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Mateuš Conrad Nov 2015
it’s not everyday you get to end a 7 year psychosis
when redecorating your room to it’s “original” crimson,
having had such a simple symptom as
brain cell membranes breaking and oozing blood out,
to be misdiagnosed as mentally insane,
and when in need of help from the haemorrhage
not driven to the hospital due to the lack of *******
of having proceeded with the deed but forgetting the onslaught of law
in favour of the hurt party... well...what can you do?
move on, as i’m trying, had it been naturally based
on genetic chronology / genealogy i would have suffered in vain...
but i’m brimming with a hate for islam, and there’s nothing
to do but calm the quasi-communist protestors
in the western lands... ******* calm down... you’ll get
your freedom of speech... once you stop trying to censor vocabulary...
there’s no point learning a language if it becomes
politicised and you tell me to block vowels or consonants
in a non-kabbalistic way (which i’ll come to):
so yeah, a 7 year psychosis over a needle in a haystack...
gives me the shivers...
the many times i thought about killing someone
and feeding the emotions with not doing the act...
so many times i was almost skeletally biased to churn the
marrow haemoglobin into tendon stressor action of taking
the knife and doing halal or kosher with someone...
many a times...as many a times i saw crucifixions in edinburgh
not knowing it was going to happen in syria,
and that night when a muslim tried to mug me
in brick lane breaking down in the street of revellers
kneeling in tears screaming a prayer with tears in my eyes
of only one word: allah.
so i started redecorating my room, crimson is back from
hospital white... my bookshelf is rearranged...
on the left on the top shelf fictional books i either read
or didn’t bother to read because of the movies...
to the right on the shelf psychiatric and philosophical books...
the next shelf is a poetry “corner,” well it elongates beyond the corner...
and it’s split by a dictionary with the right bit of the shelf filled
with english poetry and some literature that’s poetic, and french,
the dictionary is planted to segregate the poetry books,
to the left of the dictionary is a book of greek myths
(did you know all greek theology is derived from the new testament
and not from the testament of orpheus or hercules or Perseus?),
then a book on meditative kabblah... then polish books of poetry.
so i rearranged the room, but i also lodged
an essayist’s book on melancholia, a book on depression
a book on an intro. to jung and a book on
schizophrenia lodged between these massive collections:
to the left all the art books... to the right all the books concerning chemistry...
so the books in between can’t really be seen.
as of today i woke with a p.s. from dreams, or a p.s. in dreams,
i woke and imagined myself talking to my mother
about the identity of al-dajjal... the false messiah,
within the conscious realm i just said the words out of the window:
fool you fool me, when mecca / medina become west of paris / london,
i’ll accept riyadh to be east of tehran / new delhi...
then we'll marginalise plateau east with copernican east
via the stars, and wander aimlessly trying to copper-fill
the sun at sunset...
he (muhammad) said the man would be of his nation,
and he said so with a warning...
but ibn saud got away weighing in at 160kg, diabetic and a brawler
with the stomach, the decadent of all that choose either sugary decadence
or some other form of mental instability in the chosen trade of stolen organs.
me? i keep my sanity with the tetragrammaton, cipher this:
this numerology *******, and it is ******* will not do...
enter platonic forms:
y is so so much more than just 25...
what will you see through y with the number 25?
what? nothing, dry brute that i am...
Y represent 3 dimensional space...
the first h is not important given the second h... which is deja vu,
which is less than what malachi insisted with the fractioned god of
the fractioned “elijah” reincarnated...
deja vu can be explained with science as one of the brain’s tricks
to sense this familiarity of seeing an elephant and acknowledging
the five blind men touching it up for comparative jokes,
the W... well... at least it’s not M... given that the trigonometric cosine continuum
begins at 1.... god is one... ring a bell? well better that than
beginning with the trigonometric sine continuum, which begins with 0...
forget numerology... numbers and letters aren’t related...
forget the dogmatism of rabbis - it makes no sense to say a = 1, b = 2 etc.
and then take a word like ape, and say: ‘ah, a = 1, p = 16 and e = 5; by god!
that’s a kabbalistic synonymity of the word... pea!’
where’s the jolly green giant when you need him, eh?
just look at what a phonetic symbol represents...
like secondary darwinism of a primate hissing to alert the presence
of a snake... past darwinism... past drawing antelopes
in french caves... in the realm of abstract phoneticism that
gave us the cognitive genesis... and made as... dare i say... a bit myopic
in a solipsistic sense.
p.s. ah... what are the newspapers saying?
slapstick humour is one of the prime causes of dementia? huh?!
yes, prime minister... is satire comedy?
how the hell can yes, prime minister be categorised as satire
if it uses canned laughter?
see that bloke over there... doing the omnivore pelican dance?
he joked so readily and active that he created authentic laughter...
don’t know where your satire is going... but it certainly left me gagging
for a springroll.
now now... absurdist comedy is too oxbridge for me...
kings and gentlemen get educated in either st. andrew’s or edinburgh...
we laugh at ourselves.
alt. to canned laughter, given that "canned laughter"
is reserved for the authentic laughter of the crowd
at a live show? what's the antonym of canned laughter
in televised satire? picky laughter... i.e. only one person
in an schoolroom of 30 gets the joke, apart from the comedian...
that lonely everest ha ha... ooh chills, frozen prawns in gravy.
E Sep 2014
Old love letters paper the walls of my study.
Faded and peeling,
a few fall into the shadows
while most remain,
stubborn, insistent,
unyielding and unapologetic.

