I smile at the falling rains,
But cry within,
Letting the cold drops wash my tears
Before the dawn of the sun

I walk with my head raised high,
But,
with a withering spirit,
I stride along a lone path

This life,
A voyage on the sea
Amidst ripples and waves,
Searching for a significance

With the winds against my sails
Broken,
The mast,
and the compass

So I bury my grief,
Casting my eyes unto the stars
That even though my moon hides,
I sail

And to my grave,
Shall I carry my scars,
With these bleeding wounds,
To heal on the far beyond

A moving ridge,
Rattling,
The quiet of the night
With sizzling winds,
Whispering hollos from an inferno

Flames,
Boiling skin,
Molten nails
Flaring silhouettes
Of skulls with red eyes

The friends in my head,
Crouching in a corner,
Giggling,
The blood on my hands
Another soul, to be saved

I dread the night
For its shadow too dark

Am lost, lone,
Within fabrications of a happiness

That even when I attempt,
This heart is but a dump

Working with the waste,
Of my varying emotions

Are there any?
Bored, Sad,

Angry, hate,
And a dominant pain

Sometimes numb,
Just another being

Skirting these empty streets
Of cheerful blurry faces

What is happiness?
Or do we only come to know pain?

Cause that I feel so well,
The depth of its fears,

To hate to love,
And love to die

Cause sometimes,
I just feels like it

Laying inside corners of a casket
Or ashes in a jar

Emptied into the sea,
To feel your soul sink

in a drowning darkness,
Suffocating in the mind

Chocking on thoughts,
Regret, a longing,

Of the past,
To correct, or enjoy

The flash of life,
That blows out like a candle flame

A darkness engulfs my heart
Devouring it's fibers
One big chunk at time

Am lost of a soul,
But a wondering spirit,
With a decaying body

I hate to love,
Love to ****,
And **** for joy

I make bed in a den,
Where my head rests on skulls
Drowning in this pool of a nightmare

A young maiden,
Blooming,
With fair skin

Long dark hair
Swimming,
In a wooden bath

She smells of roses,
Standing within a flaring curtain
White, and lucid

She drips of innocence
Walking unto me
On the oak floor

She leaves tiny prints
Of her ****** feet,
Towards a canopy bed

Where white sheets fall
Like a stream onto the floor
With dotted petals of red

She climbs unruffled,
With a cordial smile
But salacious stare

Crawling slowly
To find my lips,
Kissing lightly

Feeling her cold,
Tingle my warm skin,
About the *****

Before laying gently
Her head on my chest
My hand about her shoulder

Humming to a heart's beat
The hymn of the fallen ones
The tale of a blood brother

I want to taste your breath
Feel it warm between breaks
As we sigh from ecstasy

Gentle, tender
Caressing tongues
Biting your lips

In the dark,
With the mind's eye
Searching your curves

Within whispers and hymns,
Echoes and silence,
Rolling with the beat,

Of a pounding heart,
Rushing blooding
And tingling skin

Where scents blend,
Of flesh and soul,
To become, but one

A brilliant star
In a milky way
The fairest of all

And the distance between,
Kept their bodies apart
But not their hearts
Wondering,
In dreams of a fantasy
That befell upon each,
Every night,
As they both stared,
Throughout the midnight hour

We all know shame and understand to avoid it when necessary. But sometimes, we just walk down her street and hope the world would forget.
Do they forget? Or do you forget? The unexplainable embarrassment of the year.

Yeah! My case was a shame of the year and this is how it happened.

My grandma, "a hajat" runs a retail shop along a highway in some small town. It faces a rising sun which I enjoy bathing on the cold days.
I greet her, grab a chair, place it onto the verandah as soon as she opens her doors to the shop.

She is a tough person to read really. Unlike most elderly ladies who give a cozy feeling while talking to them, she freaks me out. Like she doesn't like me. Or for some reason, hates me and just blurs me in her mind's eye. And I think I did give her a reason to.


About eight months ago, I came to live next to her, at my own place in my own first home. A single room, rented, along a muddy road (cause it's raining now) off the highway. The building is one block away from where the shop is. So if the shop faces north, my room would face the east.


