More.
War.
It's all I've ever known.
Out here struggling on my own.
Each day is a fight to survive.
Each hour passing with this gift of life.

Tears.
Appear.
Falling to my shirt.
Uncover my face to expose the hurt.
Done begging for your approval.
I'm here to instate your removal.

You.
Threw.
Everything you had at me.
Both figurative and literally.
Now I'll try to say this pleasantly.
Get the hell out, I'll count to three.

It’s been a week - things have been happening - I’m going through it. I’ve become nostalgic for two weeks ago. I got screamed at, I lost my AirPods case and I cracked my iPhone screen, so I’m several levels worse - I’m a sad human. I’m writing this at the Apple Store while a friendly Apple person renders me whole.

The Ukraine situation has everyone unnerved. Draw a card - Pandemic or WWIII? Please, protect my peace. So there’s a level of “*****-it” now.

Friday night, I’m in a bad mood and when someone says “Come-on let's go clubbing!”
I’m - “Let’s GET THIS.” Later, we’re at a club, and it’s INSANELY crowded, like a moshpit. It was ABBA night. It did not escape me that this is exactly the type of milieu I’ve been avoiding for years. Did I mention the WWIII level of “*****-it”?

Ok, moshpit, you could hardly move, you definitely couldn’t hear, and Anna dropped her phone - we were sure that it was gone forever but 30 minutes later a hole opens up and there it is - like it’s just been sitting there waiting - so, there ARE miracles.  

The list of life’s demands grow by the moment - reading, homework, laundry, dinner, upcoming midterms. I had a rock solid plan for a Saturday night of fun but assignments and necessities destroyed its integrity.

After a heroic effort and completing everything, I felt a fast-metastasizing boredom, so I wandered outside my room, hoping for company and distraction - it was 00:30 AM  - and for for once - no one else was there! Where was everyone? Hello zombie apocalypse.

So I did what anyone would do in that beat - I cued-up ”Miraculous,” because Ladybug’s always there for me.

Empathy is a disease.
It's a mirror that you  always look into.
It is the situation that you are inherently bound to.
Empathy is asking for spare change on the corner of a street.

Empathy keeps you dedicated
Like a nun in it for the pearly gates.
It stamps a scar on your heart that can turn to hate.
Empathy is the cheapest coffin in the whole place.

Empathy encourages that charitable sorrow
That plagues the psyche with a bittersweet notion
Of unbearable understanding and sympathy.
Empathy is all alone, drinking wine and watching WWIII on the t. v.

Remember when you told me you forgot your middle name.
And that you didn't remember if you even had one.
That your parents weren't particularly religious; that they forgot God.
And that you've been forgetful lately.
You couldn't
remember
the last time you picked flowers.
Or a president.
Or shot a gun.
Or put a flower in a gun.
And that Vietnam was like Iraq.
And France would bring WWIII.
"What's my middle name?"
You asked.
"Where's the Middle East?"

"Didn't the nukes dropped in the Nevada desert sand create glass?"

"How many windows does this room have? Can you see?"

"The eyes are the windows to the soul."

My eyes feel old
Is what my grandmother would say
when she was tired.
She would play solitaire.
After each game she would
shuffle the deck three ways.
I would always mix them up
scattered on the tabletop.
That's what I remember
from the sixties.

We are never at peace
Although thats how it seems
And the weight I've been carrying
Has finally been lifted off my shoulders
But i've kept my walls up and they are closley gaured
As I will find my lover
And he shall find me
But until then I prepare for WWIII

Its bound to come sooner or later.
As scary as can be, this is reality.
I have a feeling this time round it will be more gruesomer.
For there was a one and two,eventually there will a come three.

Even when we bring peace there is destruction.
Can we not all get along?
Blame this on the forces of deception.
And why is there always war and competition about who is more mighty and strong ?

One thing all of us ,humans need to do is care a little bit more.
And one thing all of us humans,need to ignore, is the bitter temptation of gore......

