"sanitizing" poems
You're here.
We don't talk,
but I'm quietly watching you,
so when you make eye contact shyly
it's easy to know what we are doing.
You approach me,
sanitizing wipe, Band-Aid, and mic
(complete with wires)
and peel the plastic.
Swab my cheek gently,
and I smell the alcohol
but it's a pleasant
smell now.
Put the mic over my ear,
position it against the side of my face,
tape the Band-Aid to my cheek,
fingers brushing my skin.
You send the wire down my dress,
pull up my skirt and reach up for the end,
soft fingers lightly skimming over my back.
Adjust the mic in its belt, and lower the fabric.
Tell me in your sweet voice:
"Look right"
I do, "oh, hair", you say, and I pull
my ponytail out of your way,
thinking of your soft short hair.
Then, "Look straight"
and as I do, and you tape the mic tape
against my neck, I'm thinking
"I do."
Backstage I think to myself
that you haven't done anyone else's mics,
and this makes me feel good.
I know later I'll be watching for you
to be free, so I can feel your hands
near me, watch your eyes rimmed
with liner as they study the mic
hooked to my face.
Crouching slightly as you are up
on tip-toes, and we can communicate
silently once more.
Dec 8, 2013
Dec 8, 2013 at 7:58 AM UTC
always woke up with nothing to say to her
not a thing.
we slept in rooms separate,
but she would bust in on me,
occasionally, to have an occasion,
never knocking, just door pounding,
just to annoy, just to see
if I still cared, hoping to revoke
what passed for pseudo-serenity.
some times entireties
would pass
before you had the energies
to swing
your legs over the
side of the day~bed,
conceding, white flag surrendering,
losing the commencing-avoidance of
the start-of-the-day battle of
pseudo-existence.
hoping against hope
you don't meet,
hoping against hope
she doesn't say accidentally,
good morning.
so you don't have to
Lincoln~Douglas debate,
aerate, concentrate, orate,
how to answer without bitterness
intended to maim.
knowing you could not e'er possess
a good morning, day, night,
by definition, by ruling of the
gods in charge of never.
sometimes you made it out
of the apartment that had
no ingress,
only egress,
happy happy no converse.
used to go to a Barnes & Noble,
get a refillable endless Starbucks,
from open to closing.
read all day, sitting with strangers,
till my **** hurt so bad,
didn't think I could walk again.
now and then,
smiled at the ladies,
tho nothing could come of it,
nothing ever did.
she never asked me
where I egressed too.
didn't care, that was better
for sanitizing my pseudo-sanity.
came home cautiously,
door opening silently
in case I was home prematurely,
she still there.
sometimes you wake up with nothing to say
to yourself.
that is even worse,
cause the meaning clear,
breaking point is near.
have a picture of me from those days.
a cellphone photo I took myself,
of course.
serious, bearded, short haired,
red eyed, unfiltered.
Sometimes I think I will banner it,
so you can tap into a part of me
that words just cannot do injustice to,
more than was already done.
here, while composing,
I fell asleep.
tired?
maybe. maybe,
sometimes you just don't want to remember.
Nov 9, 2013
Nov 9, 2013 at 11:46 AM UTC
I’ll start out by saying that my parents don’t like us to label ourselves.
They don’t like us to share them either.
As a child it used to take me at least two hours to fall asleep.
Thoughts would race through my head like boxcars.
I would repeat what I was excited about the most
until my brain would get tired enough to let me rest.
Some doctors would call that insomnia, but that’s not what I had.
Since the age of six, I haven’t believed in god.
His existence always felt like a fairytale
that adults never grew out of.
Some people would call this atheism, but that’s not what I have.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been worried.
Every event in my day was cause for panic.
I would string them along like paper chains
with no rest in between.
Some doctors call that anxiety, but that’s not what I have.
I can’t remember a time when I didn’t pick at my skin.
I’ll rip off pieces until my skin gets mad
and bleeds red with anger.
Some doctors would call that dermatillomania, but that’s not what I have.
