Many a people hand out
Flowers as Bandaids
Mistakes made, Lying sick
A bouquet is thrown in the mix

I wish I could hand out flowers
But I know that would be strange
Sunflowers to the girl I once loved
To show her life has meaning
Lillies to my stressed out mom
Who deals with the mess that is me
Daffodils to the boy I'm with
An apology for the stress I give

Flawless white roses for my son
An early apology
For the endless mistakes I am sure to make

I know the process
Doesn’t make it easier
It starts off with shock
Then leads to red anger
I’ll bargain for peace
Till I sink to depression
And hopefully by the end
I’ll have found some acceptance
I know the process
Doesn’t make it easier
I still feel the sharp pain
Since life's been taken from her

As a grape I was in shock

As a pear I was enraged

As an apple I was embarrassed

As a grapefruit I was ashamed

As a pineapple I was depressed

As a watermelon I was a mess

But when he came out a babe, things fell into place

Away fled the shame as love took its place

Sometimes
In the Sunshine
Is where my heart lies
And I never wanna leave

But the dark climbs
Through the night sky
And I can't fight it
No I can't fight what's meant to be

Please protect my soul
If there's a Father above
Keep my body whole
From breaking apart

I have felt so cold
And broken apart
So please protect my soul
If there's a Father above

Sometimes
It's a good day
Clouds are away
And I'm feeling like a champion

Then there's mistakes
That makes my heart shake
And I can't fight it
No I can't fight what's meant to be

Please protect my soul
If there's a Father above
Keep my body whole
From breaking apart

I have felt so cold
And broken apart
So please protect my soul
If there's a Father above

I don't know what to do
I don't know what to say
Should I fight my own war?
Should I kneel down and pray?
You know it's hard to have faith
In a man up above
When the people you know
And the people you love
Drag you hopeless and torn
Left you crying and worn

And as a child
A small child
It was so easy to love

And as a child
A small child
It was so easy to pray
To that man up above

Please protect my soul
If there's a Father above
Keep my body whole
From breaking apart

I have felt so cold
And broken apart
So please protect my soul
If there's a Father above

Please

At the young age of three
My brother said to me
"I wish I got hit by a car"
My thoughts wandered far

Why would a child?
Have thoughts so vile?
I didn't comprehend
That this wasn't the end.

At the age of 14
I typed on a screen
"I want to jump off and die,
I'm ready to meet my demise"

I understood the pain
My brother held in his brain
No wonder life felt drab
When I couldn't even feel sad.

And yesterday, at 11 years
My youngest brother told me crying tears
"I want to jump off something tall
I want to die, I feel so small"

I hugged him tight
Kissed his cheek
Told him life, does seem real bleak

But these thoughts,
I've had them too
And your brother
And grandmother
And my mother
It runs in our blood
To feel so alone
But together we're strong
So please don't go.

The heart beats in rhythm
To the crashing of waves

Whoosh- Crash

A monotonous beating
Of unexplained motion

Boom- Crash

This sound, motion
Describes disappointment

Whoosh- Crash

A normality of life
That breaks one's heart

Boom- Crash