Oh, how the ink has begun to bleed!
To tattoo the dull, white paint in glimpses
between the letters,
as if I can hear their words
humming in a melody of minor chords.

I've stopped checking the mailbox,
full and lonely,
we are enemies.

Bookshelves surround me as well,
keepers of cluttered wisdom,
tomes of goodbyes, adieus,
and one or two apologies.

The stale air holds a minor chord--
the fermata of my early twenties
extends in a one significant pause:

You tell me,
We are not our history.
And then light the single match
illuminating
certain, brown eyes
and too much ruined papers.

Flames singe and curl the wallpaper
The fire sings over the sounds of my past.

We are alive in the crucible,
flames caressing my memories
now only in the fireplace
you have found in the corner.

Silent warmth and bare walls,
We sit down to write a new book,
bound in autumn leaves and cold rain,
and in a new handwriting,
You begin:
*We are alive in the crucible.
Portland Grace Oct 2013
Tonight my anxiety is too bad to sleep
so I am repainting the walls of my heart,
so long over-due
and I have already decorated pink
over the scars you left,
and blue
on the fresh wounds
he cut me with tonight
and I've put both your names in the shredder,
because I just tidied up the living space
and I'm through
with all this ******* chaos.
Molly Byrne Apr 2018
I think he’s worried that if he gives me the keys I will walk into his heart and immediately start redecorating. He has things set up the way he likes and he doesn’t want his posters torn down for wall decals of birds and quotes about love. He knows (it’s happened before) that most people can’t help but want to change things. No matter how much they like the way it looks, they can’t help but get started thinking what if… They have their ideas about how it should look. They want to put in their night tables and their paper lanterns. They want to make your heart theirs.
And when they leave (which they inevitably do, we are all some sort of nomad) they take some parts and leave others and you are left with a half full, cluttered heart. You have to make the long and painful decisions about what belongs there; try to remember what was there before she came. You try to sift out which parts of you she built, and which parts are worth keeping.

What he doesn’t understand about me is that I am not in the habit of making homes. I don’t like too much to stay. A blanket, bed and books are all I need. So he can keep his posters, and hang whatever lights he wants. If I admire the décor its only because I can see the way it lights up his eyes.
So I keep knocking, I keep peeking in the windows. And he keeps stalling, putting things in their right place, worried that if he lets me in I’ll start knocking things down.  And I can’t claim to not be a master of messes. I can’t claim I wont throw my laundry on the floor, and forget to scrub the toilet, and get sugar in the crevices of all the kitchen appliances for some late night cupcakes.
But I am not the type to move furniture. And when I’m gone it will be all yours again, every quiet corner. Maybe just a fingerful of sugar lingering behind a clean coffee mug will remind you that I was ever there at all.
Andrew Parker May 2014
Never Have I Ever (Slam Poem)
5/27/2014

Having a best friend makes you think of weird things.

