it is within us
vague yet vivid
soundless yet deafening
boundless yet finite
this could be nothing
if you see it
as a perception of your mind
this could be everything
if you believe in it
beyond your limitation*

©IGMS 2014

One, two,
I was in love with you,
Three, four,
But you wanted more,
Five, six,
We were once romantics,
Seven, eight,
But now you're filled with hate,
Nine, ten,
I might never love again.

Eleven, twelve,
I will forever delve,
Thirteen, fourteen,
Till I figure out why you built a screen,
Fifteen, sixteen,
The reason you quit being so keen,
Seventeen, eighteen,
Why our spark faded till it was unseen,
Nineteen, twenty,
How your love left me empty,
Because all I've got now is my music,
*And poetry.

Okay,
I know that I nag,
And I'm so annoying,
I always ramble,
And you put up with it.

See the thing is,
I haven't cared this much,
Not in a while,
And I don't want to lose you.

I'm scared,
That you'd break down,
And I wouldn't be there,
Or you might do something drastic,
Cuz I'll forever have nightmares.

You're so important to me,
I don't know why,
But I want to feel your heart aching,
I want you to know that I'll always care.

And that's why it kills me,
I never get to know,
If you're dying slowly,
Or I fill you with joy,
If you're incredibly happy,
Or I've made things worse.

I care so much,
And I love you so much,*
You're the most realistic friendship,
That I've ever had,
And I don't want to discomfort you,
But I'm scared that I'll lose you,
It'll all be my fault,
For not trying hard enough.

I'm tired,
So tired,
Of myself,
Of life.

I'm complicated,
Too complicated,
Help yourself,
Stay away from me,
It hurts not only you,
But also me.

I'm clingy,
Never obsessed,
Though that might be your perception of me.

I expect too much,
Seemingly naive,
But I know how it all ends,
I know what always comes,
I know I'll bleed from my eyes,
But I still dive into salt.

Friendships only ever hurt me,
Relationships come back to haunt me,
For I know my insignificance,
In an immense amount of lives,
Yet I blindly dream,
That I might hold importance.

I know how it all ends,
Yet I dream,
And I never stop,
Maybe I'm just naive.

I have OCD,
My mum didn't believe me,
Perfect symmetry is my ideal,
No one understands it.

No one understands me,
I think so badly of myself,
I take some jokes secretly seriously,
I care too much about your thoughts of me.

I'm used for my talents,
Then disregarded.

With music,
I'm not to mess with,
My hands,
They apparently hold magic.

People tell me to be positive,
When I think that way,
What happens,
Is the opposite.

My heart holds supposedly false hope,
Though I hope with all my heart,
And so exude happiness unconsciously
I hurt for no reason,
Can't even pour it all out in my art.

I'm tired,
So tired,
I'm complicated,
Too* ******* complicated,
So stay away from me,
*If you want to ever be free.

I need someone,
That makes me lose track of time,
Of  *everything.

He likes me, he likes me not,
He likes me, he likes me not,
He likes me, he likes me not.

Oh well,
**** the petals,
*He totally likes me.