You don't believe me when I say you're the most handsome man I've ever laid eyes on,
And I don't believe you when you tell me I'm the most beautiful girl you'll ever love.
My hair is black and blue
Like a bruise
Or my heart.
And my ex's name tastes like the ether she's been sniffing to get my name out of the creases of her favorite sweater.
The cigarettes I smoke,
They smell like the toast I will inevitably burn in a couple of years while I'm making your breakfast before work.
And some days I look at photos of the ocean
Just to see if I can find the same blue that's in your eyes.
And I know it may not count for much, but when her and I used to joke that blue was the color of love, she always thought of her own eyes while my head was flooded with longing for yours.
I was coming down from a two week binge the day you found me again.
I spent a week thinking I was just imagining things. I spent the following week trying to tell myself that you'd never be mine again.
Two years ago, you left me in a puddle of fear and apathy
With the bitterness of every single "I love you" still in my mouth
And when I spit, it was like venom.
I always told myself that I'd never be in love again.
For two years and three days, I was right.
But here I am, two years and four months later, head-over-heels in love with the boy who made my heart sing with his voice and my soul drown in his ocean blue eyes.