Stuff like:
Getting slapped in the face with a fish is more about smell than texture.
13 nights in a row drinking isn't so bad if you save cash not using mixers.
A stranger hitting on you is a storyline for tomorrow's lunch.
Redecorating my room is just for you, nobody else will see it.
You asked me to go shop with you, are you saying I need new clothes?
Crushing Ritalin in a bathroom, because we stayed up 'til 6am before work.
Pooping is like extra time in the day set aside to call you on the phone.
Why do we play Never Have I Ever when we already know the ever's?
People think we constantly say inside jokes, but we're just telepathic.
I get into shape before you visit town, because you're my best wingman.
If we ever stop being friends, I really hope you don't blackmail me.
Can I designate you to speak at my wedding, babyshower, and funeral?
... or is it too soon to do that?

Losing friends can make you think of weird things, I imagine.

Stuff like:
1. I should stop ordering carne asada fries - I can't finish a whole portion.
2. I keep my curtains closed - I know your car won't randomly be outside.
3. Having lunch alone ***** - I shared a crazy story with the cashier today.
4. I take my poops with the stereo on now - I never could go in silence.
5. My voicemail inbox is full - I can't delete any when your voice pops up.
6. Maybe I should call you.
7. I need to talk to you.
8. I wish I could call you.
9. If only you'd come visit town.
10. Maybe I should go visit the cemetery.
11. I have a new least favorite Never Have I Ever.
12. Never Have I Ever had a best friend die.

And I hope I never ever will put that finger down.
Wednesday Feb 2014
I finally died on a Wednesday night

My dad was in Atlanta with his family
But that’s the way it’s always been
And that’s the way it will always be

My mother was at her boyfriend’s house 15 minutes away
Starting her new life
The one where she tries to forget about me
Maybe if she keeps redecorating his house
She can find a way to hide me in the corner
Collecting dust and spider webs
My picture on the wall hidden by a sea blue curtain

And my siblings were in his basement watching TV
Probably fighting and getting ready to sleep
I never knew that every time I refused dinner or a movie with them
I was sealing my fate like my coffin lid

I was born on a Wednesday evening
5:15 pm at 4 pounds
I entered this world early and that’s how I left it

I killed myself on a Wednesday

I left behind cabinets full of pills I always said I would take
I left 19 notebooks of half written poetry
A few finished paintings and pastel scribbles
And a bowl of almost empty cereal left in my drawer

I left with scars on my body and burns

I left three bobby pins in my boyfriend’s window sill
Locks of my hair still in the kitchen trash
Lighters and pipes still hidden under my mattress

I left my bath water in the tub, turning cold as my body
***** socks crumpled in the corners of my sheets
I left my favorite shirt on my floor

I left my books opened
Underlined all the words I never could say aloud
I kept my favorite CD in the player in my car

I left my toothbrush out and my window open

I left an unfinished prophecy
Mateuš Conrad Nov 2015
what terrible news, the marx in me said it true, article heading: mental health gets only 1% of council tax...£664 million a year on ****** health... £111 million on tackling obesity. here’s a simpler explanation... c.d. is part of hardware... mp3 is soft-ware... get a scratched c.d. and turn the hardware into software... then put the virus mp3 onto an iPod, which is hardware... then watch the technological virology take over... the host hardware will break, given that the parasitic software is implanted from a sick hardware it was copied from.*

