i am a worthless person, i know,
value me? i hope so,
i admit i'm not perfect,
sometimes i do overreacted.

making conclusions,
making suspicious reactions,
creating nonsense illusions,
mistakes in every actions.

i am a worthless person, i know,
prioritize me? i hope so,
i'm not commanding you,
but still, i hope you do.

you complain about what you read and hear,
but what if i disappear?
will you even feel?
these grudges i don't want to reveal.

Laughter can be heard.
So loud it comes from all directions.
Pointed fingers and dripping nostrils.
Exploding stomachs as the heavy aching thunder rolls from below.
It used to be just a trickle.
Only triggering occasionally.
But now.
Every move that's made succumbs to it.
For truly in the mind they belong right here.
And for just a few heavenly moments can paradise be felt.
Thus what follows is accepted.
For one to believe that those tiny specs of preciousness are worth.
Anything.
Everything.
Because soon they will be gone.
The days are made brighter and easier to maneuver.
But its like having a rusted cart to push for miles.
With only drops of oil left to get it there.
When nothing is wanted more than to just cross into the prosperous lands.
Focusing too much on any point but the one that these boots do tread.
Always leads the traveler and his belongings astray.
Although as time has came and went.
His precious things slowly fell away to the ages.
Maybe one day it will fill again.
But its best just to keep the eyes trained on the horizon.
Storms tend to betray those that fail to give lady fate proper respect.

Silence the whimpers.
There is nothing to mourn.
Some can still remember what the empty lot held 0nce.
Colors and excitement clashed with such vigor.
Someone should have caught how quickly it would go up in smoke.
Like a leaf in the Sahara.
Smothered and withered.
Every time one would pick up the remains.
More would fall away.
As if the attempt at repair only invited more distance.
Arguing is useless.
For there are new toys on the playing field.
Some that trample down others while playing the only card received.
The haze over the land has become thick with regret.
And even though the pain sparks from every corner of the wasteland.
Not a single flower has bloomed
Just years of weeds and insecticides to populate the once beautiful surroundings.
Now the barren plain whispers as if there were ears to listen.
More or less to be validated.
It's sad to see ships leave the harbor withouts sails.
And weird to think back with such wide smiles.
When the only expression left.
Is a sigh.

there is a numbness in my bones
while i sit on my worthless throne

I think I finally understand what it means to feel.

My thoughts are killing me
My dreams are haunting me
My body is covered with hundreds of scars

Because I've done nothing but build you up by tearing myself down.

My eyes are liars and so us my mouth
My body disgusts me and I'm repulsive to myself

I'm worthless it's easy to see
And it's bull-****.

If time stood still for a month
I'd question the minutes I misused
If given a week, where I didn't have to think
I might find a second to relax
This American dream I'm suppose to be chasing,
Just feels like I'm racing between work and my bed
Building  a mountain of stress and a mountain of debt
And then I come home, underpaid, overworked
It's hard to not let a job, define my worth.

They build us up for years, kid, follow your dreams
Then tossed to curb, kid, your worthless, it seems
They don't understand, the price to move up these days
A 50 thousand dollar loan to get a degree
In a job that still doesn't pay.
Call me unmotivated, I'll ask for an offer worth my time
Where the pay is substantial and insurance isn't robbing me blind
"Go be a doctor, a lawyer, a suit"
And spend the next 8 years eating only Ramen noodle soup?

You don't get it, I get it. "My generation wants it all for free"
Then how come I feel like I have so many chains around me?
They combat us with fear, attack our esteem and integrity
Until you're weak and question your own abilities.
These kids pop pills because their stressed out from life
Have you seen the pressures thrown at them every night?
I'm not saying we're victims, I'm saying we just need help
We're a lost generation as past ones only fend for themselves

Time is funny,
It moves in a linear fashion,
But feels unorganized and dizzying,
A Ferris wheel of fate.
A spinning top incessantly spun.

It’s funny how perception changes,
How one moment you feel as if the world is your oyster,
And in the next that oyster is crushed beneath a cataclysmic stampede,
Or that oyster disappears, and you’re left with nothing,
Except the distant sound of ocean waves.

There’s something so funny about life,
About how it changes, shifts, balances and imbalances,
Based on a tiny detail,
And then everything is different.
A raindrop falls and hits the ground.
So does the woman from the bridge.
So does the soldier in Iraq.
So does the loved one slowly lowered,
Six feet under.

It’s funny how we pray and hope,
For something we may never achieve.
But that hope is what keeps our hearts beating,
Keeps our legs moving,
Keeps our brains working.

But what if our hearts are too weak to beat?
Fluttering but failing.

Our legs aren’t strong enough?
Bones, Muscle, Sinew, Useless.

Our brains aren’t smart enough?
A lump of distorted flesh.

What’s left for you then?
Just insignificant specks of dust in a world already forgotten.