Since middle school, I’ve been afraid of germs.
I won’t touch my face without washing my hands first
which makes it take twice as long to put on makeup.
I can’t eat without sanitizing my hands
which makes people skeptical to get to know you better.
Some doctors would call that germaphobia, but that’s not what I have.
When I was fifteen my throat used to close up
every time I thought about death.
Sometimes you don’t realize you’re breathing until you’re gasping for air.
Some doctors call that a panic attack, but that’s not what I had.
I’ve been on antidepressants for three years
in order to calm down my brain
from running too many marathons.
My heart was never able to catch up.
Some doctors might say that this is because I was depressed.
But that’s not what I have.
My therapist told me…
— **** I wasn’t supposed to tell you that.
Somebody told me to come here today so that
I could be honest to myself and others
about the problems that don’t have names.
The words that I can’t say out loud.
I’m hoping with this discussion
I will someday be able to say that
I used to not be able to fall asleep for hours.
I used to not believe in god, I used to worry all the time.
That I no longer pick at my skin.
I’m no longer afraid of germs.
My throat used to close up,
and I’m no longer on antidepressants.
Because I have problems that can't be labelled.
Mar 14, 2016
Mar 14, 2016 at 12:49 PM UTC
Hi-ho Hi-ho it's sanitizing I go,
With a pump and spray
Killing covid 19 on my way
Hi-low Hi-low I got a cough
Not going away,
Getting harder to breath.
With a high temperature
Its off to hospital I go...
Hi-low Hi-low
Hi-low Hi-low I'm here to stay
Still feeling weak
Harder to breath
But I'm social distancing
More than I did.
Hi-low Hi-low no gloves on as
it doesn't protect as you,
more germs
Collecting than you know.
Hi-low Hi-low
So many passing away,
Doctors, medics
Normal people in every
Walk of life,
I cried as I felt Hi-low
Hi-low Hi-low it's the way we go,
We have our high days and
Then lows..
When we just want it over,
lock down h ere to stay,
but were alive and the peak is low.
Apr 16, 2020
Apr 16, 2020 at 4:15 AM UTC
My Kryptonite,
A month has never before felt like a year.
30 days of breakdowns and sanitizing my tears
A month alone-
Quarantined from everything but my thoughts of you
Just one day is what I crave
24 hours of bliss that bring me back from the disassociation of the everyday
I know I shouldn't risk life for a day with you
Yet the temptation grows as fast as COVID does
Tell me it's wrong
That I should keep us both safe
Remind me of the cost even if it hurts me to hear
Remind me that 30 days is nothing compared to a life without you.
Day 30 and I want to risk it all.
Apr 13, 2020
Apr 13, 2020 at 9:00 PM UTC
The ugly Monster energy hoodie
She wears every day,
Her hair swept back in a greasy mess,
A knife with a mushy handle
That was left in the sanitizing water too long
In hand
As she gingerly dices lettuce.
She always gets quiet when she criticizes me.
I’m just trying to earn my minimum wage,
But she had a bad day at home,
So she’ll find fault in whatever I’m doing.
Go home and fall asleep,
It’s only 10am,
My sheets are fresh,
And my clothes aren’t.
Then he calls me and tells me to wake up.
The kitchen has miniature milky ways
floating around in the sunlight dripping from the windows,
It smells like dinner from yesterday
And alspice.
My mother is still wearing her maroon bathrobe,
Her hair is a tangled halo framing her face in imperfect curls,
She’s sorting the spices.
She doesn’t understand why I’m unable to keep up with her busy chatter.
It’s a habit to repeat what I must do to stay alive to myself,
As if I’m both child and mother, giving a list of instructions and dragging my feet to follow.
“Brush your teeth,”
“Wash your face,”
“Take a shower,”
“You haven’t eaten yet today,”
“Do laundry,”
“Go to sleep,”
“Talk to your friends,”
“Pay your bills,”
“Go to work,”
“Wake up,”
“Don’t go back to sleep,”
“Drink water,”
“No alcohol before 5pm.”
