You shine through the darkness,
A single flame in a sea of emptiness.
I am drawn to you,
Captivated by your secret beauty.
Wonder seeps through your every aspect,
An air of mystery surrounds you.
I watch from afar,
Observing your every emotion.
Hope emits from your presence,
A faith so strong it overwhelms nature.
Suddenly you go out.
And once again I am
Lost
In this
Sea of emptiness.

A child smiles
At the smallest of things:
The way a bird flies,
The beat of its wings.
A rich autumn's breeze,
A cold winter's day,
The summer's green trees,
When spring comes to stay.
A dark empty night,
A white moon's face,
Stars shining bright,
A wonderful place.
A room filled with love,
Surrounded by laughing,
The thought of above,
Acceptance, no asking.
But then we grow up
And we smile no more.
We don't want to be us,
Nothing at all.
Don't lose your dreams,
Don't lose your smile.
Always believe.
Be your inner-child.

A fluttering heart,
A warm comfort,
A yearning so painful
You won't believe.
A constant smile,
A sudden tingling,
A quivering lip
You can't see.
An excited leap,
A sense of acceptance,
A nervous glance
You don't see.
A hopeful dream,
A strong belief,
But love won't come
To me.

I see a horse, elegant and proud,
I remember riding one into the cloud,
Her head held high, braver than me,
She was shot, that horse, despite her plea.

A firework explodes in the sky,
I remember him, his hopeless cry,
The night the shell came over my head,
And the next morning we found him dead.

A choir sings, it's Christmastime,
I remember the peace that cold daytime,
Boxing day we start killing again,
But that Christmas we were friendly gunmen.

I sit in a café eating beans,
I remember it, those dreadful scenes,
We were so hungry at mealtime,
But stealing rations was a crime.

My son runs around with a toy gun,
I remember how he did nit run,
Only looked pleadingly into my eyes,
I had no mercy- he soon dies.

I am not proud to be alive,
I am not happy to have survived,
I will remember you with all my heart,
In my head we will never part.

Wherever I go, whatever I do,
The war is with me.
It comes too.

With black leaves and black clocks,
I fall and drift as the time I forgot
Spirals beneath me,
A whirlpool dragging me
Down, down, down.
It dirties my soul with every turn,
Blackens the lessons that I learn,
Removes my life that means nothing now.
Away I travel.
Exploring the world with a sense of unknown,
Pitter-pattering on the edge of reason.
My doom is inevitable.
It is imminent.
It is lonely.
Alone, alone I press on.
I take back the black of the leaves and the clocks,
And slow the seconds in the time I forgot.
It is now.

Again my eyes flicker down to the screen in front of me.
I wait.
Every few seconds I check again.
Just waiting
For the sound that brings so much hope,
So much love.
Still you haven't replied.
I try to forget but it never leaves my mind.
My eyes keep returning to the vacant glow.
Repeatedly I check,
Aware of my desperate futility.
I will wait
For you
Forever.

My heart leapt
But my soul fell
Into an eternal abyss.
Further and further away
From light,
From hope,
From love.
I am empty and alone,
Unwanted and abandoned.
I am drowning,
Struggling to reach the surface.
Still there is a smile:
A pretence,
A façade.
My soul still falls
But my heart continues.