I should say I didn't know her until that time. Like we had not seen each other until then, and until she sold me a three litre Jerry can for I think triple the price, Ugshs 3500. And then, she gave me a reason to go to other shops. It was expensive even in my own ignorance since I had never done shopping for household items before.
So I tried other shops and bought a five litre jerry can at Ugshs2500. I was happy. It felt like money well spent. That I was a genius finally in control of my first days in the real world, away from home and school.
But at the same time, a wrong or the best idea of never to buy from her again. I mean, if family is to be exploited by you, am sorry grandma, I ain't going to be part of your legacy.


So the sneaky dealings started like I was buying drugs from another dealer and had to be sure she never comes to know. Not that she would do anything, but really it would look weird.

My new dealer would be a shop along the same highway, on the same side, just a one block away from the grandma's left.  A she of course, who undeniably is beautiful. A gracious voice and radiant smile, offering to do way good stuff if I buy from her. Like she sorts my rice so I take ready to cook and eat. Which of course my grandma, wouldn't do. And again, she is beautiful.


Anyway I usually peeked at the verandah to see if grandma wasn't there, then walk like a boss to my dealer whom am so proud to buy from. And this was just smooth until, I can't even say...


It was a normal black out, just a few candle lights from the still open shops, and flashing lights of passing vehicles. The sky was dark enough for the  many visible stars that dotted it's canvas. And this guy, myself, chooses to take a walk, masking the night, thinking about my own duties till I come close to my dealer's shop, "mama Mariam" that I remembered I had a pickup to do.

It was dark and if that wouldn't have been the best time, then there wouldn't have been any better. She was not on her verandah, but dumping ******* into a "pit." so I took hold of the moment and made the pickup. I didn't ask for a wrapping for my 1kg of rice and turned to leave the shop.

And duh, lights everywhere. To be specific, light above my head. Electricity was back from its normal routines as it always is in developing countries. Very bright. Probably a new bulb. Looking across me, grandma standing on the verandah looking back at me. With my spoils in my hands, I swear I wished to be anywhere else but not there. I was drowning literally in my mind that I froze for sometime. May be a minute or two. Until I went back into the shop and asked for a wrapping before walking shamefully with my head low.

It was the worst I had ever felt in a long time. Wait, the worst that I still do feel. So guilty that I have been avoiding my morning sun bath.

And when I did see her, she replied to me like nothing had happened. Huh? Nothing?!
Just with her stale face like before which could mean she always knew I bought from that shop. Or worst, "I don't care. You can go to hell grandson. You are a sellout."

And to the moment I write this, I still feel her stale eyes, hear her raspy voice like echoes from a nightmare that am never to wake up from, taunting me like a ghost.

Grandma, am sorry. But she is a pretty  lady the stole me from you. Please just understand why I had to do this. It was a tough decision that took seconds to make and would probably do the same until you start selling a bit cheaply. Wait, even if you did, she is a pretty woman and that's a good reason to keep buying from


And again, am sorry! Love you!

I feel the cold of the morning
And I know of your heart's longing

You wanna roll with me?
For that's fine by me

How about we do this all day
Forgetting woes of your yesterday

Drying wounds and tears
Far away from your fears

Making love under the rain,
To ease your soul's pain

For sometimes life is happiness,
Even within one's weakness

That in the arms of a darling
forever is never changing

Mother had a ship,
With a white canvas falling,
Stretched by the winds of life

We enjoyed her deck,
Watching the apparent horizon,
With it's colours of the sunset,

Darkness faded in dearly,
With the gentle waves rocking us,
Listening to her lullabies of the sea

Of gods and monsters
Kings and queens
Under the lamp of the moon

Some nights were cold,
But her woven cloaks,
Always wrapped our little souls

And when we were hungry,
It was the grains,
Rice from a lost island,

The southern sea,
Merry faces,
Drunk on fish soup

What would a boy need?
Else jumping over the board,
To bath in the salty waters

Of course she wouldn't,
Keeping her dear ones so close,
In her arms of love

Until, one night,
Violent skies
Raging clouds

Howling thunder
Within flashes of lightening
And soaring waves

Slapping the ship's floors,
Breaking her mast,
Within squeaking wood

To finally split,
Choking on gushing waters,
Within our muted screams

Below, it was gloomy
The walls of death,
Closing in fast

Not a good bye,
A last kiss
Or hug

But a freeing soul,
Rising to the heavens,
Before a yank

Up,
Gasping for air,
my head peering,

Above the water,
Briefly,
And diving again,

To feel my lungs shrink,
As I sunk deeper,
To the gates of hell

But, a plank
That my hand took hold of
Pulling it to my chest,

In one tight embrace
Dancing to a turbulent rhythm
The hymn of the brave

To finally watch the sunrise
From below,
Up the endless fabric of a blue sky

Swimming, lone,
Following a lost map
In the vast sea of the living

I saw the waves,.
Rising,
Roaring
Foaming
The clouds dark,
Throwing bolts of lightening
painting the night
It was a tiny boat,
Sunken oars,
smiling at life,
For the wonderful timing
Shutting my eyes slowly,
To awake into,
A tranquility of blue waters