Welcome to America, in 2016.
Where "all lives matter"
Except Syrian refugees
Where you can't even breathe
Without offending somebody.
Where parents are taken from their children,
Because of the color of their skin.
Where we normalize police brutality.
Where you can be a racist,
And still run for president.
Where injustice is served, with a side of GMOs.
Where the citizens of Flint have been without clean water for how long?
Who knows.
Our minds are diluted by capitalism and celebrities.
Where people will look at you crazy for saying,
"Save the bees"
Meanwhile they're out there, planning WWIII.
When you're told "your vote counts!"
But we're stuck with Trump & Hillary.
Where women on the red carpet are glamorous and sexualized,
But if you're ***** they'll ask,
"Well what were you wearing that night?"
A guy selling marijuana will serve his whole life.
Whereas Brock Turner was released in what felt like overnight.
Where white privilege has never been more real.
And our generation is learning that
"You're weak if you feel."
People being told we have nothing to fear,
Meanwhile the media is controlling what we hear.
People fighting for clean water, as if that wasn't our God-given right.
Our women are afraid to walk home alone at night.
You can work 40 hours a week, and still not make enough to live.
But if you ask for government assistance, you're a "lazy *******."
When in reality, it's just enough to feed your kids.
The Elite have created this illusion of seperation.
They have torn us apart as a world, and as a nation.
The color of our skin doesn't make us any different.
I promise you can love someone who practices a clashing religion.
Underneath it all, we're all the same.
All this person on person violence just makes us pawns in their game.
We should be coming together as humans, who have lost their humanity.
Maybe this all makes my "liberal."
But in all honesty, the current state of the world has me questioning my sanity.
Love thy neighbor, respect their spirit.
Or we won't be around much longer to experience it.

Welcome to America in 2017.
We forgot how to love one another so we were wiped out, mercilessly.
If only we had come together before we tore ourselves apart.
If we remember who we are,
We can be our own light in the dark.

Words spoken
to paint a picture
Of a life so grand
the perfect mixture
Of love, joy, peace
and happiness
The freedom to pursue
a measure of success

A life with no dissention
but only tranquility
To walk hand in hand
in a spirit of humility
To work together
to reach our goals
No longer two halfs
but finally a whole

Freedom to exercise gifts
through self expression
Never tearing down
or have bad intentions
Building up
in the spirit of love
One that's so pure
and sent from above

The ideal life
portrayed through words
But time will tell
what'll really unfurl
A simple disagreement
turns into WWIII
I got question for you
is the grass really green?

You forget me so easily.
I don't exist in the plains of busy workdays,
I am lost when your cellphone begins it's cheerful singing,
the overlooked missing page in a thousand pages needed signing

It's as if i don't exist at all.
I barely cross your mind in front of your friends
I blur so easily in the corner of your eye you refuse to see
I fade; a shadow in your immaculate spotlight

To catch your attention means a nuclear bomb, a WWIII
It's not enough That I give you everything, all I am
Despite all that, It compares in comparison to see you SHINE
I all pays off when I see you smile just for me.

War torn Aleppo
Is featured
In the news today

Bombings **** the innocent

The people hope and pray

We are far
From Aleppo
A bomb not falling
On your head

And like most Americans
I had my daily bread

Even in America
Peace is no guarantee

Will North Korea
Start WWIII?

The day the war started
I was not surprised

Nation warring against nation
Governments unable to maintain peace

I sure hope it doesn't happen

It’s hard to imagine almost three months of unencumbered fun. My Grandmère says it’s my first summer as an “adult.” Is it funny that I don’t yet see myself as an adult?

Her “frosh-end” gift to me is a summer of anything I want (chaperoned, of course, to counterbalance the nefarious strategic significance of our femaleness) with her secretarial minions coordinating tickets, booking travel, airfare and hotels. ***, we have SO much planned.

There’ll be travel, plisse bikini-covers, gas-station sunglasses, marathon-beach-walks, bright-dense-tangerine sunsets, Yamazaki flavored snow-cones, moonlight swangin, ***-positivity and righteous gratitude to my Grandmère for all this.

And there won’t be any deterministic nonlinear systems analysis or multicellular biology quizzes.

