ONE KNIVE FOR CUTTING
THE OTHER FOR STABBING
TWO KNIVES HAVE MUCH IN COMMON
BUT ONE KNIVE GOES BEYOND CUTTING
IN FACT, IT’S DESTINY WITH A MISSION
IT’S ****** IN BLOOD BATH
AS THE DOOR OPENS, A KILLER HAS A KNIVE IN HIS HAND
WANTING TO BE UNNOTICED, BUT THE ATTACK TO TAKE EFFECT
THE VICTIM IS ASLEEP IN BED
BUT I WANT ALL TO NOT BE MISLEAD
THIS WILL BE A QUI K AND ANGUISHED STEAD
SLOWLY THE KILLER GETS EVER SO CLOSE TO THE VICTIM
SUDDENLY STAB AFTER STAB WITH THE KNIVE UNTIL
THE VICTIM BLEEDS AND FINALLY DEATH
THIS WAS AN ATTEMPT TO ROB
THE VICTIM NAMED WAS ROB
A KNIVE THAT LITERALLY TOOK SOMEONE’S LIFE
BUT A MORE CALMER KNIVE THAT HAD A SOOTHING ADVICE AND CUTTING DINNER MEAT
THE KNIVE IN A CONTROLLED HAND
THE AFTERMATH BEING DEATH IN THE CARAVAN
NO HONOR, BUT PITY
IT ALL HAPPENED IN A BIG CITY
A KNIVE THAT HAD NO DIRECTION UNTIL POINTED
THE CUTTING EDGE
THE LOSS OF ONE’S PRIVILEDGE
EVIL IN MIND, BUT WHAT ELSE COULD BE COMBINED?

Back when no one spoke of love
because it was too hard to explain,
daddy use to tell stories at the dinner table
using salt and pepper shakers,
and mommy would listen
but I would not,
because children
did not listen to salt and pepper shaker stories.
Maybe if I had listened just a little bit harder
mommy and daddy would still love each other.
But I never listened
and daddy never stayed.

A few years later
daddy still told stories around the dinner table
using forks and knives and empty plates
to people who never cared and never listened
and mommy wasn’t around.
But I still was
and I was the only one to listen.

His stories weren’t of love,
or life
or anything anyone would remember tomorrow
or the next day,
but if I learned anything from those
salt and pepper shaker stories
and the fork and knive tales,
it was
never fall in love

and I never did.

ice water clogs up my veins,
chilling me,
as most rises from my skin at dawn.
cerulean lips that match my eyes
spread over bared diamond teeth,
as I convulse and writhe on the steel table.
ribs crackle and split so suddenly
that not even a sharp gasp
can knive itself
past my throat.
organs fails and shrivel together,
abandoning me,
as gloved hands rip them out
from the incision along my belly.
my once silky tresses
fray and dry
before eventually falling out,
outlining my spasming figure.
grey brain matter numbs and
electrical impulses cease to a halt.
no more thoughts...
no more movements...
just a dead body with a beating heart.

Rose petals
Sharp knive
Sparkling ballgown
Dazzled yet heavy crown
White gloves
Damage heels
Unbearable armor
Complicated manner
Tricky mutuals


