My minds a jumbled mess
I wanna say it all but all I actually do is say less
I want superman to come save this here mind
But frfr. I think he's resigned
Or maybe I'm not worth of any of his time
I'm drowning in my own thoughts
We train ourselves to act the same and I feel like I'm surrounded by robots
No one will rock the boat
No one will actually stand by me and make sure that I stay afloat
Me speaking my mind to others can't be translated I just sound like a goat
This cruel world is blizzard cold and I can't find my coat
Or maybe it's too small
Right now I'm standing outside and I'm forced to say I don't feel anything at all
Even though we're all cold
No One will come clean and admit it and boy oh boy man is it getting old
I'm done forcing myself to fit into that mold
Even when you scold me because I'm divergent
I cleanse my soul
(breath in)
smell that?
clean like detergent
I'm done letting social acceptance control my life like Ima a servant
Being cool and getting Instagram likes really ain't that important
Wether you got fans or not don't matter *** the world keeps on flowing
Need to stop and think about it "wait"
What direction am I goin
What outcome in life for me is the lord currently bestowing
I wanna be able to look back and ask myself "Hey was it worth it"?
And be able to reply "ya baby you fulfilled your purpose"
Weather or not I'll become successful is a difficult topic
I stay up at night just thinking about it
Dreaming about it
Living it in my mind and I can't even stop myself
I scream and shout about it
No not literally
But mentally
I strain my mind on a daily bases
I feel that up until now my whole life has been suspended by braces
But I don't wanna be strait that's not how he makes us
I don't wanna be another boring book on the boring bookcases
I refuse to be like those faces
Those aliens who have tricked theirselves that what is real is tasteless
Trying to look like ken and Barbie sending theirselves on wild goose chases
You know what this world needs?
Not a revival we have no chance of a survival as long as we live on earth
It's like spilling spaghetti sauce on a white t-shirt
U can't get it out
it will never revert
This pitiful world is in chronicle need of a rebirth

It's never good job
Or thank you
Or keep up the good work
U only criticize me for why?
You put on a show for your friends
And Your telling them a lie
That's why after every performance
We as a "family" going out to eat is of great importance
Yet even though it's in "celebration" of me
You force me to go somewhere that I don't even wanna be
Somewhere that I absolutely despise
I'll pretend that I'm not hurt and that its all alright
But it's kinda hard when there aren't any good vibes
The whole time there's ALWAYS arguing
It's like destroying my happiness is all that yall've  been targeting
And there's never any actual congratulating
I'll put my head down because the sound of your constant yelling is mutilating
But me trying to ignore you guys is apparently irritating
So I have to keep performing
Put on a show that'll keep me from conforming
To the actions that I really wanna take
You say be who you wanna be don't be opaque
and then raise me to be fake
Your giving me a headache
No ur giving me a heartache
Everyday I'm greeted at the door with insults
Hating my family a little more are the usual results
And you know it's quite sad
Because family's all that I have
These four people who are currently living in the same house
Or should I say my dad and his spouse
They're all that I've got which is why I stick to myself
I'm tired
I'm  not gonna continue to rebel
*** all it does is give me hell

Love me poetically or put this relationship to sleep
I feel like you threw our hearts down 10 thousand feet
And I dived in thinking I can fly
While you sit at home counting sheep
Can you tell me why
See to you
it isn't that deep
u picked the wrong one
If you wanted something easy then you should have went cheap

I feel it in my gut
The verge of a panic attack lingering in my heart So I quickly nip it in the ****
It's terrifying feeling it when it hits and mortifying experiencing it while in public
Social acceptance used to be the key
Social acceptance used to control me
It Used to dictate my life
Till I grabbed it by the throat and slit it with my pocket knife
I really just got tired of the need to hide
The real I almost died
Being caught up in a lie
At first I was shy
But hey now I draw attention to it for the world to absorb it with an open eye
I choose not to care
And now people are jealous of me because they think it's not fare
I don't dare let these rude remarks get into my hair
If only they new to get where I am you have to do your time and your share

I'm like a volcano
I hold it all inside
I lead people on like a tour guide
I appear dormant
Like everything's fine
But I know I can erupt at anytime
too greedy to stop selling tickets
Too greedy gotta rack up them digits
Sometimes my scruples get the best of me
I'll give off a warning sign
Black ashes is the usual recipe
Y'all just too focused on being mine ain't worried about ur heart dying
Or your eyes crying
Or what ever happens when the lava starts flyin
Your poking a bear with a stick
Expecting me to be okay with it
And maybe that's my fault
Maybe I'm responsible
Still no excuse for the table salt
Taking the bait ..optional
Ashes weren't good enough so I hit you with a rumble
You fall
You stumble
And then you come straight back
I know you feel that heart attack
Stop trying to act strong and heroic
*** when I feed in to it ur not as devoted
When I unleash the fiery flames
You still wanna play these stupid games
Till I mess around and burn u fast
Then u start talking bout how u left me in the past
Man forget u and ur mama
I ultimately was Tryna avoid the drama
I didn't wanna hurt your soul
but you gave me no choice
and now the pain ur feeling is out of my control
I tried to warn u
But you just wouldn't listen
Too focus on being persistent
And now u got me feeling bad
It told u this from the beginning lad
I'm like a volcano
I hold it all inside
I lead people on like a tour guide
I appear dormant
Like everything's fine
But I know I can erupt at anytime

The anxiety in my stomach just won't resolve
All it seems to do is get bigger & evolve
last time I felt this way t'was drastic
last time I felt this way my family split up like worn out elastic  
Child hood memories cut deformed & violated
Child hood memories ultimately lacerated
I pray history won't repeat
Pray that this anxiety will go away and take a seat