Leong isn’t going back to Macau (China) over summer break so I’m stealing her. She’s spending her entire summer with me. In June, my parents are off, for the rest of the summer, to Poland with “Doctors without borders,” so we become untethered. Of course, all of our plans are covid or WWIII dependent and thus subject to cancellation without prior notice.

In May, I’m going to show Leong life in America, well, Georgia anyway. I’ll introduce her to my old high school crew, show her life on the lake, and teach her how to play frisbee golf and of course, how to waterski. We’re going to Braves games, to see Bonnie Raitt, Barenaked Ladies, and Indigo Girls concerts - and that’s just May.

In June, when my folks leave for Poland, Lisa, Anna, and Sunny will join us for the rest of the summer. First, we’re off to Dublin, Ireland for a few days where we’ll see Duran Duran in concert. Then we’ll go to London and shop for day three of the Royal Ascot.

Day three, at Ascot, is “Ladies Day,” when they parade those hats “My Fair Lady” made famous. We’ll table in the Windsor Enclosure (the “cheap seats”) where you don’t have to wear a silly hat (Americans don’t DO that, do we?) and the dress code is slightly more relaxed. Don’t fret though, the royal family will carriage right by us (an unobstructed 30 feet away) at 2PM sharp and we’ll enjoy champagne, strawberries and 5-star cuisine as horses run for their lives.

In January, all we could talk about were Florida beaches - but that’s not the situation now - the Florida atmosphere just seems too straight-white toxic. So we’re staying euro-side and will drop to Saint-Tropez until we go see Olivia Rodrigo, in Paris, on June 22nd.

As you can see, it’s a lot - and I can’t wait!
I hope you have big plans - make big plans - life's too short!

Religious ****, Religious Crap, Religious Dung and Stool
"Christianity" today...Puke to fill a kiddy-pool
-
Then the "christians" jump right in, play patty-cake all day
Say some lovey-dovey prayers...chase the Devil far away
-
That baddy-baddy Devil, "christians" don't allow
To him hold up a crucifix, then go kiss their Sacred Cow
-
They don't have to worry, 'bout Wrath or WWIII
They think they'll fly away...Oh yea, lets wait and see

It will not be on tv
It wont be in the media
Youll know when they knock on your
Door
With battering rams and armored gear
Throwing tear
Gases at the masses take a seat
Cuz class is
Out of session grab n load ya weapons
Cuz they steppin'
Out of jurisdiction easy prediction
United Snakes paying for the perdition
For all the bad history they've had in the past
But soon North Korea will put that *** on blast
Dare anyone not to understand
Whats up ahead
Keep your head
High and above the waters
Cuz if you dont you'll drown
With no soul streaming pillows
While they pump you with the red blue and white *****
The draft is going to begin
Where will you end
Up in the future
You choose ride or punk out
Or be apart of the revolution

So many, too many students had COVID two weeks ago. My parents were supposed to come for a visit, and midterms were on the horizon - so I decided to go ahead and get covid - to get it over with. I’ve been around a dozen people who later that day tested positive, but somehow I’ve never come down with it myself.

Peter caught it and was isolated in his suite (two of his suitemates had it). I went to see him, surreptitiously hoping he’d pass it on, but Lisa (the traitor) texted him and he Lysoled his entire suite and wouldn’t let me in - saying exposing me went against his “moral code.” rolling eyes

Now midterm season is on us and a lot of people I know are in crisis. That happens a lot in test times. This place is so cutthroat and competitive. You can get so deep in your own head that it becomes a ***** fish bowl of anxiety. The delightful cocktail of pandemic, WWIII and midterm stress gel, in some minds, to form a sweet, unhinging mix.

My major tests are over (good for me, yay for me!) but I’m not parking my study playlist just yet. I have a couple of papers due. While those don’t stress me like tests, they’ll keep me busy, like everyone else - there’s always a feeling of being behind it and frantically busy here.

We were trying to plan an actual, REAL spring break - that didn’t involve 11 hour layovers and 5 hour bus rides. Something NOT held in a parent’s apartment - someplace adult and private.

Then my Grandmère offered us an all-expenses-paid trip to Paris, saying I could bring three friends and stay at the Hotel de Crillon. A week in Paris with Lisa, Leong and Anna sounds delicious - of course, I told them how positively uncouth it would be to refuse -  we’ll see.