you know? being a Princess isn't that easy

I hate reading you my writing. you've seen my skin split but that is nothing compared to this. I won't let you look at me because I am so afraid you might see how sorry I am. you can turn away but guilt is ebbing from your spine and I absorb it's heaving glow. I bet you didn't know flowers grow towards the sun
2. if I could count how many times I think you've lied to me I would need a thousand hands. every finger would be calloused and burnt but veracious. I've dived into glacial waters and lost perception of the surface. when I see the sky, I swim down to touch the sand
3. I once was with a boy who fell into an abyss of addiction. fourteen months of malicious intentions that rendered me to ash. now I am smeared across your mattress and swept into the cracked marble corner of the window sill, kissed by the silk rhythm of the curtains. I am the needles you dropped on your carpet. I would give you all of me but you don't want a fraction. you know, that boy had my ring that said "I Love You" and he tossed it in the lake. I had another that said "Always" and it's somewhere in your home now. the lake will dry before I ever see your bedroom again
4. you have more lyrics memorized than words printed in a novel. the backroads of Carolina are veiled by tree branches but these streets only seem significant when you're singing in the backseat of my car with your head cutting through the wind and your palms caressing the curves of the atmosphere. and after all, she is much more lovely than I. you recite songs we've heard in the exact locations where they flowed through us for the first time, although it's been months since we've listened. you can remember every time we've ever ****** but not one time you've grabbed my hands
5. we fell in love in the winter. it is so **** warm outside. I hate it because I can no longer become entangled beneath blankets heated by your body. you love it because there are a hundred places to be now. all of them without me. but it's the lack of words from you that destroys me much more than your dexterity. if you can kiss the hickeys on my neck why not the scars along my chest? why are there scratches marking up your frame like a road map and knive handles sticking from my back? twist them and I'll scream, cut me and I'll bleed, but nothing you will physically do can ever injure me.
6. there is something about the f word. and I don't mean any of the words you like to yell while you're ambling down the halls or skating down the street. this word: Forever- makes me want to hurl myself off a bridge. I wonder if you would stand there and try to talk me down like the one boy we saw who broke his bones. it was February sixth. It is April and I can't drive past there without wanting to mimick his very moves. maybe I pray for Forever so badly because you would never bless me with it. maybe its because sometimes I feel like my words are a foreign language and you only grow frustrated when I speak. maybe it's because loving you is mostly like sticking a loaded gun down my throat. I often slip into my fathers closet and pull his pistol from it's case just to remember how it feels. but you are far, far more dangerous
7. if you are hearing this you are sitting beside me, or beneath me, and you should know that you have saved me. when I found out you couldn't sleep in your own bed while I was gone (and how you could not write because music is too much like poetry) my brother told me, "good luck loving him as much as he loves you." what he doesn't know is how I can pick you out of a crowd of a thousand in just an instant. everyone asks me why I love you because they don't understand you. I don't understand you. that is why I love you.
8. I have read the minds of stupid boys with loud mouths and pretty smiles but your life is still just foggy windows that I cannot clear. I would love to hear you make promises but I don't think you can keep them. you were with me when you had two girls by your side- how could I ever know where your hands are now when I am not holding them? I would take a bullet for you but you're the one holding the gun. I always kiss you first. I always beg you to stay. but I am constantly so worried that you will slip away.

I have wondered
For so long

How it could be
I aint strong

So I waited
All my life
I got baited
By a knive

It once told me
I'd be good
Sound of glee
I never understood


Hush, now listen
My advice
Blood should glisten
Loose it's ties

I will help you
Letting it flow
This intense hue
I made my vow

You may kneel
On the floor
You won't feel
Any gore

masonry leaves, firecombs,
fire of guts. passion

hair scratch of dying flags
I want a place to knive dive
Into something now

The time is borne
The corn is milkened  the almonds filled
Oklamnic breeze fading
Less than the morrow flajakling is
Getting more understandable

Walking up dawn

The things of our pasts are merging
Confronting
We’re loving the cracked tiles
Of our foundations

But…

All the tears of the savanna
Drip into the cold pool
At the bottom of my heart
I wonna down a bottle fast
Stare at the sun till everything disappears
and all is warmth and light
but the sun of the old yard feels gone
forever

to rødgrønne flasker med et indhold af 6.4% kærlighed
hvide tænder der bed i hvide lagner
varme kroppe der dansede med en illusion af lykke
sorte lunger der slugte mørke tanker
korte arme med en mørkegrå himmel malet på sig
hullede stemmer som blev syet sammen af undskyldninger
disfunktionelle hjerter der prøvede at slå
tomme skeletter og blå shilouetter
kold januar-regn der vaskede alt hvad der mindede om tåre væk
knive med smilende ansigter risede ar på rygsøjlen
spredte ben og lukkede øjne
to rødgrønne flasker med et indhold af 6.4% kærlighed flød i synlige åre
6.4 % kærlighed blev optaget i menneskekroppe
6.4% kærlighed er væk