i was redecorating my mother’s living room,
for a handshake and the prize:
don’t interrupt my drinking pattern, woman please!
so i found to ancient scribbles of paint,
but then hid them like a treasure chest...
i also found the vol. no. 2 of kant’s critique of pure reason
under one of the pieces of furniture...
over a year i lost it... blamed everyone i knew...
but in reality the realisation came when i rekindled
the bookmark coordinate:
it took me two conscious years to read heidegger’s opus,
consciously defined by reading poetry on the sly...
with kant i ended my reading with the introduction of hegel:
antonyms of a pure mind - the third conflict between transcendental ideas -
i got the antithesis straight away... mainly because it spoke of freedom...
while the thesis spoke of the laws of nature and 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...
0 central...
it spoke of sequencing of events... it spoke of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
as paradoxical of 2, 3, 4, 5... and 3, 4, 5 and 4, 5, and 5.
i think i better translate this passage to exemplify the point...
i lost kant for over a year and the **** sizzled...
i kept heidgegger for a year and i came out wondering
why it should take someone 15 years to study aristotle by the man’s suggestion,
so i had myself the alternative:
philosophy begins with awe... well... so does tourism.
let's just say there are corridors at the junction...
we say i almost pickled a cat's paw with wet cinnamon
or ketchup to imprint a paw-print with the gaff quote:
i was here, i found the sound meow inexplicable,
incomprehensible... given the human complications,
i decided to utilise meow with randomisation away
from my superior intuition... whereby the phoneticism
of meow was less than my eyesight and hearing...
so i announced the whiskers and fur and snake-eye in mammal
with a meow... i used meow to communicate with the complex
vowel-consonant reason, but i found my intuition
in rachmaninoff's vocalise wordless song... with my ear against
the radio dreaming away... so said man un-attentive of me...
that i managed to mingle my instinct without the meow
asking for butter... and instead for the daydream...
diva lute diva tangled... diva es lute es flos...
there i was... the cat of abashed baptisms at the fountains of
the baptist with my head wetted...
careless for the dung bag walking partner, or the plaything
i was forced to take interest in... my casual...
fat for keratin, as if fat translated from man unto animal
to ask the boar for the daydream of the conveyor belt
with lost fur and gained fat...
off with my shirt i too graded the follow-up...
as a loss in the tightened woods of winter with the losing shadow
of the shadows of beckoned crowns not adorned in vogue.
but this was only 1912... five years before the revulsion...
before the revolution... five years! spent in the abode of harmonics
by the piano i tried to mistune to write a deathly haunt of presence...
operatic alphabets twisted me into recovering from
the foremost attraction of failure... the neglige of virginity lost
to the public's applause missing...
i too could have vouched a coming back: of spirals away from
the champagne starlight in bouquet crescendos,
for the simple minded aura of perfection - but i vouched
hypnosis as the adequate precursor of staging fright
as the lost composition rekindled into revisionary composition
regained - there too i found the picturesque familiarity
of unsung hilltops regaining strength in the longshanks' heels
as if by deed of achilles in strength regained...
to frighten the lowlands with that glorious fame of
being poisoned by the gratifications of excess in the untrodden path
thus trodden by ear and echo rather than foot,
into the zephyrs of the larynx-ballerinas upon mountain-tops...
thus there, among the content misanthropes -
i too searched orpheus' mirror and prometheus' stone
to be bound to an eternal moment that denied all
other eternal moments and furthered the denial
by not allowing a bullish billion of china
its existential prowess among nations so frequented
by scandinavian description.
Thomas Newlove Sep 2017
Happiness can be bought.
One rises, one falls.
Children starve, blood is spilt and wars are fought
Over what shade of cream adorns our walls
Brian Carson Dec 2013
I died back in '85
but I was told my whole life
I was alive

the mattress I sleep on
is stained with my tears
multiplied with the years
of emotional trauma and fear
fear of dying alone

I pour my heart into different bowls
add some water and mix it with a brush
then sling it onto the blank walls
of the asylum
I built inside of myself
where I go to forget
that I have died before
and this is hell

the colors bent with the corners of the room
a different part of myself is in bloom
I'm redecorating my mind
as an abstract collage of everything I've learned so far
in my short amount of time

I entered back in '85
and it took twenty eight years to realize
that I have been dead this entire time
Paula Swanson Aug 2010
Once a feral kitten, that hubby took pity on
Found in a scrap yard, to hubby, he did bond.

I carry jars of homemade jam, down the basement stairs.
He swipes at my legs, I drop the jars.  He doesn't care.
I'm straitening the bathroom drawer, he gets all frenzied.
Later on that day, I find, all the contents emptied.

I pick fresh flowers, neatly arrange them in a vase,
it only took few seconds.  There's petals on his face.
Our, brand new, leather furniture arrives, to our joy.
He claws the cushion up, looking for his catnip toy.

Christmas tree full of lights, with my antique ornaments.
He attacked!  Maybe he thought he was protecting us?

You might ask why it is we keep such a rascal cat.
Look at that innocent face.  I couldn't refuse that.
When it is, that we think about redecorating,
we just point and say, "This is why we can't have nice things"
Steve Turtell Feb 2015
It had been raining for ten years—
just after our vows too, when the life
of the party shouted “Drop dead.”
What aplomb! All those faithless Springs
suddenly worthless. Years of abandonment
counting for nothing. Oh horrors of
enchantment, beauty of truculence.
You can always depend upon the hostility of lovers
But we, a glamorous, shuddering chorus,
eyes averted, move en pointe past
the confessional’s lurid glow,
that peep-show of self-pity. Really, Mary!

