just another wave
just another scare
under the willow tree
shivering to your name
looking for those arms
in the warmth of the day
everything was taken away
as fast as the pouring rain
not a minute too soon
not another word was spoken
roaring and tearing like the broken
impossible winds and dreams and water
shattered like the storms’ passing
every drop, every pour was unending

do you remember
blank sheets in between our souls
while bodies meet behind closed doors
coffee stains in my eyes
the pain of losing the light

do you remember
listening to the music of my words
read out from my mind
as if you were inside
contained in my memory
painted in oil pastel
while you spilled water all over
the canvas of a summer night

do you remember
walking into a forest and getting lost
like children in a playground
and leaving trails for one another
while building a constellation
galaxies away from each other

we lifted each other up
until we stopped
we forgot how to be alone
do you remember me at all

I
trembling fingers write
with every emotion 
lied to myself again tonight
not another day to waste
meanings start to blur
in the in-betweens 
of music heard with me
now musings for another

now is this the most fun
you had in your life
wasted youth, everyday
nooses and strings
nothing gets through you

-
nothing else matters
like another lie you tell yourself
tonight, like every night
you drown yourself in hate
you drown, you are never found 
you drown yourself in hate

II
now isn't it the most fun
you had two weeks in
stomping on the ground
on which i have weeded out
all the mistakes myself
to blame you 
marching on the love i had
i found with you

every word is a mistake
every chance is a let down to myself
every memory is unforgiving
eat your words and spit out new mistakes
you drown yourself in hate

-
nothing else matters
like another lie you tell yourself
tonight, like every night
you drown yourself in hate
you drown, you are never found 
you drown yourself in hate

III
try and fix yourself
set yourself apart from the world
did you find what you were looking for?
did you gain the world instead?
you live with all but no regrets
but in the end, you see the truth

you are what you hate in yourself
you drown yourself in hate
in lies, in guilt you drown
you are all that i hated in me
you were all that i loved

-
nothing else matters
like another lie you tell yourself
tonight, like every night
you drown yourself in hate
you drown, you are never found 
you drown yourself in hate
you drown yourself in hate

today i’ll wake up and see the sun
set apart my soul from what was
the ghost you left with me
you drown, you are never found
you drown yourself in hate
you drown yourself in hate

This is a cry of a person dissatisfied
the faint feeling of a blank stare stating:

Here I look upon the world,
to which I am dreadfully attached
I regret to love it so much
as I cling on harshly, gaping;
it is full of distaste and resentment.
I tried to see everything in it,
I have lived and saw life without grace
and sin devours envy controls hate
and men die holding their pride
and selfishness corrupted the soul.

It is without a doubt that I -
who swore to be free of the earth
withheld of freedom and deemed memory
a clean slate again.

when i am craving
something to keep my mind off
you are always
in my space

when i am craving
nightmares instead
of waking up at all
you are always
in my eyes

tears fail to come
keep me company
these storms are every day
counting on me
when i am craving you

when i am craving
careless to say
anything
for myself
i forget for a while
how to feel at all

when i am craving
being alone again
i am carrying
the weight of you

i thought the sky cleared
out from my eyes
monsoons still passing by
under different roofs

did i omit to say
i dreamt of you?

the
gravity
of the
Earth
          is
              pulling
        me
closer
            to you
            now
you are
              the
                    ground
on which
I feel
           I am human.

Tinted lips
cat eye frames
peached cheeks
eye candy
calling me
coming over
and crying through
hues glistening
on my screen
are you listening?
coffee mouth
on my skin
is this blush enough
to hide the train of thought
smiles arriving too late
and we see face to face
new sinking streams
with you leading
to my dreams
droplets of liquor
wise demeanor
I can count all day
new twitching lights
returning the feeling
watching over me
fading stains
of blood and rain