"wasent" poems
That moment i felt so safe I felt like nothing will break me away or action or touch made me feel so alive till you made me hurt but yet I stode with hope and faith that you will make everything better but yet I couldnt believe you made everything worse u gave me pain missery sadness and tears on my face the way you started making me feel was so full of sorrow and regret I never felt I felt I betrayed myself I hated every inch of me because I still stode with you beyond all the pain I consived with you just because I thought you was the one for me but now I dont know what to say I feel nothing when im near you I feel soulless like when you first learn how to love you dont know where to start or how it will end im still hurt but its hurt of that I realized I have fallen out of love for you I dont cry no more I just feel I dont know like you wasent the one beyond all the time that passed we just wish we can rewind
Nov 20, 2014
Nov 20, 2014 at 10:42 PM UTC
.... playing with the same notes
over and over.....
run out its over used...
its dry and cracking..
piercing my skin...
i heard someones foot steps following my shadow
I,
turned and looked over my shoulder
....hoping it was you,
hating that it wasent.
if you were hear you would understand..
you would stick up for me....
....i know you would
Jan 23, 2013
Jan 23, 2013 at 8:52 PM UTC
you and me....we were so close
father like daughter, the bestest of friends.
you were my savior, you taught me about Jesus, you used to read me the bible every night to me..
you deliverd me to Christ and prayed the prayer of salvation with me, and i was saved.
but see then you stopped coming home, and when you did, you were always drunk!
hitting my mom, pushing me around. i guess things got a little to heavy for you...
see, i wish i knew it was alchohal, i wish i knew that wasent my daddy, that would hurt me... but i didnt!
so i hide from you, under my bed, clenching on to my blanky cause you and mama were screaming...always fighting.
i didnt know what to do!!
what happens when the one you were suppost to look up to, wasent there. what if they started changing?
ever since i was little all i wanted to do was follow in your foot steps... i only wanted to be just like you . play piano like you did, walk/ talk like you did, be Christ like you did, but now....?you were so angry at me, so drunk...you hated God, i even thought you hated me, so i did too... then you left me and mama at home not knowing what to do...not knowing where you were, where you went. i hated myself, because my own father hated me! you probably didn't know that, did you... probably didn't know that Ive wanted and to commit suicide ... and i wouldent be here, if my mom and my friends hadent caught me... I NEEDED YOU THEN! .... dad, i needed you to show me that God didnt hate me, that he set me out to be a woman of God. That identity isnt about fitting in, or being so perfect all the time. since i didnt have you in my life i was always fighting for approval because i felt like when you left, you hated me, that i wasent good enough to be called your daughter. i wish i would have known its okay to make mistakes sometimes... i wish i would have known about controlling my anger, and to have respect for my leaders.... i wish i would have known that i could stand up for myself, but i didnt... i didnt know that i was important. important enough to not hurt myself. that i was made for more... so i had to figure that out for myself! after years of hating God and YOu, i had to figure out what a fool i was and that i really didnt have to let people abuse and mock me... that i could havve stopped that! i wish i knew that when i was threatend to be killed, i could have called out for help, i could have told someone.... but you stood back...behind the lines. i thought i lost you...
Apr 17, 2013
Apr 17, 2013 at 12:17 AM UTC
Life is so messed up
Life is so corrupt
Its so sad and bad
I wish it wasent what i had
People dont understand
Its so easy, but so hard
I wish i had another start
Before i take this way to far
May 14, 2010
May 14, 2010 at 7:28 PM UTC
The path way was my yellow brick road
The picnic table was my emerald city
The boy with his nose in a book was my wizard
The gift he gave me was his judgement less stares and his forever listening ear
Maybe I was to young
Maybe I was to dumb
Maybe I wasent brave enough
Maybe I wasent pretty enough
Maybe you just saw me as a silly girl
Maybe you just were to busy with that maze of a book
But that summer will forever be my what if
What if I had been older
What if I had been braver
What if I had snatched that book away
What if I had occupied your brain the way that book did
What if I had stolen those lips between bites of concentration
What if I had snatched your finger tips between page flips
Maybe thing would be different
Maybe things would be better
May 17, 2014
May 17, 2014 at 10:24 PM UTC
alone.
i feel alone.
i feel frightened and scared without him...
unless im with him i feel haunted like im in a dream...
without him.....
i dont know what to do...
i dont ever feel myself without him..
i need him here
i miss him
with everything i am i mean it when i say he is all ive ever wanted...
where are you?
do i even matter?
do you even care to care?
DOES ANYONE CARE THAT IM HURT TOO?
please..
i dont want to always be the only one caring!
DAD?!?!?!
Come on dad, please where are you?
i havent seen you in months...
i mean really seen you.
i miss you....
and i guess i just wish youd miss me..
i wish youd call me a million times just hoping that i would answer..
i wish you were dieing to hear me sing...
i wish you would just once drop everything for me...just to see me.
i wish it wasent the other way around.
you dont care.
and even if you say you do, i know you well enough to know that you dont.
without you dad i cant live!
i cant even speak!
but for you without me?
you just go on with everything...
everything...but me.