As if our holy yawns don’t prove
we’re simply riddled with purity
and will float softly, silently
as the dreams of the inconsolable rhinoceri,
pitiable as the tears of lost seagulls,
sure as Adam’s apple pie, straight to heaven.
The angels’ impatience says we’ve
all prayed for too little and they
can’t wait to scold us. God’s redecorating.
He wants all his darlings back.

Oh Frank. Have you missed us terribly,
whom you never met? I picture your daily
grand jeté over the sun, knowing the moon
never tires of loving you. I long to change
costumes and visit. Let’s see. Blandishments,
pitchforks, foreskins. Well! But then Edward
told me you had the longest he’d ever seen.
My mother loved me so I got to keep mine,
ensuring that there I would always be a goy.
Just knowing that I’ve kissed lips that once
kissed yours—but enough. Discretion is
the better part of careerism. Now there
is only one poet I love to read while dreaming.
DancingEnt Mar 2018
There's a cat living in my head
and he's redecorating.
Clawing at the sides of my skull,
tearing down the wall paper that was there.
But he doesn't seem fond of putting up something new,
just wants to leave the gouges so the pain can seep through.

He doesn't travel far.
To the back and then the front again,
but he never strays to the left.
He hugs the right wall of my head
like he'll die if he tries to leave
Just digging new trenches as he goes

When he feels really inspired
he gets a hammer and
BANG
BANG
BANG
new places that throb and throb for hours
never leaving me at peace
but he's happy with what he's created

I've been told there's a piece of metal I can get
to lock him out, keep him out, and throw away the key
some people say it worked for them and I'm just hoping
that it also works for me
I get migraines a lot. It *****. I have one right now and I'm also sick with a sinus thing so I'm just miserable
Paige Jul 2019
I’m supposed to be happy right now
Fitting into dresses and stretch pants
And eating pickles
I’m supposed to be glowing
Watching my tummy grow
And picking out the perfect name
I would’ve known by now
Whether you’d be born a girl or boy
What color your room might be
I’m supposed to be emotional
But a different type than I am now
I’m supposed to cry over things
Like spilled milk
And unlikely animal friends
But I’m crying over emptiness instead
Loneliness
Fear
I’m not supposed to be sad right now
I’m supposed to be measuring my belly
And eating lots of fruit
Going to doctors
And listening to your tiny heartbeat
I’m supposed to be there
I’m supposed to be overjoyed
And excited
And worried
I’m supposed to be making plans
And decorating and redecorating
And driving your daddy crazy
I am supposed to be a mom
I should be looking at tiny clothes
And little shoes we’ll use once
Buying dehumidifiers and strollers
Reading pamphlets and dodging cravings
I should be complaining
About stretch marks and growing feet and sweaty palms
I should be loving every inch of you already
And struggling with stupid simple tasks
I should be moody
And impossible
And hungry
And eager to meet my tiny human
My sweet baby
My whole heart...
But I’m not.
I’m supposed to be pregnant
And I’m not
I’m supposed to be waiting for you
And I can’t
Because I lost you.
Because you’re already gone.
And all I have left of you is memories
Of cravings and emotions and ideas
A doctors visit and a photo of my first test
A faint pink line
I’m supposed to be halfway there...
And I’m not
DreTheAstronaut Apr 2014
Can't i **** ....your ....Mind?
I promise to go deeper than anybody that came before me. If I give you the gift of mental stimulation , only thing I ask in return is your loyalty.
It's been a minute since you met somebody that wanted to get in your head before they wanted to feel the rest of you
It's been even longer since you fell in love with somebody before they fell in love with having *** with you. I want to see what you look like when you're naked . I want to be so deep and wide that you're willing to testify before god that with everybody else you let inside your walls , you must have been faking it.
When is the last time you had a conversational ******?
The kind that has you redecorating my place while you're at  work, picking out color schemes and floor patterns
Can we eat each other?
I want to swallow your dreams and quench your thirst for greatness with my motivation of your ambitions.
I want to feed your fears with my consistency. All I ask in return is that on your way home from work you stop and pick up some new positions.
Journey of Days Apr 2017
from your perch, the throne of bones and rubble
your prized real estate
scraped up from the wreckage of failed relationships
and immoral battles you have waged

from that height, sitting on your throne of bones and rubble
do you deign to think of those slaughtered
through your witless actions
and opportunistic smiles

is the view worth it?
does the stench reach your refined nose?
do the maggots tickle your toes?

bones and rubble have a memory
they tell stories
even if the colour consultant you hired
has done such a wonderful job redecorating
your false stories

@journeyofdays
loggi Jan 2018
Listen please,
  I hear the call
As the paint drips
  From the wall and
Onto the floor.

