"anywho" poems
(sorry, but not sorry)
There once was a potato plant,
(Because potatoes grow on plants...)
This plant harvested baby potatoes.
This was no ordinary potato plant, however,
It was SPECIAL!
Anywho, the plant grew several baby potatoes,
Who were harvested and shipped on a crate to a grocery store
in a cold, dark shipping truck.
The potatoes, they weren't scared! Yah know why? Simple.
Because Potatoes don't have FEELINGS!
....but if they did....they'd be scared. Take my word for it.
The potatoes arrived at the store and were bagged, ready for purchase. They sat together in a pile for hours,
thinking about (but not thinking about) what would happen in the future, why they were in this bag, UNTIL, UNTIL a homeless man (he looked homeless) reached into the bag, pulled out a single spud, and RAN! Out the store, down the street,
HE WAS OUTTA THERE! BYE-BYE SUCKERS!
Well, on his way to.... wherever he was going, he fell and dropped it. That's what stealing does to yah.
It rolled into an abandoned alley, far away from the man's sight. He couldn't stop and look for it, because he was being chased, so he ran away sourly, the potato being left cold and alone, without it's family to be piled up motionlessly beside it.
This potato was different. Unlike it's family, it could feel,
it could think and understand, even without knowing language at all, it's like the potato just knew everything and anything, without a purpose. And, another thing.
This potato, it was hungry. Very hungry.
Only hours later (again)
A parentless child walked the streets, searching for something to eat. They hadn't eaten in days. Of course, the child found the battered potato on the ground,picked it up and smiled.
It was the end of the potatoes life cycle, it seemed.
Or...was it? Seconds until the end, seconds until facing the terrifying wrath of the human's sharp, untaimed teeth, seconds until it got to see if there was a potato heaven or not, JUST SECONDS, something changed.
The spud; it grew. No, it didn't grow in size, but it did grow a mouth, and arms. And it could scream. Oh God, yes, it could wail like no tomorrow, so, quickly adapting to it's new form; it yelled ****** ****** The child threw it at a wall, screaming and running away.
..... Silence from the potato.
Sadly, it could withstand the grasp of a sweaty, homeless dude,
it could bare the growing silence from it's siblings,
it could even dodge the teeth of a starving ape!
But the potato was no match for a wall.
Mashed potatoes for dinner it is.
Sep 13, 2017
Sep 13, 2017 at 8:54 PM UTC
my 30 gb iPod
the garter from my senior prom
a tiny golden cross that had
faith & hope
inscribed into it
the base to my son's car seat
& his monkey mirror
my husband's suit jacket
& seven years of my
life written into
various paper journals
with colored covers
these were all stolen in the
first car I ever owned
her name was Lydia
*"She was the most glorious creature
under the sun."*
that comes from a
Groucho Marx song if
you didn't know
my Papa used to sing it to
me all the time
anywho
she was a 2000 Dodge Neon
painted black
two stickers on the back
"COEXIST"
and
"SUPPORT THE ARTS
KISS A MUSICIAN"
I got her my first year
of college from
a man who's like a father
to me
we've been through many a
busted radiator hose
& flat tire
last summer my husband was on his way
to work when Lydia gave out on him
so he left her at the side of K-15 and MacArthur
in Wichita
& told the cops not to tow her away
'cause he'd be back for her
when he returned after his shift
she was gone
nowhere to be found
a vanishing act of pure mental hell
& unanswered questions
to this day
I miss her terribly.
Mar 8, 2012
Mar 8, 2012 at 2:27 AM UTC
As I went about my day.....I thought about Dr. Seuss. How much I enjoyed his rhymes and his stories in my youth.
The truth of the matter is this.....Sometimes I feel like the grinch and my heart doesn't measure above an inch.
I feel sad ...mad and blue.....and when I feel I have been disrespected...my reply is " Who are you talking to?"
I don't live in a zoo.....and never met a "who", but needed them to give me a clue?
Aachoo! Bless you! Who me? yes you.....couldn't be. Then who? Anywho....I don't like to argue and fight .....my intentions are to do what's right.
I write due to a love affair I have with words.....adjectives ....nouns and verbs. You may call it cheating....but its not that at all. I believe they're all beautiful ......and allow them to shine when I write about our time at the ball.