The night dawns with it's coldness
And am afraid of the dark,
Will you come lay with me?
Next to me
On this,
The 14th,
Of the second month
I call you mine
Happy Valentine's

It would be the 11th
Six seconds off a midnight,
Within sounds of a ticking clock,
And howls of hungry dogs

Your breath,
like the wind,
Warming my chest
At the tempo of your heart

How delicate and calm,
The lines on your face,
That smile when you sleep,
A sunrise in the night

That I would wish,
To watch,
Till the first rays of the morrow,
Colour your tender skin

I stand tall in day,
But crash within your arms
This thumping heart,
The evidence of my flaw

A beautiful flaw,
To know love,
To understand her ways,
And finally feel whole.

Thank you love,
Good morning

The tears from my heart,
Fill the pages of this plea

Words of a broken man,
Who awakes to a lost love

Standing on cliff,
And calling to death

If this life feels like death itself,
Why live if I can't be yours?

Knowing you love someone else,
But failing to understand this aching

if I ain't yours,
Then why long for your breath?

A heart thing
Speaking a language I don't understand

A senseless falling,
Into the arms of one to stab me

Why feel so right?
But so wrong

Sad eyes wink in the dark,
Frozen hair masking his face
The lines of grey,
Around his chin to the temples,
Telling stories of his past,
Silently folding on a moldy cardboard
With a running nose
bleeding on the street

So I stayed awake,
last night,
Couldn't sleep
Kept thinking
About us,
How far we've come,
And how far I wish,
Praying,
We could walk together

Hand in hand,
Silent,
happy,
Smiley hearts
Around a rose garden
Chasing a twilight,
a firefly,
Under a full moon
Within kissing leaves
Whispering hymns of the wind

Maybe
Melodies of change,
Sweeping like plague,
Devouring our souls,
Into an oblivion,
Where our hearts beep for another
Not for me,
Or for you,
our thoughts,
far from our memories
This dread, quaking

The old shatter hand
That smashed our hearts,
Crushed our bones,
And tore our tendons

It's mighty blows of death,
Casting our sorry souls,
In the land of despair
Sleeping on our howls

Sunken eyes, falling hair,
Peeling flesh, black teeth,
Decaying nails,
And a growling belly

The cover of the night,
Hiding from the shame of the sun,
And cheerful faces of the malicious
Whose hearts you blessed
With our woes of desperation

Why so wild?
Shutting your ears to our requests
But not our cries,
What pleasure do you find in our misery?

For no good or bad would sway your will,
And not our past or future,
Weighs the blessing of the present
So, why hide your face from us?

I've travelled the dark,
Accepted it's cover,
Over my transgressions

Do I regret?
No
Would I repent?

She left,
And I chased her shadow,
The blood on my toes

Trod on skulls,
And drunk on weak souls
As she slipped further

Her skirts like the horizon,
On an open sea,
Before turbulent waves swept in

To find reason,
To live,
To know pain

To live the hustle,
To forget  joy,
the warmth of the sun

The future paints no more,
Than a greyish cloud on a sunset
When our eyes shut slowly,
To inhale the present,
That she was no more

Under a shade of a closed room,
Pages, and ink,
Dots of a scattered mind,
Scribblings on the wall
And painting on the ceiling
The bruises on her skin
The scars of her dying heart
And the shadow of her soul,

Daddy's little princess
A face blurred,
In a bed of nightmares
When he sneaked in,
Marrying the silence of her tears,
That  soaked her pillows of youth
And stole her fountain of happiness
Before the sun rose,
Above her mountain of the past

Words of silence,
Scream my regret,
Burying my soul
Within seconds of the past

A Drink of flesh,
The hungover, of this soul
To question happiness,
At the whim of the glass

Seeing it's bottom,
And the shadow of the future
For what's there to live for?
But memories of yesterday

