I am who I loved.

To you, I am childhood innocence.
I am pig-tails and the jungle gym.
I am the park and mismatched socks.
You lit up a room and I was your shadow.
For years of recess I thought you were always It.
I am positivity and enthusiasm.
I am childhood fantasy dreams.

To you, I am practice.
I am a bus transfer that took you to your next stop.
I complained every time you refused to play a song for me.
In the end, I was the only one that got played.
I am painful loyalty and forgiveness.
I am mistaken.

To you, I am a fresh start.
I am the butterflies in your stomach and comfort.
We made sense. Everything that we were worked.
I am sensible decisions and logical emotions.
I'm sorry that wasn't enough.
I am independence.

To you, I am an adventure.
I am late night conversations and the first time I lied to my parents.
Knowing you was like the moment you reach the top of the swings all the time. It was discovery and unexplored territory.
Neither of us understood.
I am recklessness and helpless romanticism.
I am not quite love.

To you, I am familiarity.
If you are the joke, I am the punchline.
I am who I always wished I could be.
For the first time in my life, being with you terrified me because I never wanted to lose you. I am knees that can't help but buckle whenever you smile, and eyes of reassurance and safety.
I am risks and rewards. I am blind faith and belief for a better tomorrow. I am sleepless nights spent crying from laughter. I am awkward hand holding and hiding from parents.
I am confident and protecting.
I am young love.

To you,
thank you.

This love won’t last forever
This love will fade away
I choose to love you dearly
I only have today.

Your kiss takes me to Heaven
I’ll plummet back to Earth
Today your lips are for me
And that is all I care.

Our roads are branching separate
We walk further afar
You won’t be here tomorrow
Our lives will drift apart.

Who knows what holds tomorrow
Or will this love survive
Today I’m only  grateful
To have you in my life.

As he kissed her forehead,
He heard her thoughts yell out
"I love you."
And even though he said otherwise,
His thoughts yelled out the same.

I could stare into those eyes forever, but we only had that night.
I could wake up to them every morning, but the timing of our love wasn't right.

I could put his prolonged gaze on repeat for it made me feel as if no one in the room mattered but me. Just that look spoke to me and told of how he felt the same way.

When he held my hand, it's like it all came together. The moment we had been waiting for finally arrived, allowing the tension to subside. We didn't need words to communicate how we felt, for a single squeeze of his hand told me everything else.

We were so comfortable in each other's hold, and his warmth made me feel at home. I was vulnerable, but he was strong and his company made me feel calm. I wish I could relive that night for it made me feel so loved and filled in the missing piece of a heart that was so used to being alone.  

Oh! How I knew he would have loved me in the most beautiful way, but I wasn't good enough for him and he lived so far away. I wish I could've put life on pause just to enjoy his company a little bit longer, but I only had that night to stare into his hazel eyes one last time.

Waking breath ghostly frozen, clang of ***-belly stove opening, cedar crackles good morning, sap sizzles, pops, melting.  Warmth finds children sleeping, humid air, mouth-breathing.  Smell of boy sweat and feet, young women ripely sweet.  

Cats purring, stirring, padding quiet down stairs, weave meowing through mom's legs.  Dented percolator burbles better days, snap of toast burned haze, molten mush bubbles burst, fade.  Birds early on the highway Paradise-seeking, time, flash-burned, fleeting. Cobalt jay mockingly complains, chickadee sings his own name, coyote wails, thin and plain.  

Children rise, sleep in their eyes, squabble over bathroom prize, eldest wins, click, locks herself in.  Hurry, hurry the bus is coming, ancient driver, annoyed and honking.  Brown-bag lunches crinkled running, feet slapping, seats squeaking, lungs hot and bursting.  Ride the dawn breaking, hearts aching for more than this, rural bliss.

Stop sign flashes caution, young lovers in the back seat, bodies in motion.  Stop, start, sway on down the highway. Engine mimics hot blood lust, accelerated diesel rush, nothing can stop us. You grab my knee - young, carefree.  Brakes sigh and hiss, sneak one last kiss. You mouth - meet me later, we'll sneak out, rush to a future we haven't got, ready or not.  

The old road at dusk, frog song accompanies us, bike wheels on the asphalt hum, forbidden moonlight run.  Feel your heartbeat on my spine, frantic drumming matching mine. Horned owl hoots, forlorn and bleak, a premonition we refuse to heed, reckless with need. In the clearing young love begins, forget-me-knots on burning skin.

It was a perfect sunny day in June
the day our fourteen-year-old fingers met,
our palms lined with a thin barrier of sweat,
under the Hyde Creek Bridge that afternoon.
After skipping rocks, we sat on the ridge
and Bobby granted my most desired wish
when he offered me my very first kiss
that afternoon under the Hyde Creek Bridge.
With his tender hand just under my chin,
(and my heart doing cartwheels in my chest)
he pressed his lips against mine and I sighed.
His tongue flicked my tongue, like an expert, he grinned.
"Was that your first kiss?" He accurately guessed.
"Of course that wasn't my first time," I lied.

This morning will be a different one, for he will meet a girl
With an auburn eyes, a winsome smile and a hair that is curl
Strange she is, but in a beautiful kind of strange

The boy will stop and stare, will be lost in her haunting sad eyes
She will not notice, and will never knew, that cupid has
shot the boys young heart

The boy found a reason to go out every morning
To see her again, he was hoping
For her smile becomes the sun that brightens his day

He will sit from afar, and with an admiring eyes, just watch her
She paints, she reads, and sometimes plays with her dog's fur
He will silently watch and enjoy the beautiful scenario

It goes for almost a week
"I must be crazy, why do I stalk this chic?"
But he doesn't know the answer

All he know is, the girl brings peace to his heart
Her eyes and smiles are a piece of a pure art
and her laughs are a song to his ears

He could not explain it, watching her makes him happy
and sends a warm chill to his heart, very fancy
"I need to know her name"

The next day, the boy waited in vain
But the girl never came
"I'll wait again tomorrow"

It's been a week, but she never showed up again
In his chest a sadness and pain
Could not accept, she looked for the girl

He found out that the girl loves to paint
But the smell of the chemical will cause her to faint
That's why she sneaks out and do it once in a while

He found out that the girl loves reading
But her eyes failed her, every letters are dancing
That's why she sneaks out and pretends to read

He also found out that her hair was just a wig
And her red lipstick was to hide her pale lips
And finally he found out her name








With a sound of a breaking heart
He reads her name
*On her graveyard

We were so right for each other,
like the sun
and the
moon,
but our timing was off,
and the sun had to rise too soon.

one day I want to travel to the moon
carve our names in the crevasses
because a tree isn't enough
to express my love for you.

Sometimes I want to travel to london
and lock our names on a love bridge
because a fence at school
just isn't enough
to express my love for you.

Sometimes I want to write poems
on your fire hot skin
with my red burning lips
because my words just aren't enough
to express my love for you.