How beautiful she was standing there unassuming in a dress that was red. I approached her from the rear of course and whispered in her ear about my horse parked outside.
I was curious to know if she wanted to ride. Aside from her beauty her scent drove me crazy.....as it entered my system my nervous system became lazy.
I could hardly concentrate on what I should do.....instead of level ten ....my mind was on level two. What should I do?.....my grinch like heart had gathered a spark.
As words danced around in my mind....and massaged my hardened heart .......my anger was released to create a work of art. The feelings that were trapped inside were allowed free reign.
The substance that they contained.....revealed a man who should have gone insane.....it's plain to me .....and why wouldn't it be?.....that suddenly my mind is free......
At least for the moment......I don't like green eggs and ham....but I do enjoy money in my hand. Yes! I do.....and if I gave you a few dollars ....I'm sure you would too.
How much I enjoy when money is around....although she doesn't stay long. As soon as Bill comes along ......she suddenly is gone. My pockets become empty and my mood not so bright.
I feel like a jilted lover.....whose been abandoned late at night. She never returns.....but I am able to hold her again......until Bill arrives and demands her attention again. I don't like him....he's always around like the first and fifteenth.
**** Bill is what I often say.....I'm a little Suessed out ....forgive me for my rant if you can I say.....Have you seen Thing one and Thing two?
I wonder if they can come out to play?
Oct 7, 2012
Oct 7, 2012 at 12:06 PM UTC
There's an old grave yard up on the hill near by
I like to go there and sit and look at the tombstones that are so old you can't see the names on them
Because I'm morbid I guess, I feel at home there
Today I went there
I took some of my little resin fairy folk and gnomes
I've been strangely obsessed with those little resin, fake people as of late
I made them a village
With their very own cemetery and fake dead things
The fairy princess is a **
Promiscuous princess is knocked up and doesn't know who the baby daddy is
The ****** gnomes pass her around like a water **** at a party
The fairy Prince is gay
Anywho,
I put them in a paper bag with my whiskey and went to hang with the dead for awhile
I played pretend with them for awhile, the dead and the little people
Then I drank till I started to remember how my life *****
And how alone I really am
I burried my face in my skirt
And cried
Mar 8, 2017
Mar 8, 2017 at 1:16 PM UTC
Have you ever met someone so stupid you want to punch?
I have,
Everyday at lunch,
I hear her crunch on her food
from across the room,
Then I hear Alexa's BOOM BOOM BOOM.
This girl, you see,
Is not like you or me,
She is quite the *******
She doensn't even know how to work a compass.
Anywho, I should be going,
And stop loathing ,
On a ******* name Lauren Joyce.
May 14, 2014
May 14, 2014 at 8:56 PM UTC
“Oh hell yea, they’re suffering! They’re believing that they can go home, but aren’t getting any closer to the Entropoid Valley which leads to Kubla Khan, by whom they were cremated and born. Instead, they’re here, whiling away their days for boys who are bringing the death of days.”
“Hold your thoughts, lad!” Yells the Cameraman of the Head.
“I’m here, I’m in your head ImhereImhereImThere. You’ve no right to chastise the boys who have not kissed the horror. They’ve seen it, yes. But they haven’t captured it, you see. I am the camera, in my ribs are the film reels, the oscilloscope in my uvula, the trigger rested in my right earlobe. I tell you, there is strength in their brutality, I can bring you the tribal taste.”
“Man, we was just talking about centrifugal farce.”
“Centripetal.”
“No, was it?”
“Wasn’t it?”
“Hey! I believe-“
“Can’t be”
“Shan’t be”
“Oh, whatever. Those bullets find their way to the ***** anyhow.”
“Anywho.”
“Hey, grab your Coca Cola, Clean. We’re ‘bout to miss the show. The cameraguy could record it if he wants.”