That fade with the wind
Stealing the dark of our hair
To leave but wrinkles of thought
Before the day of the reaper

Maybe,
We come to know
Of the face of sorrow
But not, one of joy

For under the moon,
The stars and the clouds,
The sun burns our hearts,
Into ashes of oblivion

Tears of the sky
Dust weary faces
To comfort wounded hearts

No night dark,
Nor winter cold
To hide the shame of my heart,
Nor numb the fibres of its pulse

But, an aching rhythm
Tearing down,
the walls of the mind

The death of a boy
In a shell of man
Riding, along,
The broken rails of a hysteria

The good are flawed
And the bad,
are just

Sometimes,
It's the heart,
That's needs to give in

Into the order of things
A far right
a center
And the left

The secrets of his soul
Hidden within the fabrics of the night
Away from the shame of the sun

He takes subtle steps,
Searching chambers of a *****,
From rays of a hollow moon

A wise man he imagines
Feeding his Frankenstein,
To quench his boiling lust

Oh! An Intelligent fool,
A beautiful noose he winds
Around his frail neck

Tethering his reputation,
On a decaying post,
To become but a slave,
When his past comes to light

It was easy to breath,
But hard to live

Watching the world through hell's gate
Wrestling my demons by the day,
And chocking on my screams in the dark

An illusion it seemed,
Vivid, a smudged line between,
The realm of reality,
And edges of a nightmare

The heart grew cold,
To fear and hope,
But hate and misery,
The cloaks it wore,
On the path of vengeance

To the heavens,
In their silence,
Hiding above the clouds
Shielding the sun from my soul
An empty shell,
And a withered spirit

May be,
We don't know the light,
Until we've been in the dark,
We don't see why we live,
Until we've found,
That to die for
To lose our souls

And so I awoke,
Into a dawn,
That life could be beautiful again,
With a new reason,
To live, die,
A legacy,
In a hall of fame,
Where my name rests

I cuddle the night,
Embracing his warm covers
Over my wounded heart

Lonely, broken,
Shuttered,
And bled

That it aches,
Screams,
And sobs

Echoing within,
the corners of my soul,
When I sold me
Into slavery

A bartered exchange,
Of hearts
That you toyed with my own
While I handled yours
With a mother's hand

The bruises of yesterday,
Still bleeding on this morning,
How we got here?
I don't know.

May be silence is love,
Between to two souls
Heavy with care,
And afraid to ruin the sand castle,
On a beach, that our hands molded

May be the heavens know,
Of legends and their tales
Their peaks and falls
Before painting history
Within the banners of their names

May be we are just one of those tales
Our stars matching from a distant past
Within this present of a milky way
Heavy with clouds of tears,
But smile at the sunrise
And hope we remain, together,
Our souls as one
On this banner of love

I see it's depth
An abyss of darkness
Drowning in my shadow
As thoughts chew on my consciousness

How low must I fall?
Before the sky disappears,
The sun into a star,
Fading into a black hole,

To return, or be lost,
Patience, a virtue of time,
A ticking clock,
That unsettles my heart

Frustrated, depressed,
Angry, lost
Hopeless, and lonely
Within a lunatic mind

It was the sense of control,
That she held the light for her soul,
Walking in the dark,
Blind to her illusions
That every step was right,
And the future was but a place,
Of abundance in riches,
Joy, a bliss for the heart
And a forever quenched thirst,
In arms of a strong love

Oh! A beautiful dream,
Where desires met perfection,
And wore robes of deception,
Chaining her heart,
With rings of black roses,
prickles bleeding veins,
To leave but a withered soul
The red in her eyes,
As she watched the sun fall,
Into a twilight, a true reality

Mirror, mirror,
By the wall he hungs,
A little flame on a melting candle,
Dancing beautifully within his cornered edges

She whispers, asking,
"who's the fairest of all? "
"In this room drowning in darkness,
And of the night, young and calm"

His voice vibrating and clear,
"truly in this room, you, above all"
"But of this night, lone and quiet,
The bright star besides the shadow of her moon"

"Gracefully they travel many nights,
Across valleys and plains,
Beyond deserts and thick forests,
And over endless covers of unknown waters"

"Together, I have seen many seasons,
Through the freezing cold of a jailing winter,
And the scorching heat of a summer hell
As like always, glancing through that window from this wall"

