapy again. now. and again. always
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