She was only a kid, her
Sleeves always Rolled down
Its seems like a long time
Since her Dads been around

Moms drunk at her boyfriends,
showing up half the week
When she's home. she's always
screaming, her drunk Breath Reeks

She's afraid on the Pavement,
while she jogs down the street
With thugs selling crack on every
Corner, afraid who she'd meet

With all this Pain and Desolation
seem, to be on every side,
And her Life outta Control
Makes her wonder if she died

So she gets out the Razor Blade
and Rolls up a sleeve
And see's the map of her past
when the Hurt wouldn't Leave

The Blade Pierces the skin, And
the Red Snake proves she can bleed
Feeling the Pain is the only way
she knows she's Alive...

The Salvation she finds comes
from a Sharp Steel Knive
In this deep black whole,
its her only way to control

What a shame that its all
for this poor young Soul

Tallerken, gaffel, glas og krus.
Gryder, pande, høj og lav.
Køleskabet min bedsteven.
Ovn, vask og ske.
Rindende vand og plaster på såret.
Skærebræt og store knive.
Blod på bordet, blod på salaten.
Et højt irriteret brøl.
Tekopper, kaffekopper, grimme kopper, flotte kopper.
Skåle og dybetallerkner.
Vandkander, brødkrummer og forgamle rester.
Morgen, aften, nat og dag.
Altid og aldrig.
“tøm skraldespanden inden du går!”

So many things rush throug my mind. Memories, feelings, things that now seem like lies. I trusted again and it took so much this time.

You reminded me of the day I never came by. How sad you were, even pictures where you cried. You see the reason was still to protect you inside... I knew your hurt, I never wanted to see that side. I promised myself to give you my all, hence why there was never that knock on your door. You had me fight hard for me to reach a point where for you my heart was released. Yours to hold, yours to keep.

You made it hard with the confusion you claimed as watching you kiss other girls, leaving me behind to find with in me the trust to be bound, to the love I now look at with a heart that drowns. The tears you told me was over me was in actual fact for the lover that knocked, more lies and deceat.

I kept my cool, I knew it was real, the love for you I started to feel. I closed my eyes and took the step you now want me to see as regret. I could never have you see what I saw... The girls you tried to keep. Knowing my past you pulled the ace that slammed our dreams back in my face. I tried keeping you safe while you found yourself deep, in a place darker than the nights I held you while screaming yet you were fast asleep. The first shot was hard, the sting felt deep, deeper than any scars in me. I shruged it of and stood by your side no matter how hard I had to fight. For reminding you how precious you are meant far more than my silly scars. We made it out to the light, our love now free to remind me again you are forever in me. Marry me one day I heard you breath in a moment we both thought could never be. I wanted to scream, i wanted to shout, yes my love please,  forever I'll love you, I promise you me.

My tumble in life came when I tried to see to a brighter future for you and me. I tried to stand tall but I fell on my knees, for I looked around to find just me. Away on business, you told me, was actually ripping us apart, another girl other than me.

I accepted your words as truth told to me that you would never hurt me like that, you loved only me.

Confused at times over words that cut deep, I thank you for reminding me why my scars were so deep. Taking a knive, you ripped us appart...

Questions still hang fresh in the air but now I know, the answers are there. A truth hidden deep in the scars you have left. I would have loved you forever, beyond my last breath.