"Attracted to her beautiful twinkles,
From the beginning of this world,
To this very moment, with each passing second,
And may be, to the world's end"

She dances once and twice
Bitter, broken by the weight of his words,
Before, finally, blown out of life,
To rise as smoke, into the milky way

Painting a dark cloud
That even in her despair,
Her tears shall fall to soak the earth,
To soften, and swallow her beloved mirror

Time devours beauty of a maiden,
Like a flower withering in a prevailing drought

It pulls down the bright petals of her youth
To ruins of a deserted city

Mighty, once adorned,
Of her great walls and golden streets,

That whispers of her riches
Echoed the high mountains and valleys below,

As swans swam up her Jordan,
To the tunes of the eastern parrots

Finest, smiles like a sunset,
And the melodic voice of her highness

Now, behind shutters of broken glass,
A ghostly structure falling into oblivion

Deserted by kings, counsel men, and soldiers
As her streets crawl with beggers and the unclean

Her walls falling brick by brick,
As the wind pulls one strand of her hair at a time

But, she smiles, touching the smooth surface,
Of the glass, more like herself

And whispers, "for every city that fades from glory,
The world must raise another, "

"and for every queen that ages,
The kingdom must crown another"

It is the guilt,
Regret, plunging self-esteem
Hate, worthlessness,
Prejudice, hopelessness,
Secrecy, deception,
Desire, emptiness,
Rage, craziness,
Weakness, satisfaction,
Relief, anguish,
Brokenness, betrayal,
Joy, thrill,
Sadness, anger,
Hurt, misery,
Abuse, depression,
Loneliness, boredom,
Power, control,
Dreams, fantasies,
Violence, and suicide
That wound up,
The scars of addiction

The slates of this mind,
Where fantasies streamed,
For you,
After the first time

Your gracious gaze
A charming smile,
A lazy walk,
But an elegant body

A woman within,
With a thrilling voice,
That tethered my heart,
In your chamber of lovers

How could I not have seen?
That, it was just a game,
A long list you kept
Within the pages of a red dairy

Where horrors howled from a past,
And anxiety transformed into hate,
To wield the sceptre of power,
As you drag souls into a hysteria

Gutting their souls,
Draining their hearts,
And washing your feet,
With a cloth soaked in their blood

To be, gratified,
Chatting with your demons
As they crown you queen
And later,

Drown you,
In a pool of nightmares
To mark you one of them,
In the hell you partially designed

But,
am not one of you
Immune to your spells
After seeing how empty your heart is,
And in search for an understanding

Of why, the world so cruel?
Seeking the house of empathy
To find one of a kind
To ease your pains

And sorry, it ain't I
For me too,  
Chat with my demons,
And send them,

To seek sorry souls,
Like yours,
And devour their essence
As I watch with a smile,
Their spirits, wither

And finally,
erasing my slates
For the rules were the same,
It was, just a game

I know of your flesh
Understand the smooth ways around your river
Meandering through your twin hills,
Into the valley of bliss

A peaking scream,
And a runner's breath,
To catch but a few,
Words between a sigh

Before, rolling again,
Into the chamber of literature
Where plays meet action
And romance colours the sport

Across a finish line
Where silence cheers on,
As the sky curves in,
To leave, but two beings,
Within, the petals of red roses

Give a man a pencil,
And he will draw from his mind,
Give a woman a pen,
And she will write from her heart

For the essence of a manhood lies within,
The height of the roof above his head
As the delight of his other rib,
From the warmth of the sun in a  snowfall

A balance of life
Once left and right,
Now right and left
Or simply, enjoying the centre

Who says he can't love the world?
And who dictates she can't rule the universe?
For a father grooms his little princess
And a mother sits on a King's counsel

How did this happen?
Defying the judgement of the old
A foundation of social rationality,
But now a house of idealism

Yes, the pursuit of something,
Something that is perfect,
To being complete of a kind,
To feel whole in a life lived

And that,
a freedom in happiness
To know the past,
And shine it's edges,
So as to glow, in the future

Doesn't she see the beauty of her youth in your curves?
The ripening ***** and bulging hips
Stretching out the folds of your silk wrappings
And a cotton weaving over your shoulders

A smooth skin, tender
Long hair, gold,
With a sunset smile,
And a gracious gaze

Of an angel,
By the fountain,
Trapped within your own reflection,
And wishing, you stay,  
Forever, young