We are redecorating
Only, we are temporary
As we splatter
To get out the past.
  But hey, I like
  This color
As my hands are
Coated with some
  Thick lacquer
That holds my nails
And wrinkles of my skin.

This hue will go well
With what we don’t have
As the brush smears
The globs
Of pastel
And wipes out
The wallpaper,
Of the previous owner.
Layered away
We discolor,
In layers we
Bury them.
Yazad Tafti Apr 2021
you pull me in so deep
until i don't want to find a way out

you say make myself at home
and then i start redecorating all the walls

you are a magnet with a north pole
but i remagnetize both my poles to only be south

you welcome me with open arms
until i recognize that as the only form of greeting

you say my clothes are yours
and i reinvent your whole fashion line

you say what's mine is yours
and i write my name on everything to commemorate

your eyes are the ones i stare into
until they are the only ones i still recognize

and when you say LEAVE
i say you are the one in

MY
house
comfort in uncomfortable territories leads to discomfort for the comforter
don;t comfort someone you aren't comfortable with :::DDD
Jordan Frances Feb 2016
Just last week,
I started making room for the queer in me.
I've been rearranging the furniture
Redecorating the interior
All because I like women.
I have been taught to make room for things all my life
But those things have always tried to **** me
Like diets, exercise that always went a little bit too far
I need more empty space than fat
So they tell me to expand by shrinking my frame down?
Oh, and boys on the street who stitch my mouth shut
Because I have been told to create voids for the words "yes" and "sorry"
Now, the house is finally becoming mine
I am painting the walls the color I want them to be
No one is going to tell me my new living area is just a phase
I can finally hear my own voice and it is saying her name
Like a skipping CD
It can't stop
It doesn't want to
Lost somewhere between her amber eyes
And the ocean
There is an ocean between us dear
The world will try to make it permanent
But I want to close the gap
Between my body and my identity
I will make room in my life
For you.
Berry Blue Aug 2019
I've been dreaming about the sun
as far back as one and two.
I've been redecorating my resting place for twenty-one years.
But a grave is a grave is a grave is a grave
no matter the time it takes
to masquerade
my brave.
I've never been brave enough to face the light of day.
I've lived by reflected light.
It easy to stare at the moon by eyesight.
How do I stare at the sun with eyesight?

you came
to me past twilight and watched me redecorate.
I planted flowers in the grave.
but a grave is a grave is a grave is a grave
no matter how many flowers bloom at midnight.
(None of them did)
What then changed?

I took off the mask and let you open the door
and now
The light from the sky floods my grave with a force of a million volts.
I am reminded of the time
I thought I would never run through fields of ultraviolets.
Today I walk out of my grave.
To the day!

To what should I be afraid?
My fields are shot with blue violets.
The roots rip open grounds
as buds blossom with violence.
To what should I be afraid?

Today, because of you,
a grave is not a grave.
Today, because of you,
I wake up to the sun.
I'm staring at the sun without eyesight.
I love you
I feel the warmth of sunlight.
To the boy i love
Poetoftheway Jun 2020
it’s a daiquiri colored morn, countlessly
as I, gazing never tiring, of a vista I’ve seen,
awoken to, endlessly changing, voyagers of
birds and boats, the redecorating minimalists,
moving pieces on a latticed shadow lawn

the Sun eastern, asking the trees to turn and bow,
hence the shadows their branches cast are a waffling,
hopscotch pattern irregular, so jumping from/to
yellow-green sunspots, the children are delighted by a
new game, moving to and from and between an ever
changing crazy chessboard of light-patches unsquared

described, written of, yet here I am, once again, a servant
despairing, looking for new combinations of superlatives,
though I never spoke before of it as a vista,
until today, wondering why, perhaps because
it’s here, one lives, one doesn’t conceive of  being
part and parcel of a vista, humans, just visitors,
pawn observers, gallery visitors, art appreciators,
transient hobos after forty years, truthfully claiming
that they’re merely still, passing thru, passing by