Oct 21, 2018
Oct 21, 2018 at 12:18 PM UTC
take it further than
blue jay blue jay
sunshine on a gloomy day
my goodness I'm a mess
took my thoughts on a
rip tide lawl ride
tongue tied n' fried and
I'm sighing sighs of silly songs
over sickly sickles sicking dogs
of love on rippling rainbows
step aside, ego!
i wanna see your shadow
summer's soon anywho
Mar 15, 2015
Mar 15, 2015 at 4:06 PM UTC
Late night at the Bar,
The neon sign said time to go,
Funny, when I got there it was all
Welcoming and overenthusiastic,
Garish, like a parade of clowns
With balloons that just got lost
Loosed, to the winds. I had a few—
Too many and wrote a broke poem,
All alone surrounded by the clank
Of wood from a pole and clicks of levers
As the glistening 'patrons' shimmied their
Tithes to the used machines of *****
Pinned and the green tables pooled
And the women, who desperately looked
At only you, after you looked at them
And the indifferent, tallish Barman,
Who kept pouring smallish dreams
In a shot glass. I stumbled, swirled out
And kissed the tar as was my want,
Every newcomer slogging in
Simply ran with not even noticing,
As I laid on the ground, they knew
That their time was soon coming.
That's called simpatico, or is it
Solidarity, maybe, whatever?
Anywho, I dusted my self off
And hightailed it back home
Before the broad, my old lady,
Jezebel, caught me on the sly.
The 'Queen of Sheba' was already
There— prostrated on our bed
Waiting to nail me. My only excuse,
The muses— she wasn't buying,
I said baby, 'I ain't tryin' to sell
You no lie. The words, they come
And they go, like a train that never stops
But you bestbe going, you best be jump in'
On that steel Goliath and ride that son to the gates
Of pearl and peace, them goldilock rays and then I said,
Hush, my little 'rock-a-bye' lady, you shush now,
My fresh night moon of lilly flower, we's gonna
Make like nubile creatures, all naked and free,
There ain't no clocks little darling, there's
Just you an' me and all the rest of herstory,'
She bought that line!
Nov 22, 2014
Nov 22, 2014 at 11:30 PM UTC
Late night at the Bar,
The neon sign said time to go,
Funny, when I got there it was all
Welcoming and overenthusiastic,
Garish, like a parade of clowns
With balloons that just got lost
Loosed, to the winds. I had a few—
Too many and wrote a broke poem,
All alone surrounded by the clank
Of wood from a pole and clicks of levers
As the glistening 'patrons' shimmied their
Tithes to the used machines of *****
Pinned and the green tables pooled
And the women, who desperately looked
At only you, after you looked at them
And the indifferent, tallish Barman,
Who kept pouring smallish dreams
In a shot glass. I stumbled, swirled out
And kissed the tar as was my want,
Every newcomer slogging in
Simply ran with not even noticing,
As I laid on the ground, they knew
That their time was soon coming.
That's called simpatico, or is it
Solidarity, maybe, whatever?
Anywho, I dusted my self off
And hightailed it back home
Before the broad, my old lady,
Jezebel, caught me on the sly.
The 'Queen of Sheba' was already
There— prostrated on our bed
Waiting to nail me. My only excuse,
The muses— she wasn't buying,
I said baby, 'I ain't tryin' to sell
You no lie. The words, they come
And they go, like a train that never stops
But you best be going, you best be jump in'
On that steel Goliath and ride that son to the gates
Of pearl and peace, them goldilock rays and then I said,
Hush, my little 'rock-a-bye' lady, you shush now,
My fresh night moon of Lilly flower, we's gonna
Make like nubile creatures, all naked and free,
There ain't no clocks little darling, there's
Just you an' me and all the rest of herstory,'
She bought that line!
Jan 1, 2015
Jan 1, 2015 at 5:26 PM UTC
Cyber Kids R Us!
Your Facebook took over my Myspace..
I had to Tag you on my Tagged Place.
Your so Tagged.
I Googled you and was wide eyed to my surprise..
I found you world wide web styled.
I found you had gleefully Twittered beautifully.
I searched you on Instagram.
And like dang Peeps on your page going ham.
And on Skype! Your tag line is so hype.
So your on my laptop. Owwee Bop bop!
I can even touch you on Imvu.
So owee baby @Yahoo..
Let me stop Twittering this thing.
Instagram @ Instagram strings.
Its making me google eyed.
Has my Facebook all hooked.
You have places and video's I ain't even looked.
It's like your my new Candy Crush game.
I'm all lit by your social media fame.