It will not be on tv
It wont be in the media
Youll know when they knock on your
Door
With battering rams and armored gear
Throwing tear
Gases at the masses take a seat
Cuz class is
Out of session grab n load ya weapons
Cuz they steppin'
Out of jurisdiction easy prediction
United Snakes paying for the perdition
For all the bad history they've had in the past
But soon North Korea will put that *** on blast
Dare anyone not to understand
Whats up ahead
Keep your head
High and above the waters
Cuz if you dont you'll drown
With no soul streaming pillows
While they pump you with the red blue and white *****
The draft is going to begin
Where will you end
Up in the future
You choose ride or punk out
Or be apart of the revolution

I went to college
And got more education

And I'm sitting here
On a Friday night
With $4.35 in my account

There are no jobs

And America is ruined
There is no future here

And WWIII might be
On it's way

These older people
I live with
Seem to think
Things will just
Continue on as always

Life's easy
When you have a job
And a steady paycheck

Baby boomers
Still fixated in front
Of the television
Taking pills as well

Repeating the same routine
Over and over again

And I can't afford
To leave
And I won't ever
I don't think

I've learned not
To get my hopes up
For a decent job

California
All dried up

I'm just going to have
A big laugh
When the banks fail

When everything in ruins
America the great ***** of Babylon

Your debts piled high
You legalize gay marriage
Your abortions
Your unemployment
Your stagnant economy
Your growing police state

The destruction
Of the middle class
And decent paying jobs

Let judgement come
Upon this land
Many of the people have broke
The covenant with
The Lord

And will not repent
Our leaders corrupt
Let them be judged!

They have turned away
Let judgement
Come To America

At the beginning of 2020, Australia was on fire.
The threat of WWIII was all too real.
Baby dictators playing with "disposable" human lives.

Disposable lives
Disposable masks
Disposable gloves
Disposable plastic bags
. . . and here were are again with disposable lives.

My family and I survived the Oregon trail and not one of us died from dysentery. A small victory!

George Floyd, "I can't breath."
Black Lives Matter.  
LGBTQ+ Lives Matter.

Marching in the streets and shouting until I can't speak. Organizing and criticizing institutions that WE built. People WE put into office. And my more political topics that WE are responsible for.

Black Lives Still Matter.
LQBTQ+ Lives Still Matter.
Anti-maskers, "I can't breath."

A shame and a reflection in the United States education system.

Me walking my dogs, "I can't breath. . . without a mask"
Ashes falling from our apocalypses skys.
My skin burns from the air.
I my dog sneezing because they don't have masks.
My mask discolored from this short walk.

Exposed
Double Down
Tested
Isolate
Negative
Relief
Virtual Life

A light at the end of this long tunnel?
Good-bye Oregon!
2021, let's try Utah?

Oh look up in the sky, frightful signs behold
What could all this mean? In the Bible it is told
-
The Bible tells of grief, of pain and death and woe
In Mathew 24, through this you're going to go
-
Then go read Isaiah, chapter ten plus three
Who is this Babylon? very soon you're going to see
-
The Prophet Jeremiah, wrote of death and woe
Chapters fifty fifty-one...this was written long ago
-
Babylon will burn, burn in atomic fire
Vengeance from the Wrath of God...Jeremiah was no lire
-
Not the Babylon of old, the Babylon today
TOTALLY DESTROIED [1], this is the USA

[1] WWIII

What if I were to change myself to be different
To be a new man

What if I were to **** man
Dose that make me any better. No
It dosent matter what he did
It's what he will do

What if I were to stop killing and violence
Make the work peaceful

What if I was to start WWIII

What if I were to change the world

All it takes the the will
Of a single man

What makes the world go ‘round? It’s oil Oil OIL!  
We need to have a WAR [1], to get our greedy spoil  
-
We’re the ones that guzzle it, so that oil is ours!
Quench our wanton greed, bottle it in jars  
-
We’re a Sovran State, we can tell you what to do  
You will be our slaves, be on our oil crew  
-
We abide, we abide, by the Rule of Law (when it's convenient)
Might makes Right! We will punch you in the jaw  
-
We will dominate the world, use the Chinks to do our work  
If they don’t bow down, we will go berserk  
-
America! America! God’s blessing to the world  
Thank you God now go away, our flag of greed unfurled

