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Triscuit Dec 2017
Sunlight swathes the car door window, warming my shoulder with southern heat.
Tunes hum, rattling around in the radio, patiently waiting their turn to serenade me next.
The anxiety coats the air like warm milk in your stomach, clinging to the interior of the vehicle.
Words are few, silence abundant in it's absence, it only pauses for brief discussion.
There is not much left to say, the worst is over. New chapters begin, the fear seeps out and reality creeps in.
. . .
Triscuit Dec 2017
My heart lurches.
I feel the jitters coming on.
Can you taste the acerbic air?

It's so cold.
Your eyes are frozen.
Locked beneath the hull of your anger.

Hit me.
Don't flinch.
The words cut almost as deep as my unkept fingernails.

Apathy rings loudly.
Empathy has yet to resurface.
I choke.

It's over.
Jitters have passed.
The footsteps fade.
Almost there.
Triscuit Dec 2017
I woke up this morning to you towering over the foot of my bedframe.

Anxiety

When I stared blankly at my cereal bowl, disinterested and afraid to eat.

Anxiety

I take a shower at a snails pace, petrified of returning to the mirror to be bathed once again in your foul cocoon.

Anxiety

When I leave the house I look down at my feet, to escape the gazes of strangers with motives unknown to me.

Anxiety

As I cry alone in the bathroom stall, not knowing who to turn to for a problem that never leaves.

Anxiety

I just want you to know that you're killing me.

Anxiety
Sometimes life is an unnecessary struggle we are just trying to beat.
Triscuit Dec 2017
I watch these fleeting scenes flit behind my eyes.
Moments where I've captured you.
The silence is unbearable.
I can't undo hurt.
Taking blame is losing my pride.
I'd give it all.
I've thrown it all away.
You lie there, in a troubled slumber.
I brace for the next slide.
Trauma on replay.
Please don't leave.
It's only over once.
Triscuit Dec 2017
Never again will I walk those floors, or will I see the stars in your eyes.
The rooftop romance we once had will dissipate into a soiled garment on the floor, one I left there months before.
You left me in the winter, and I met you years ago in the hot summer scape.
I've evaded this fear too many times until I realized my love was gone and yours was too late.
Never again.
I love you. But you're not coming back, and I don't want you to.
Triscuit Dec 2017
The endless trickle down my neck reminds me of you

The memories like warm honey that dry into a sticky mess on my back, pulling me down to earth whenever the next fall is taken

I can't hold in the rasping breaths that plague me, hyperventilation crushing the base of my skull, a fight for my conscience, my concious

I can't see the end of this now as I know it is near, I can hear it. I can taste the bitter synchrony of our thoughts, and I give my final look

One last trickle, my darkest friend.
...

— The End —