Yet I'm the Unheard girl lame.
But I wanna dine in your Cafe
or play on your Poker holdem staff.
Being your follower is such fun.
Add me to your Snapchat.
I'd be so down with that.
I am so here to Comment you've peeked such interest.
Gosh I made you a collection in my Pinterest.
But its a shame how I over looked your Youtube.
I feel a bit *******
Anywho..
Your such a Gift I need ya to know.
Long as we don't end up on Bill Cunningham show.
we can stay surfing on this web thing anywhere we go.
Oh I'm not a virus...
Just a cyber Kids R Us...
By selinasharday the HeavensRosepoet.
aka Heavens.Ebony.Rose #H.E.R
All rights reserved..S.A.M
if you repost plz post with credits to Author. Me!
Jun 13, 2018
Jun 13, 2018 at 9:36 AM UTC
Look at me, I swear I'm clean!
Or atleast I do allude;
To existing in a conform
The terra o' delude
In a ****** reform
Or atleast living I mean
Dance with me, I swear I jive
to a tune of jubilee;
Lowly as obscurity
Repulsive swinging gypsies;
Wriggle in obscenity
Atleast i'm alive...
with Pals once high on relations;
We've lost our ties and inspiration
Ignorantly unhumbled and blinded;
A bitter temptation as the lime did
Oh desire!
You're sending such morse signals
Oh desire!
What have I done to you?
Oh desire!
Tell me the truth- nothing trivial
Oh desire!
Look what I've done to you...
I tried to find an easy way;
Can't say **** but I say it anyway
All choked up on it anywho;
High on me - Dried on you
Oh desire!
You make me cry
Oh desire!
We're both bad liars
Oh desire!
want to dye?
Oh desire!
Dance of fire!
A man does love
Desires' hips
seer of this
Ale axes hint
Mar 27, 2014
Mar 27, 2014 at 12:02 PM UTC
Sometimes, I really don't feel connected to this reality. Every moment of this life, I feel disconnected and distant from everything and everyone. How do I stop feeling this way? How can I return to normal? I just want to be normal, loved, noticed.
I don't think that anyone notices me. I feel ignored and overlooked. I guess a lot of other people feel the same way. I can't say that only I feel this way. It's a universal feeling. Everyone feels or has felt this way at some point in their lives.
It's comforting to know that others feel abnormal sometimes. That you're not as much of a freak than you originally thought you were. Something about knowing that other people have the same feelings and emotions and passions as you do, or did, is sort of a relief. I wonder what your thoughts on this matter is. Since I can not see you or hear you, I could only assume that you would in some way agree with me. In the case that you do not agree, then I would love to find out what your opinions and thoughts are.
You people facinate me terribly. From you random episodes of nervousness to your moments of passion and love, everthing you, and I, do is an amazing specticle. Just think about it. We are amazing specticles just floating in a sea of zero-gravity and clouds of star stuff. If that's not amazing then I don't know what is. The fact that we are here is amazing. The fact that we feel things is amazing. The fact that we are born for a purpose is extremely amazing.
Life is a gift and a curse, though. It gives life and takes it away.
Life comes in different forms: there's "Life", the day-to-day event that is personified, and then there is "life", the precious gift that is given to us by Life. This probably doesn't make any sense. I really and honestly have no clue what I'm going on about. If this makes any sense, then you are extremely logical and extremely special.
Anywho, This is the first of many stupid entrees...
m.k.j
Mar 10, 2014
Mar 10, 2014 at 11:52 AM UTC
I am older now,
And we've been together
For decades now,
So I don't pretend
To remember
Our first kiss, now.
Anyhow,
It's sensations are still with me.
That kiss was a sentence.
Anywho, or, Anywhom,
What's more important,
Is...
I don't foresee
Our last
Anytime soon.
Apr 2, 2025
Apr 2, 2025 at 9:07 PM UTC
I see the immoral convictions in front of me
do I dear to believe them to be true to me?
This false fantasy has to be inception of mine
or ‘tis just a state of one’s mind to dine...
Anywho, anyhow.
Why does one condone, what is not true
to whom we are to be the truth
but falsely fantasy is also expected of thee.
For we are fools of the school’s tools
the system is rig of this tools
from the schools to the fools;
because we are merely but a rabbit,
hiding from the snake's taste for bait.