Keep going.
Somehow, keep going.
My evenings are spent
With my hands tenderly ********* the long neck
Of a beer bottle.
My lips pursed,
Kissing the brim
And savoring every golden drop.
I try to distract myself from the absence of company,
Tell myself I like to be alone.
I go to sleep alone,
I try to fill up
The part of my bed he should be in,
And not think about it.
The cotton covers wrapped around me
Mummifying myself
In mindless sleep.
4:45am alarm,
And it all starts again.
Feb 21, 2019
Feb 21, 2019 at 8:12 PM UTC
the mainstream media feeds us
a lot of clap trap
it rarely reports the other side
of the news flap
we're drawn in by what is supposed
to be the story proper
yet there is independent
coverage on offer
mainstream media and governments
are in constant cahoots
to get to the nub of the story
the public should untangle their roots
it has been shown time and again
that we're been lead up the wrong story vein
so much of the truth is diluted
by the big media men
as they are so accommodating
of those policy making men
the facts are not always presented
in an accurate or exact way
regularly the state of the situation
is buried tidily away
the big media organizations
are our eyes and ears
to the world's happenings
but we the world community
would certainly like less of our news
undergoing all the sanitizing
linkages of media to government
do indeed exist
this ever so cozy arrangement
reports but only this combinations twist
independent news is there to give us balance
to the stories that are out there
the angels that it depicts give equilibrium
to the mainstreams daily fair
May 11, 2014
May 11, 2014 at 8:31 AM UTC
From going out
I have to refrain
Terrified by the passing by
Corona thunder and
Pandemic rain,
Oddly defying science,
A chimera,
Looming large
Again and again.
I have begun
To pine
For old me
Freely out to
The neighborhood
And street
Somebody to meet
Somebody to greet.
After Covid-19's
Shock treatment,
My reservation
I admit
In being picky
When choosing people
I used to meet.
"Love your friend
As yourself
As God said
It has dawned on me
In humanity's treasure trove
Should come peoples' love
Of course all things atop
Must be placed
In-God-vested hope.(Mark 12: 30-31)
My behavior spiraling
Out of control
A feeble and complacent
Human being
I stretched my imagination
As if God
Has secondary or no role.
As such,
Earthly pursuit
Was my goal.
Now, as King David said, (plasm 122:1)
I reflect
Going to church,
Uplifting soul, allows
With God keeping
In touch.
It has also sank in
Brushing shoulders
With collogues
Was enthusing
Aloof, on my chair
Before I perch,
At times to do
Reading research.
I realized the money
I used to stash away
To make hay,
While others were starving
And when I could become
People hungry
Had no meaning.
I want to see
The broadmass
No more afraid
Out, on their table
To put bread!
I pined my liberty of
To and fro
Breathing oxygen free
Before the
Corona lockdown decree.
I want to project
My true face
Forced not on
My lovely face
A mask to place.
With a square shoulder
I want to walk
No more ringing
In my ear
The pandemic talk.
I want to rove the land
And fly on the sky
To feast my eyes
On touristic spots
Or goods to buy,
May God allow me
Such things again
Before I die!
I also pine to see
The day
Undertakers are
No longer in a hurry
Fellow citizens
To bury.
I pray for
God's Mercy
Gramercy!
But now
Keeping social distance
Washings hands with soap
Putting on face mask
And sanitizing is
What I advance.
Apr 24, 2020
Apr 24, 2020 at 11:16 AM UTC
Covid here, covid there
Wear your mask, I just don't care
Keep your distance, it's on the rise
Wash your hands and sanitise!
Stay at home, don't go to work
It's harder there, it's not a perk
Learn 'Teams' and work from just one room
All meetings now done are done on 'Zoom'!