[1] WWIII

No no no
It's not happening
I can't wrap my head around the ignorance
That is caused by the people in charge

The clouds of War do form. Can't see it? Then you're bind
A war like none before...the death of all mankind
-
WWIII will be, the last one of 3 planed
Soon about to break, the flames of WAR are fanned!
-
Deep down in a Bunker there is a button that is Red
They can't wait to push this button! Millions millions will be dead
-
The button launches missiles, tipped with atom bombs
Thousands of them fly, about your death there are no qualms
-
If you happen to survive, about 3 weeks you have to live
To the fallout you'll succumb, and a **** I do not give
-
Why don't I give a ****? Because it's the Vengeance of a God
A God who's Wrath is HOT! The one you thought a fraud

The Stench of Death is in the air, the stench of rotting flesh
The prize of WWIII! In this you will enmesh
-
Celebrate your victory! Glory in your might!
Carnage pain and woe, in these you do delight
-
You won't need a flashlight, in the dark your *** will glow!
Radiation! Radiation! To Hell you'll say hello
-
This will soon all come, NOWHERE can you hide
Calamity and Doom, will be felt both far and wide

Mushroom clouds
Bombs and planes
Sifting through
My towns remains
To find an answer
For the unexplained
Held down by
This ball and chain

Buildings crumble
Fires burn
When will we ever learn
Violence happens
Death tolls rise
Bodies lay
By the wayside

No one wins
In the end
Losing loved ones
Losing friends
Destruction, terror
In their eyes
That’s what happens
When worlds collide

I don't understand why you can say things and have no consequences, but the second I say something it becomes WWIII?

I hope I do not inspire yet infuriate

You should be ****** at the words I escalate

They rough and putrid and true hard facts

What are you doing to take your life back

We are the people or so we were

Now scattered and disarmed except for a few

I do not mean weapons not the kind with bullets

I am speaking of Civil Rights and the time of free Movement

The Sick I do feel and I do not mean to show disrespect

I pray for them mostly this COVID did infect

We hear BLM and  KKK

Common People we were not raised this way....

They want us to divide what we already won

Pay attention WWIII has officially begun

The War of Separation and Divide

AGAIN ......... that is Back Pledging and there design


What Color are we Collectively they say

We are the Rainbow in the Dark they cannot cast away

Do the research not just your soul

Get a DNA what you hate you hold

We are not pure not many not anymore

What is pure anyway

keep your pedigree Id rather stay poor

January 11/2021     WAKE UP AMERICA

The world is on edge,
And rightly so, too,
From caskets strewn like *******,
To withdrawn funding for WHO;

Like something off a horror story,
What's left is for reanimated dead,
Flesh eating, mindless monsters,
Only lead to the friggin' head!

Pulpit shysters, con men of the cloth,
Boasting, the battle is theirs, not the Lords,
Dared the unseen guest, profanely,
All is well, now, laying between nailed boards;

Somewhere, in the dark continent,
The tropics had all the heat,
Coronavirus surely couldn't stand,
Well seated, many dead, no signs of retreat;

Far East, some crazy, mad scientists,
Playing with their bio toys,
Cook up another RNA weapon,
The Communist, westward, someday deploys;

It's the WWIII,
We eagerly awaited,
Shame, it's fought without explosions,
What a sight! To see civilisations obliterated!

Depopulation strategy of the antichrist,
Yes, he made mention during a talk,
****, he can't even protect his operating system,
From which he made his billions bulk;

Led by an African,
Surely he couldn't be that smart,
Misled the greatest civilisation?
Oh dear! From where do we start?

Our people have never known better,
Good governance is a pipe dream,
Here's another scheme to enrich politicians,
Juicy donations flowing in like a stream;

The big pharms engineered this,
Let loose something to **** millions,
Scramble, make a show, of concern,
Develop a vaccine, rake in the billions.