Weak and feeble we are!
‘Tis to be true for the youth
and generations come to pass
for we will stay
the way
‘tis.
May 26, 2015
May 26, 2015 at 5:05 PM UTC
Whence I was younger
Nine or ten of age
I remember me and mine parents
Travelling down to south Carolina ( Myrtle Beach)
And on that elongated trip
By car of course,
I remembered the smell of the hillside's
Whilst traveling inside Virginia, and west viginia
As thou didst not knoweth
(Beckley, west Virginia) is where grandpa's from
(Mothers side), of course...
Anywho,
Whilst travelling I saw freedom
Freedom men died for
Slaved for
Embraced for
I could hear the gunshots
And moonshine traces
Left upon the wind wherein they were created
That noise hast not faded...
Not even slightly...
The people were kind
Invitingly...
Southern souled kins...
As we continue up and down the curly cue roads,
The ones with no railways
(Quite scary I must sayeth)
We continue on into North Carolina...
Whilst entering into the North of Carolina,
It was a simple place
Wasn't mine type of place to be honest
( more of a south Carolina guy, "the old feel")
We past more charming upranged mountains
As the mountains thou couldst tell
We're boiled into the land
By gods hot glued finger
Many country roads and highways
To break on in
Here's the part though that awoketh me
..
We came to a road a little past Charlotte
The big city in the north of carolina.!!!!
This course pavement Artery
Was a hidden road
One thou wouldst not want to travel alone at night
There were trees on both sides
Trees that looked as if they had cometh out of the (nightmare before Christmas movie,)
As thou couldst feel the old pained( ******* subjugation)
The deathly lane was just that
( deathly) moribund in all manner
No houses
No streetlights to guide thy way
Not even creatures to scurry,
If their was any
They were moribund to
Like the ghost slaves staring back at us
I felt those bondaged men
The Africans who hath been slain on those trees
Plucked from their homeland
Sent here too be whipped and bleed
I saw no illumination
Other than the moon
(Full moon)
To guideth ourn way....
As I felt the slaves running ,
Weaving in and out of those trees
As if they were still running in fear
Fear from their slavemasters
We finally pushed on through that devilish appartional road
Making it out alive
It felt as if a nightmare
As if forever
I believeth it took two hours just to get out!!!!!!
No lying there
Of course I was nine or ten
So thou doth not have to believeth me
Though I canst forget the feeling of those slaves eyes glancing
Crying out for help from me
And trust me
If I was there
In that time
All of those slaves
Wouldst haveth been free
Free from chains
Free to roam
Free to come and go
And go to Myrtle Beach
With me and mine family !!!
Jun 18, 2015
Jun 18, 2015 at 6:41 AM UTC
I'll only tell you this cause very soon I'll be asleep and I'll forget I ever made this for you but anywho: I've always found people like you throughout life and they've always had the same damning effect on me. They make me feel like I have a reason to walk this earth to be alive other than just to breathe part of that joy and that's all I've ever sought to be honest I've never cared for anything else before or after that one goal and I've always found that no matter what I do after I leave that person they seem to have been tainted by me, so flee I might be sweet but you'll find someone someday so much better who'll reduce me to nothing in comparison but for now you should keep a distance between us because I am not like you, I doubt I ever will be and as such if you don't keep your distance I'll ***** you out and leave you feeling like I do I'll leave you feeling like nothing, good night
Sep 17, 2012
Sep 17, 2012 at 4:36 AM UTC
Give up waiting, doofus. It's so much easier when you don't give a hoot and nothing's happening anywho.
(sonnet #MMMMMMCCCCLXVI)
I've been reciting for--was that--intents?
How lo, my cousins' kids are in betrayl
Nigh grown, who were so little on that scale
Ten years agone, when I last for good sense
Saw these, or pictures of the same to fence
Some fam'ly shindig with all to avail
Whatever, me an old maid yet sans bail,
Til hopes look quite askance without defense.
Joe is attractive ah, beyond as twere
The dreams I've known, a dream anon come true.
If only now we could be all we stir,
Have children of our own, lo that would do.
Well, be together in yes, love, endure
To death thus, and have kids: what's I love you?