How to let go of someone who dosent derseve you 
Step one, let your guard down let that person inside and show him everything. 
Step two, give him your heart and soul and everything you locked away from everyone and let them break you from inside out. 
Step three, dream about him every night even when you don't want to always dream. 
Step four, love him more then you love yourself Love him so much that you can't be away from him for more then a hour. 
Step five, make friends with all the people he used you for and all the girls that took your spot in his bed because maybe they need someone too and maybe there hurting like you are. 
Step six, don't let him see you cry and don't let him know you need him more then you need to breathe cause that's weakness and he will eat that up. 
Step seven, don't give him your body in the middle of the night just cause he's lonely, the girl that left that morning got the same treatment and sweetie you are better then that. 
Step eight, never tell him you love him again, remember what it feels like for those words to roll off your lips and sound so wonderful in your eyes and ears and him having no problem saying it right back with his fingers crossed be hide his back.
Step nine, once you said goodbye don't say hello again. he will always try and come back so you need to be strong and let that message box fill up with his apologizes and death threat notes and forget about him. Don't feel sorry Cause he's still here after every threat right? 
Step ten, look for the boy who seem to always be there but you never noticed cause you have had a dark cloud over you for so long. Notice him and let him in and don't think that you should ever go back to your past cause he's your future now. Know that just because you thought you were in love once and it will never be the same isn't true. 
Step eleven, be happy. Simple as that. Remember what it's like to smile again with someone. Someone who actually cares about you and someone who you derseve to be with cause life is short. why waste it with people who use there lips and charming words to get you and leave you alone cut head to toe with your own knive? 
Darling, I know it's scary letting go of someone you once called home but follow these step and one day you will
Be happier then ever cause you let go of that burning house and came into something new, a new home.

Thou art now subject to moral decay,
Moral display is factored in thy oddjob list,
Wherein snob-ball Lisp's are sumblime in groupie sets!!!!

Woe to be pondered,
Sky's souly to be wandered through broken holed boat's,
To neat-nice pottery stinking nets!!!

Astute loons maketh their graces high and mighty,
Where tribes stay rewinding their beginning end's of birth,
Art thou a leader from many kingdom's?
Or a lubricant to zealous curse!!!!!

Spoon's replace knive's,
Deadly sin to replace wive's,
Crimes against humanity puppeteer the market's trail,
Crumb's reach the helpless, whilst snarling dog's drag tail!!!!

Embankments to fit the streamed beauties,
Where prestine muting is sound fit to cold coated bones!!!

Infrequency goes higher to the laughing in lover's valley,
Wherein pin's to sportsman's ball goes rallied,
Tallied up zero to zero four score!!!

None makes a difference if thou art the lonely beggar at loves lost door!!!!

A premium stands by for the serpent who make's it's pass,
Crawl through the fiery hole thou stained creature,
Step out betwixt the cities of the now and forever future!!!!

constantly ripped down the spine of my nose
arch of my back oh and im
stretching and your catching falling strips
of skin from my stomach rib cages
and my mind is always thinking
always screaming
      (not in your warm arms
       in your gentle kisses comfort
       come yellow curtains pale pink blue dishes)
but hectic white winter oh im
running out black striped hats strange
geometric knive shapes
shining texture on my body skin
slicing (oh i dont dare touch my wrists
when the cold is pain oh pain enough)

When she first saw him, he came fearless wearing red
She was uncomfortable, in her usual black
And by that
Anyone could say they didn't match

Although they got along
It was clear that something would go wrong
A mischievous boy
Falling for a broken heart girl
Who would dare to believe that from it
A love could grow?

The girl didn't know how bad this boy could get
And she had confidence to let him in
Like with somebody else she never had

He stabbed a knive at her back
While saying "I love you,"
"I don't know why you always so sad"

One day the girl realized that she didn't deserve to be treated that way
She wasn't able to save him from his demons
'Cause he wanted to be bad anyway

Didn't take long
To the boy realize he was wrong
And so he got hit by the epiphany of all the bad things he had done
All the pain he caused, he felt in his own guts

And with this sad ending
They part from each other
Now the broken hearted,
As so deserved, was him