9:40 am, respectable hour to meander over
to the throne room, the four Adirondacks, them,
the year round poetry nook authorities, are equal
sunned, shaded, simultaneous, stately shadowing,
observing, advertising as perfect for composing,
willing to make verbal suggestions, rhyming notions,
especially when the poem pays proper obeisance

and so it does, and so it is, as you can clearly read


9:53am Sunday Jun 14
Year of the Pandemic
see cover photo
Delilah Jul 2016
you should have been there
it was all numb ceiling fan talk
while i was tasting all my senses
everything was new

maybe it's no coincidence that autumn gives me new hope
like i am given the chance to ease into frostbite while laughing
like colors caress me while i avoid hibernation
like wood burned memories celebrate anniversaries unforgivably
October is a month to celebrate the death of all things passed
and July is just avoiding my identity

I've been sweating for hours on end
waiting for your return so we can
sing like someone would listen

today i realized that i can't keep redecorating my self taught cage
devante moore Feb 2018
I’ve never known you
I wish that wasn’t true
You live inside of me
I can hear your footsteps echoing
As they pound against pine wood floors in your bedroom
You’ve must have decided on the room in my head to lay you own
Because when you sleep I can feel your snoring trickling into my jaw bones
And redecorating must not be your forte
It tickles me how you clumsily drop things everyday
You nail at my skull constantly
As you try to get the frames you banged in to stay
And god I hate it when the hammer catches your nail
Because when you yell
Your screams rings in my ear
Like a small child playing with a doorbell
When you dust it’s hell
It gets caught in my nose
Like gum on clothes
Buts it’s all worth it
Because when you laugh it sets a fire In my soul
And makes me wish I wasn’t so cold
It seems as so
Your the girl of my dream
But the thought of loving someone like you
Dies behind my eyes
Mateuš Conrad Dec 2021
pelvic plum...
if you don't know what that is...
em...
let's begin with:
i have beard envy...
i'm not going to lie...
but when it comes to having
***** envy?
oh... you know those guys post their
phallus selfies...
just after they ****** themselves off
and all the blood is resurging to
the liver, kidneys, etc.?
that part i find hilarious...
i always thought:
send them your shrivelled up ****-pick
and... as a bonus: your uncircumcised
"excess" flesh... how's that?
**** sending them your...
just *******... bombast...
oh wait... wait... gotta take a post
e. e. cummings ******* selfie...
n'ag... i need to wear a baseball cap
on backwards... put a clip on
the visor... shove a *******
pen up the cap so it sticks like an
antenna...
then think about...
will i finish painting my bedroom
at 12am... or will i... just...
put it off for a more decent hour...
perhaps... since it's December...
catch some daylight hours...
how's that?
honest to god, even my cat thought
it was a bad idea... you done enough...
you done, enough...
******* and scribble something...
fair enough... if a cat's looking content
via prescription dynamics...
i really shouldn't be painting at 12am...
i should be: if i were a Picasso...
but simply... redecorating my room...
the last green, the last ****** green...
given enough artificial lighting...
more ******* grey than green...
oh this new stuff... FAVA BEAN...
whatever the hell that means...
put that hue to the test when stressing
indicators at a crossing..
auburn smoulder... red?!
adventurous canary... amber?!
thesaurus chameleon... ******* green?!
go?! i most associated green with
safety... why not blue... for... water...
flow?!

well, yeah, so much for ***** envy,
like reading up the khama sutra...
deer ******, rabbit ******...
elephant ******...
conversely a deer phallus, a rabbit phallus...
an elephant phallus...
so much for "pair bonnding"
between an elephant phallus
and a rabbit vagiba...
hardly the ***** envy type of story:
when... you can't arrive at a pelvic
plum...
you know that place...
you're so right up the cul-de-sac...
matched... that your ***** region is...
bruised from the knock-in-knock-outs
of thumping...
so much for a large ****...
when you can't put all of it her...
savvy?

better start ******* a donkey or
Alexis Texas... or some black girl with enough ***
cushioning to allow you extended length
some: ahem... breathing room...

just recently... watching ****...
on mute... it's no ******* Caravaggio...
these are the spicimens i could eventually
****? no thank you...
do i have to be some ******* in order to...
no thank you...

on a sly: affirmative action... concerning
the lack of male graduates in / with college
degrees, as possible suitors for women with
college degrees... say, what?
that's in Fahrenheit or in Celsius?
inches or millimeters?
the **** are these ditto-heads on?
sign me up to their pharmacist!

ditto-heads: pseudo instruction manuals
for composing a narrative...