01Jul17b
Jul 12, 2017
Jul 12, 2017 at 8:03 PM UTC
Yes, I can smell the gunpowder all right.
And sure, I can hear the 'pom' 'pom' in the distance of the bombs bursting in air and whatnot.
But I'm not seeing the red glare itself.
From every angle, I'm not getting any of the rainbow foofaraws as was advertised.
Instead, it's just me and the dog here.
I'm just dizzy with conflicting ideas of what being 'here' means.
Anyways, I'm too busy, tired and dispossessed of my patriotism to really give a rah-rah anywho.
I guess you can keep the fireworks.
Jul 21, 2019
Jul 21, 2019 at 1:56 AM UTC
Lived in a homeless shelter once - made me go to AA. I wonder about the success rate of enforced sobriety - probably as ****** as it sounds if the universe makes any kind of sense at all - Anywho - I played it off, polite, smile, repeat after me - 'Hi, my name is Anna, I'm an Alcoholic (Drug Addict if it's NA). Always passed on story time though, 'I'm just gonna listen today' I'd say. Not because I didn't have a story though, but because my truth had to be worth more than just a signature on a sign - off sheet, even if only to myself. Nothings free, not even for the Signers.
Jun 3, 2015
Jun 3, 2015 at 2:34 AM UTC
Well, hello there.
I won't be here long.
Just wished to greet old friends.
Figured while I was about
I could slightly lessen
My overabundance of words.
Lately they seem to trip,
Sometimes stumble over each other.
My mind still screams,
But it is subdued.
My scars are still there,
But they have faded somewhat.
I do miss you all,
Playing games of words.
Tossing similes across the way,
Almost like playing literary dodge ball.
Anywho,
I wish you all the best,
Of pain I wish you less.
~The Silvertongue~
Oct 31, 2017
Oct 31, 2017 at 8:37 AM UTC
Some days ago I realized I'm only getting older
So I tried to be bolder, shake the whole world off my shoulders
My failure has only made me colder
The fire inside, unfed and dying
I can't keep track of all the times I tried to hold her memory
Tried to forget all the lies I told her, silly
And all the lies told to me I let them roll over
Like Sisyphus and his boulder, forever crushing my four leaf clover
Deceit bred a hate I held dearly
A fear grew from what I'd see if I ever saw clearly
I drink what I drank and deny insanity
Still hoping for the change to spawn from monotony
To be continued, I'll see you when I see you
Today tonight tomorrow, next year, anywho
I'll still be a fool and you'll still be a queen
A jester in your court till the fat lady sings
Feb 22, 2017
Feb 22, 2017 at 9:29 PM UTC
We need to have a conversation, you and I
But you are not permitted to speak
For I am loudest and most damaged
You owe me this, for I am weak
It is not your turn to be heard this time
Do not refute or I grow louder
I am small, broken, and disenfranchised
And I could not be prouder
So this conversation we shall have today
For the times say it is required
I know all, because I've been there
And frankly, I'm very tired
So let's share some information, you and I
But only I -- not to berate you
Anywho, I need to be going now
I haven't time to educate you
Dec 2, 2016
Dec 2, 2016 at 7:29 AM UTC
Congratulations to the girl who’s finally taking time
to go and see a guy. I hope he is sublime
and that everything for you goes just fine
because after all it’s not my concerns, you ain’t even mine.
Anywho I’m back to the world
with words unspoken, ideals and values hurled
into conversation and bring it all up again.
******* forget locking myself in the den
because my egos inflated
my mind and soul’s separated
I’m prepared for the future
no longer dwelling over a stupid creature
Reality ******** me
because **** it, awesome is what I’ll be
now people tell me I’m in over my head
but **** it, I’m me and that’s all that’s needed to be said.
Selling the sadness away and swapping it for my pride
because the old me has died
and now the worlds meeting with the new soul supplied.
I still congratulate you none the less
and wish that everything goes bless
and now of to my holidays I go
to escape the past and feel a new soul flow.
Admit being stupid over imagination
got me being dumb like I needed consolidation,
well **** it I’m to cool to fall for this desperation
and now like I said I’m of to my new destination.
Feb 10, 2016
Feb 10, 2016 at 1:00 AM UTC