How empty this feels?!
Stained,wallpapers, peeling,
Falling with sounds of fading memories

To let go of the good, but exceptional,
A past,
One step into her shadow

An old flame to be rekindled,
Denying fortunes of the future
The new yellow on a ****** candle

Scented, the breath of a rebirth,
A reincarnation, in spirit, for the heart,
To love, and  to be healed

An essence to be cherished
But lost in the smoke,
When the wind blows,
To steal the flame

Make me melt at the honesty of your heart
A sincere passion that is mutual
Echoing within the walls of our hearts
Pounding together in a wrestle of love,
Ecstasy, bonding our DNA,
When we lay in a bed of roses

My soul weary inside her rugs of flesh
Wrapping my decaying bones,
Dry of their marrow, drained,
With a fading taste,
Blurry eyes, a faint scent,
Silent to the surrounding,

The forgotten tune of a true sparrow
Where wishes linger in memories
Of how it used to be,
But hungry for the apple of youth,
Watching a love that drifted away
And the moving arms of a wall clock,
Before I rest in an eternal sleep

I could bleed all the ink from my pen,
As a fountain of my sorrows,  
Streaming endlessly from a shattered heart
Masked behind these dry, but weary tears

But, the length of my scroll,
Short of a new page,
Appeals for a new chapter,
That I return to its headers,
To write within my past,
The story of a new self

She hates the blankets of the night,
Hovering over the yellow of the sun
Into a boiling skin, sweating,
Soaking in a night gown,
Drowning in a pool of flooding terrors,
Flashing slates of memories

A dark alley, a subway,
Trailed by a hooded phantom
laying on her back, flimsy,
Chocking on her fading screams
In fright of the red mask,
The weight of his seed

I didn't not see the shadow,
Nor the silhouette of your soul,
But a wavy shade,
Of your heart,
Smiling and tearing
Strings of my own,
That strummed for you,
Toying with their elasticity,
The acoustics of divorce,
Casting a dying passion,
When we played boy and girl
Into a happy never after

So I prayed today
At the altar under a roof,
Standing, a rusty but rugged cross,
On a peak, towards the sky

The candles fared,
Wavy flames danced with my own shadow
On dusty stone walls and aged furniture,
As silence masked the night

The midnight hour,
Transitioning into a future,
A present,
Dragging in a past,

These dreams of rue
Incorporated in a self,
To be buried in tears,
And left longing, for an escapade

The falling threads of her hair
Dark and satin,
In the yellow light of a dying candle,
Brushing lightly the wrinkles of my face,
At the temples, before the moon,
When she hung peaceful in my feeble arms,
Sharing a fatherly embrace

I slide my legs between the sheets,
feel the tender touch of warm cotton,
on my cold skin,  that my eyes close,
into a darkness, into a wonderland,
to catch the morrow
a Breaking Dawn,  dancing,
within the swords of the arena

“No,” he said,
“I want to see how you roll yours eyes when turned on,”
“Biting your lips and your voice smoother than the dust of falling snow,
Screaming within a peaking ecstasy.”
“To see your soul in the white of your eyes,
And your heart in the brown lenses within.”
“Pounding to the thrusting movement between your thighs,
But gentle, to raise your spirit,
Into the sky of dreamers…”

and even though am convinced within,
that am right and tempted to believe,
that am wise and lured to judged,
I lean on the counsel of the old,
the Socratic words from Greece,
a Confucius text from China,
and heed the advise of the guardians,
from the stars and their shadows,
listening to beat of my heart

am no student of art
but paint with the strokes of my heart
at the beat of its drum
the blood on my arm
dripping from it's fist,
in a dance at a feast,

a bonfire, a hollow moon,
a reaper's scythe, a large spoon,
digging with my nails,
to blur my trails,
that when the sainthood comes,
to bleed my palms,

I stand justified
my ego satisfied
in a pouring rain
that eases my pain
when my soul rampaged in vengeance
and seeks not the house of repentance

am no holier than those before me,
nor those to come after
am a man with an eye
searching for a light in blindness
wisdom, in endless perversions of flesh,
and love beyond corners of graves
the blood of my soul,
that i use to cleanse my past,
of filthy hands and feet,
when the sun rose to cast my dark shadow

even the sweetest melody fades
after soothing a sobbing heart
into a slumber of silence
into a smile of dreams