Oct 13, 2013
Oct 13, 2013 at 11:59 PM UTC
im lost and comfused. i dont know what to say i dont know whats wrong inside me. Questions and fears repeating on my mind like a dejavu. Regrets and agony in my chest and burned inside like a ritual crest. Lies with a sharp toungue but with a heart filled with stitches and cuts. Telling a girl lies saying its love but truly i just see it as lust. Why do i play this game if my heart belongs to one? You cant replace a girl you gave your heart to . But its harder to forgive yourself knowing because of you. You lost the woman of your life all because you dint know how to say no and wasent selfish for your own. There aint a day i dont think about you. There aint a time where i just lay down and remember every little thing about you. All i can truly say is someday. I hope you can forgive me.
Aug 30, 2014
Aug 30, 2014 at 12:28 AM UTC
Blood is trickleing down my side
As the knife gets more deep
I just want to go into a never ending sleep
Stabbing, thrashing, and pushing
As the knife gets closer to the bone
All i can do is harden like stone
your cold face
Thoose wild eyes
Grow darker with every lie
But what if my pain wasent from the knife?
what if i dient care about the lies?
I just want to please you
For you to be proud to call me yours
But all the slamming of the doors
And all thoose hatefull words
Dig in
Worse then a knofe
They just might take my life
Is that what you want?
Is that your goal?
To knock me down and push me
Over the edge
Then look down over the ledge and laugh becuase you win?
If thats not what you mean than watch what you say
Becuase you words hurt worse than a knife
And they just might take my life
Jan 3, 2014
Jan 3, 2014 at 10:54 PM UTC
The end has come while the rest wasent found.
Lurking truths have seeped into every sound.
The misery is loud.
Trying to wash the wounds from all my cuts.
It rises from the bottom of my guts.
Why was it not written to remain as love.
Looking for the answers beneath each cup.
Never knowing if it could have been.
This entire saga has been one bad dream.
Now I must keep walking into the abyss.
Will I ever find true bliss.
Missing each and every kiss.
The journey was bumpy to say the least.
The arguments generated an uneasy feast.
Creating constant agony as we never stayed happy.
A lonely path was written for me, this is still ******
I thought I was in control.
Her words were strong in packs as they whispered to capture.
Did she realise that her weapon created the demolition of chapter.
Apr 15, 2015
Apr 15, 2015 at 11:07 PM UTC
Chained by your dreams
Restrained from your own laughter
the stars shock their head
you fell from grace like a tear drop
in the middle of the night
Abandoned by your own shadow
As heaven fell from its crown
so did you.
I use to wonder
If you were a star
ore an angel
What kind of drugs
did it take to incarcerat
your demons?
What kind of nightmares
would you have on replay
I wonder if death
wasent an ending
but maybe just an escape
from this we call life.
Apr 27, 2016
Apr 27, 2016 at 5:56 PM UTC
There you are... look at you looking at me...
killing it like a mother fucka....making me fall for you like a mother *****
you lock me in chains without touching me.... and you keep me without knowing it...
or do you?
do you know you've stuck me in a emotional cage?...that your playing with my feelings?
do you know i how much i want you mine?
nah i doubt it....
the way you help me out whenever i need you...
the way you get so close to me...
i want to think you do it on purpose...
wish i wasent so clueless
Jul 24, 2013
Jul 24, 2013 at 2:26 AM UTC
Have you unknownly unzipped
a dress that was not intended for your body?
I am in your torturous embrace
embroidered with unkind words
delicate lace made of wild suggestions
I wish the sex wasent made up
with lies and fantasies
I could never fulfill
a time consuming mainstream
woven into your manly mind
Turning my bone into plastic
Oct 11, 2015
Oct 11, 2015 at 5:30 PM UTC
Time is my biggest issue right now...
I feel like my life is..
Forever on pause.
I hate this place..
I hate coming home...
I want my new life to start...
I want this place to become a distant memory...
A forgotten Atlantis city...
Swallowed up and buried..
By the raging sea...
If I could just speed up time..
This would allow my brain to sleep..
To regroup..
To erase all the fake friends...
Erase you...
Erase what I felt for you that wasent true...
Wasent real...
All I need is time to pass me by...
But...
Time is keeping me prisoner...
everyday testing me...
Is there no end..
To this hellish chapter?
I've won that long drawn out battle..
I've proven myself...
To God..
And everyone else...
I want to retire..
Let me close my eyes...
And sleep...
Forgetting all the...
Monsters and freaks..
That always seem to creep...
Let me bury this chapter deep...
So that I can..
Finally be free.
Oct 11, 2017
Oct 11, 2017 at 5:54 AM UTC
I wasent cool,
Or a fool.
I was new to the game,
See why im not the same?
Who writes for today no Ginsburg Gonzo or Blake,
Just books in print not words no one could mistake.