Rule of six outside is costly
Not so nice when it is frosty
Shopping now can be a bind
For things you cannot seem to find
At first a lull and then the panic
The crowds, the queues it all went manic
We're just like sheep and the other souls
We all stocked up on toilet rolls
Stocks of pasta and flour soon fell
Then a rush on sanitizing gel
'R' number rose, we had a part to play
So cleared the shelves of cleaning spray
Months soon past with rules for the nation
We were told to stay in isolation
Car won't start but must get wages
Battery gone flat not moved for ages
Almost a year and it's been a while
There's hope ahead with a vaccine trial
We yearn for Christmas, restriction free
Oh hang on no, we're in tier three!
With restrictions lifted for a three day slot
Three families can meet or maybe not?
So meet your family, it will be so good
But only you know if you should
Covid confusion for a whole year
Not sure if it will bring much cheer
We must stay strong and do our bit
You'll find life's just what you make it
Christmas cancelled, they've made the call
You cannot meet anyone at all!
In tier four but still alive
No hold on now, you are in tier 5
So stay at home for the second time
The walls are closing you might have climbed
But hope is coming from multiple labs
And millions of vaccination jabs
It's all we've got from the medical pages
We pray it works as the virus rages
We've got it good, food heat and health
That's all for now, take care of yourself
The 'R' rate now is up to nine
They said past one was the end of the line
But we're still trucking, I do my best
To keep on smiling like all the rest
When back at work, things started slow
When will it stop, I do not know
We all wear masks to build resistance
And two meters apart to keep our distance
Compulsory masks have stopped at last
Many still wear them like in the past
We hope we can live with it in our community
And rely on people's herd immunity.
I've heard that there is good news at play
All restrictions have been lifted today
It's great that now we can lift the curse
And I can write the last and final verse !
Mar 17, 2022
Mar 17, 2022 at 8:41 AM UTC
When I get out of quarantine
I’ll give away these ***** blue jeans,
I’ll wash my hair, I’ll drive somewhere,
I’ll breathe someone else’s air.
Oh what a happy day!
When I can put the games away.
I’ll go out to eat,
I’ll hug everyone I meet,
I’ll shake a stranger’s hand!
(I’ll do it because I can!)
No more six feet separation.
No more stinking isolation.
No more sanitizing
(That’ll be quite energizing!)
No more conference calls.
I’ll get away from these four walls.
I’ll be quite done with Zoom,
And sitting in my living room.
Let me make it clear, I’ll be outta here, I’ll throw away this screen!
When I get out, really out, when they finally, really, totally say --
I’m finished with this quarantine!
At least till next flu season.
Apr 4, 2020
Apr 4, 2020 at 12:26 PM UTC
(
•
)
(
•
)
)
•
(
& are you too here ?
••
Nakedly
She offs her egotism and puts on her salvation
•
He strips off his bemusement
&
Cloying mannerisms
&
Glimpses reality
& & &
? ?
•
We are such fools that
Took pure simplicity
For a ride
--
Out to the killing fields
Of
Gross ungodly capitalism
••
Why do we live here ?
Why don't we just die ?
•
( an aside )
I THINK I UNDERSTAND THIS CUTTING **** NOW
WE DO WANT TO DIE!
We just lie about the reasons
COME ON NOW ! Fess up !!!
•
We are so demeaned
By this godless sanitizing
Of the psychopathic
acts of hatred
• •
Hatred of the holy
& and of all creation
••
(A question )
A QUESTION
Do any of you actually live here ?
In **** hole AMERICA ?
Amongst these liars
Thieves & killers ?
I'D REALLY LIKE TO KNOW
WHAT YOU ARE REALLY DOING
WITH YOUR LIVES
••
In the mindfulness
Of
Our mindlessness
I see
Very little going on one might call
LIFE
•
I'll be your ROMEO
You can be my JULIET
But just don't do this ******* suicide crap
at the end !
Alright?
•• ••
I'll meet you on the open road
Going to the sanctuary
In the hills
••
We'll decide what to do when we get there
Alright ?
ALRIGHT !
Jun 27, 2014
Jun 27, 2014 at 6:57 PM UTC