You keep saying how you want me
But you stay with her
How you don't trust her
And how you trust me

You keep saying you'll feed my addictions
But can't you see
My addiction now is you

You keeping saying how I shouldn't put myself down
But here you are slicing yourself open

"You're so perfect."
"I'll never leave you"
"No matter what I'm here for you."
They all said the same thing
But where are they now?
Nowhere to be ******* seen

All these white lies
And small tricks
Are driving me insane
Wrapping me around your finger
Tighter and tighter then before
The noose wraps around my heart
And slowly chokes out the life in me

o.g.

i realize that i can't breathe
and it us all because you are gone
but sometimes i realize
that one day i won't feel this pain
i won't feel this destruction
i won't miss you as much
and then maybe i can breathe
for the first time since you've been gone.

1601

Of God we ask one favor,
That we may be forgiven—
For what, he is presumed to know—
The Crime, from us, is hidden—
Immured the whole of Life
Within a magic Prison
We reprimand the Happiness
That too competes with Heaven.

Be very careful
With your flaws.
They can be something
To love about yourself
Or they can be something
People hate you for.
Your destruction.
Be very careful.

How many

T
    E
        A
            R
                S
                   ago

                           Did I say I'd stop crying?

The thought of loving again sends trembles down my soul
Breaking it down
Like earthquakes destroying homes
My love is as precious as gold
But I find that at a cheap price
It is always sold

I guess I'm a hopeless romantic
And when my love is thrown in my face
I become frantic
I can't have it
Its just madness
When gold is treated just like plastic

Set on fire
The flames burst
The deepest cut in my heart
Is from the one I loved first
My heart died when he left me
And my body is the hearse
He trampled all over my heart
Left me so hurt
I don't know why I get so attached
Surely I must be cursed

I often find myself alone
And that's when my mind starts to probe
Why no one cares
Why my heart is cold
And hard as stone
Why I become unhappier as I grow
And why my heart is
Blacker than the night and a crow

Maybe its because
I have no friends
No one who cares
Enough to stop the tears

I have spent many nights
Sad,searching for a friend
And the people I find
Always leave me uncertain
Lord,Father
Help me
Please stop the hurting
Shelter me from my enemies' eyes
Please be my curtain

Fill me with the strength
I need to keep moving on
Cause with a twisted life like mine
I have no choice but to be strong
I try to let them in
Let them break down my walls
But once I do
That's when it starts going wrong

They leave me
Continue with their lives
And don't look back
And I remain here
Thinking bout the lack of trust
That I have
All I've ever wanted was a friend
To make this sorrow end

Maybe I should stop loving
Because it never lasts
Stop building castles in the air
Cause they are not there

I cannot deny what is real
Its clear I don't appeal
And I always face this ordeal
And this weakness I conceal

My loveless heart has had enough
I don't know where to start
But let me tell you
My heart has the deepest cuts
One more heart break
Will tear it apart
I don't know why
They don't understand
That I'm a human being
Who needs love

It starts
in the quiet
itching in the fingers
like new skin knitting under blistered burns.

I have always written.
Before I had my letters
(before the lessons
with stubby pencils
curving sense out of the air)
I would scrawl nonsense waves
folding and boiling
in a crash of senseless surf
onto pages meant for pictures

I scribbled a whole Atlantic
before sense and sound
delivered the waves to reason.

I still find it hard,
when writing,
not to let the rolling sea
scatter into fragment waves
that whisper into the breeze of my fingers.

I have tried many addictions,
I have spent people like money.
I have tied my hands
to stop from fussing at the leaves.
If I ever loved I left it still spinning,
but I have never lost the itch

a pen to scratch its bleed of ink
into a sweet clean ****** page.
To scrawl my feint history
in every broken harbour
of her yielding skin.

I don't understand
Why we claim we're human
When we tear each other down
Hurt each others feelings
Because we're too small minded
To accept that we are different
Instead we become hateful
Acting stupid and illiterate
**** the minorities' spirits
Make them feel insignificant

We teach every generation
That being gay is a sin
Then turn around and say
We're all God's children
There are so many thoughts in my mind
I don't even know where to begin
So I'll begin with this thing
That they call sin

God makes us exactly
How we are
The differences we have
Are to set us apart
So we shine brighter than the stars

So I don't know why man
Would turn around
And say on judgement day
All gay men will repent and pray
Cause they won't be allowed
Into heaven
Simply because they loved men and not women

Say the "homos"
Are lost and will never be found
The hate towards gay men
Is a sound too loud
The other day
An innocent man who was gay
Was killed by a homophobic crowd
When I heard of this news
My heart dropped and frowned
I don't understand
How man can be so proud
So send an innocent soul
Six feet into the ground

So tell me
You so called Christians
With your egos so large
Who do you think you are?
God said we should not judge
You walk around like you're perfect
But I see a smudge
From the lack of innocence
You carry on your sleeve
With your head in the clouds
Saying God created
Adam and Eve
Not Adam and Steve

Thinking you see all things
Through God
But really
You're blinded by hate
And all I can do is wait
For the day we stand in heaven
And await our fate
And hear God say
To all the men that are straight
"There is nothing wrong
With being gay
Because in my kingdom
That's how these men were made"