Jeg kan høre grin og høje råb
Lange suk og næser som forsigtigt snøfter
De taler højt med skarpe stemme som bliver udpresset af nogle munde som er blevet  trænet i Jeg-taler-kun-om-mig-snak.
Pralende tunger som klukker, ja selv tændernes klapren som ekkoer ud i de store kolde ***, piver i ørene som var det knive der skære igennem min øregang.
Lyset fra en enkelt lille lampe kan føltes som en sol på en 35graders varm dag med skyfri himmel. Det gløder i deres blikke, alle er de fyldt med enten jalousi, træthed eller ensomhed. Men i det mindste føler de noget, i det mindste gløder det. I det mindste er der noget bag deres øjne, inde i dem selv som ubevidst hiver dem op fra sengen om morgenen og starter en ny dag.
Jeg ville give min halve arm for at være i deres sted, men så alligevel.
Jeg er her, det er aften.
Måske er der alligevel noget som ubevist hev mig op fra sengen i morges for at starte en ny dag. Hvad det er, det aner jeg ikke.
Og jeg håber ikke at jeg finder ud af det.
For så kommer det til at gløde og jeg vil ikke have at mine øjne gør ondt.

eksistenser der efterlader ar i huden, trukket over ryggen, over leggene, over identiteten
mulden i hjertet, hjertet i halsen
gravsten i ribbenene og knive i albuerne
asfalt under neglene, asfaltsmanicure
river huden op river en i stykker
vi vil underholde vi nedbrydder os selv smil for smil
tænder et lys i mit hjerte for dig jeg vil stråle men
først skal tågen af melankoli fordampe mit
lys ligger bag et gardin af tristhed
sådan en rodløs forvirring en rodløs ligegyldighed
med murbroksruiner i lungerne får jeg vejrtrækningsproblemer
og skårrene i din latter stikker
ingen er ødelagte, men alle er flitrende
vi vil underholdes

betrayed by life
the cut of a knive
stuck in the heart
and it falls apart

no hunger, no food
no stars, no night
fade away darkness
and become the light

it’s impossible
what’s possible
when you can’t see
a ******* thing

through glasses of loneliness
there’s only the nothing
can’t know what’s real
without anything to feel

She did nothing as he ***** us.
She did nothing as he murdered the neighbor's dog.
She did nothing as he whipped us.
He drugged us & knocked us out.
He ***** us & tried to **** us
The torture & torment.
He got away with it all is how that went.
The gun "mama' got him was for his own protection.
I still remember I have recoalition.

So he had it everytime someone called the cops.

It would be in his left hand behind the open door.

Law enforcement knew nothing & still don't.

It was 1988 to 1991.
The sick ******* had his fun.

Now "mother" just lays in a puddle of ****.
I am sure the past is not something anyone would want to live over or miss.
Everyday all day with no ambition or goals.

The filth & stench surround her.
Nothing beautiful or eye pleasing.
Just stale air & wheezing.

She is almost 80 & she doesn't care how she looks, smells, or feels.
The same with her house.

The only time she felt he had to go was when he threw a knive at "my brother".
After all that I no longer wanted her as a "mother",
I disowned then all by changing my name in 2008.
To control my own destiny & dictate my own fate.
Choose myself who I do or don't want to date.

He put alcohol in our drinks.
As minors so we could not be concisous to consent or think .

A disgust I could not stand.
He made me carry their dead bodies by the handful to the toilet to flush with my bare hands.
He kept dead fish in the freezer.

It's when I get so nauseous
And my body shows little
Cracks and i am not sure if
The wetness on my face is

Puke or Blood.

It's when my knive-sharp
Words fling through people
their hearts and brains and I
Ruin every bond i have so that

I will be alone.

Its the constant excitement,
Being felt in mostly my hands
Wanting to **** and hurt with
The biggest smile on my face.

You spell it: P.S.Y.C.H.O

It's the breakdowns with screams
and sobs and sniffles, welcomed by
the feeling of power and dominance,
which are symptoms of happiness.

All these feelings in 3 seconds.

It's the complete empty feeling
When the attacks die down and
It feels like depression over again
But it's all numbness.

Define Bipolar: Me.