i drink, to giggle, to arrive at a steady hand...
a bit like a "painter" is to a surgeon...
mind you... painting in one colour...
in a 3D space is a meditative endeavour...

the currency of ******* is diminishing....
perhaps i don't want to **** women as
portrayed...
perhaps i don't want to **** the sort
of women: portrayed...
either way... *** is too rare for me to somehow
succumb to... pornographic fetishes....
not going to happen...
each time i might as well we ******* a ******!

i drank too much, i ought to have
finished the painting & decorating "thing"...
yesterday... but these are the wintry months...
less daylight hours...
eh... i abhor Christmas...
******* carols...
i love winter... why require some pick-me-up
festivity?
some ******* tree?

the temp. has dropped...
there's less dust in the air...
the insects are hibernating...
you can't pick up the serpentine scent of garbage...
what's not to like?
sure... you see less sunlight...
isn't that a good thing?
last time i heard it rumoured...
you're more assertive in the twilight hours...

- bowling for, perhaps, soup?
yeah, but perhaps it's only a "Slav-thing"....
i do become upset over...
mis-etymological: logistics...
like: barber is somehow
of Turkish origin...
Anglo-Saxon pick-me-ups...

perhaps it's only a "Slav-thing" to register
being offended at the word...
*******... biscuit-bite...
or, perhaps...
the minorities are too *******
sensitive?!

        i don't like being called a Slav(e),
i.e. with supposedly an E-"missing"...
lazy ******* islanders...
keep them that way...
island dwelling people are always that way...
self-important,
self-agrandiosing...

   angradiosing snoozers: eee!
a googlewhack... one in a billion... however many
a time...

i was looking for... self-....
                              aggrandizing...

is it an S, is it a Z? or is it a... ß- (+) -orrow?
ha ha!

odd... i don't feel insulted...
i might do... half of Europe being denoted as Slave...
maybe i should check with the Russin hackers...
Russian... they just might...
be itchy enough...
perhaps the etymology rubbed out a little...
along the lines of the JUGOLS...
the southern Slavs...

line of faux pas etymological pursuits:
Germans? beginning word, prefix...
GERMS?! JA?!
no... i think i'll clarify with the Russians...
these ******* English idiots talk one thing...
think another.... high praise for H'America...
H'America my ***... a black-fetish...
cry-baby interracial-bonanza! load, of, *******, *******!

call me crackers... call be ******* cheddar...
although... hmm. cheddar...
that's pushing the Gobi desert territory...
after all... the areas where the Mongols adventured into...
set those places back... circa 100 years...
hello Ing-Land!
so lucky... inventing football,
cricket, rugby... come to think of it...
**** it up... concerning Rotherham...

thus dictated... England made war on Germany circa 1939...
last time i heard...
****** servicemen... flight! flight!
no Englishman ever stood ground
on the Westerplatte..

you get to own yours... i don't get to own mine?!
how will that ever, *******, werk?!
**** it, whatever...
you have you little interracial experiment...
i'll be with the: in-their-graves
19th century germans...
oh... i'm not having children...
it a bit like:
would i really want to put them through
this... cultural... ahem... drought?!

i'm here... that's already enough...
i don't need to subjugate my ***** to fully grown...
stampede of errors...
i always thought i was the good father...
why?  because i didn't have any children
to raise as my own...
bring me children of strangers...
i'll babysit... no problem...
i was a good father...
i didn't have any children to raise as my own;
subsequently... like EMINEM...
i forgot to boast about my fatherhood skills...
daddy failed: whereas i achieved prowess...
some ******* load of "i"...
it ends up being a returns policy of: YOU...
right about, nearing, some variation of... (the) end.
Graff1980 Aug 2019
Right now
it is a beating flesh bowl
****** and hollow,
pumping out
semi precise
kind of nice
percussion.

But it is getting
a little crowded
with all those
love notes
of mellow
melancholia
music
that makes me
forget how
to use it
properly.

So, lately
I have been pondering
redecorating
that useless thing.
I’ve been contemplating
taking
all the red blood
that has been bathing
my system
in oxygen
and replacing it
with chambers
of danger
and dust.

If I must
use it
then I need to
remove
all of you
that have been
living in there
rent free
before I can give it
a gothic reprieve,
all dark, gross,
and gritty.

I might even
just take out
the whole *****.

Might be good for the spacing
like removing
walls we weren’t using
anymore.

What do you think?

— The End —