Write to free your mind,
possibly the last freedom we find.
Apr 22, 2014
Apr 22, 2014 at 7:56 AM UTC
It only matters if you care.
If a tree falls and no one is around does it does it make a sound?
If i were to die tonight would my body be found.
Profound thought processes that make me think that my existences is proficient and special but in truth im just a cosmic spec of dust that will be forgotten in the infinitesimal cosmic pool of time.
Where it wasent divine will that makes me human swine
but just random chance,
my existence should be a crime.
Thinking that im able to exists,
to actually be remembered by you few who i have met in my life,
the joy, happiness,
pain and strife i have caused.
But the clause in this existence is that all that ever existed will paused.
My life as easily ctrl, atl, deleted, replaced, rebooted, depleted, the longest and best thing i can be is food for worms,
and thats the only thing that inspires me.
When these words tired, week, ended and forgotten,
i would be long gone,
corroded and rotten
and that future doesnt look so bleak.
When no matter how profound this poem sounded,
how upset, or confounded you become...
trying to find meaning in life...
is well dumb... when everything you know will succumb to time,
and then time will succumb to itself when no one is there to record it..
Your existence is all in my head, i swear i recorded.
But with time those images become distorted and courted and then with time.. erased.
Displaced, abandoned and mis-traced.
So many faces,
names and places gone,
i just want to be remembered
for some one to hold on..
A little piece of immortality,
a little piece of immorality,
something so dastardly you couldnt help but remember,
but sadly the reality of my simple existence is thus..
my existence is a random bust,
a popped bubble with no ripples,
the concept of infinity is some where around the idea of that simplicity existential connectivity that makes us thus.
I shall die and that is the end.
No one will care, and....
it wont even matter.
Jul 16, 2014
Jul 16, 2014 at 1:15 PM UTC
I think we need a drive with the windows down
Let me make you laugh can hardly stand to see you frown
I think we need a night lost in the music
Smoke one, smoke two, with you,
Mistake making, should be learning my lessons but im steady baking.
**** them **** them only investing time into people who do more than taking, thought about taking you, but anyways I wasent given my time for the wastin
so I always make sure to do what feels right,
I mean like I pay attention to everything
always watching to see if my dreams have meaning.
for you I really cared
Jul 30, 2016
Jul 30, 2016 at 10:02 PM UTC
Yea...
. listen....
. i never had a decent position in witch to breath in.
got the genes of heathens deeply in seeded.
A product of underage teens breedin.
mother was a young fiend, decided to leave cuz she could see my understanding.
Father fled before he ever meet his son
who grew up thinkin he didint have one
a young boy yearned for affection but found addiction
An affliction given by wrongly driven individuals given a child to keep innocent
Wanted me to sleep and didint think of the consequences
an only child grew up isolated from friends
Had a cousin he he loved but wasent allowed around enough because he knew to much.
knew more than they thought cuz early on he was taught the rules on keepin your mouth shut.
Its kinda like, how is this alright
It could be described as just bein life
Sad as it is same thing goes for alot of kids
could blame the parents but neglect breeds patients And exposure leads the mind to act older.
never pitty yourself for the lack of a shoulder
Grow your mind stronger and take bein pushed aside as a time to grow older
Don't live with regret even if you didint cause it
Every moment you live is then reason to know you came to earth independent......
Be proud to grow up with out
ain't a reason to shout but when make it at least you know you didint cop out
and the world can't take **** away cuz everything you have today you built from the ground with bare hand and past full of white sound
Aug 15, 2016
Aug 15, 2016 at 7:07 AM UTC
Seen as a king by the friends around me
The boss of all bosses nobody ***** with me.
I don't just play games and smoke ****
I was raised to handle business and never flee
I take punks with potential and teach
im not the best person to wanna be
im one person who earned my respect by movin my feet
keeping my lips tight and if need be takin the heat.
I know random information that no one could teach
School wasent the place for me but im smart as anybody
Knowledge taught about the streets is how we learn to live wherever we be
Aug 3, 2016
Aug 3, 2016 at 4:03 AM UTC
First off I'd like to introduce myself ill use my nick name so the common wealth can't find someone to blame and send to jail...
My uncle was like my father and named me ztickz cuz I was skinny and strong. he took care of me and helped me along. this is a poem that ill read like a song, its a story asking how it went so wrong...
So learn the words and speak along.
long before my eyes were blue and my hair was blond my father was gone and my mom was doing it all wrong. teenage girl with a big belly smokin out a dope **** Drinkin with the hopes that the bump would be gone.
December 97 is when i came along, born ****** up i couldent tell you everything mom was on. Liquor brought me out quicker and dope gave her hope that the party was on. Barely turned 16 gave birth to me and couldent deal with thinking that her fun was gone. She was young thin and blond she wasent gonna stop until her body wouldn't let her party on.I can't recall cuz i was to young but im sure a week of rest was to long. Started out she was never gonna be away for to long.
Jul 10, 2016
Jul 10, 2016 at 8:17 AM UTC